Tag: #teenagers

If my daughter would listen…

…. I would tell her that the reason why I don’t allow her to eat whenever and whatever she wants is, because I care about her. It is because I don’t want her do end up overweight and get health issues…

If my daughter would listen I would tell her, that she should put as much effort in school as possible and even a tat more! It is because I want her to have the opportunity to choose from different positions and not take what ever the job market offers, living from one day to the other and not to pinch and scrape!

If my daughter would listen, I would tell her that she should help more often at home, because it prepares her having her own household sorted one day and that it is not a punishment!

If my daughter would listen, I would tell her to join us when we go somewhere as she is part of the family as well and that family and childhood time is precious!

If my daughter would listen, I would tell her the reason for her not wearing make up and wearing high heels is, because she should enjoy her childhood as long as it lasts!

If my daughter would listen, I would tell her the reason why she isn’t allowed a boyfriend is, because she is too young to distinguish real love from a crush and that she should wait as long as possible to prevent heartache.

If my daughter would listen, I would tell her that all my actions are because I love her.

If my daughter would listen, I would tell her that I care, that I don’t want her to be an uneducated, penny pinching girl with a big mouth, without respect and manners, and probably pregnant before she even moved out!

One day my daughter will remember everything I ever said, and hopefully thinks

“Good that my mummie taught me so much and that  eventually I’ve listened…”

Franky

Do we repeat our parents mistakes?

Early this morning, even before school begun, my older daughter Dana thought it is a good idea too make mummie angry! Again.

Today’s reason: She secretly put money on her lunch account and we wondered where she got it from. She claimed, from her money box. But me and her dad are sure, she didn’t have 10£ left, as she is way too greedy and likes to spend her money on sweets!

Now you would think, where is the problem, it is for her lunch account after all.

The thing is, she gets a big packed lunch with her which she eats in school on top and she eats a lot of crap including wheat/gluten products which she is not permitted to put anywhere near her body!

Your second question probably is, why no wheat/gluten? Surely she will not throw herself on a floor like a poisoned squirrel, shaking, waiting for the silent death. No, probably not. BUT we are a wheat free household. I developed gluten, lactose and soy intolerance and after I educated myself further what wheat or gluten does to your body, no one gets it.

The thing is, allergies run in our family and there is a chance that Dana could develop some too. Her little sister Cailleach gets horrible eczema outbreaks when she eats some with gluten in it (I wonder why I breastfed her for 11 month, thought breastfeeding prevents allergies?!?)

There is a German saw my grandma used to say in low german:

Was der Esel nicht kennt, das frisst er nicht!  What the donkey doesn’t know he doesn’t eat!

If she doesn’t know how it tastes, she will not miss it in case she develops those allergies (what would I give for a white Twixx, sadly I had to end our wonderful relationship due to intolerance, but no hard feelings here).

I am full of good intentions, but try to make a teenager understand! Sometimes I wish I was deaf, so I can’t hear her ever lasting last words! She doesn’t even know when it is enough or better to keep the mouth shut.

So I looked at her this morning and thought, she will make the same mistakes I did and my mother before me and her mother before her.

Like getting involved with the wrong people, getting pregnant from the wrong man (I don’t wish the death on Dean and Dana’s father, that would be a bit harsh, but it would be nice, if a bus could hit him by accident… and maybes reverse to do it again…), spending money on things no one needs and so on.

But there are always two sites of a story. You can see the glass half full or half empty.

Mine is half full. So when someones asks me about past mistakes I just say, “no mistakes, just a bit rocky”. After all, not so smooth life dramas help you to grow and learn.

Next time, when my daughter angers the you-know-what out of me and I feel my anger veins pumping furiously, I hope I can remember that her life at the moment is just a bit rocky (let’s hope I am also a bit deaf and blind).

Franky

 

Teenagers- I wish they where sweet little angels again!!!

I must admit, I was a horrible teenager. But then again, I probably was like all teenagers. I wanted to find out, how far I can go- like my older daughter. There is not one day, she doesn´t make me mental! It starts early in the morning. I have to tell her 3 million times to get ready and to wash. . . And when she did, I have to inspect her teeth just to send her back upstairs to brush them again and also to tell her to brush her hair.

Or when I ask her to tidy up her bedroom. Oh what for a big sigh do I get. I tell her to hurry up, because it is unfair that her brother has to put up with their other two little siblings while she is taking her time. She likes to do that- a lot! I shout for her and all I get is……………………………………………………………………………………. nothing! So I shout for her 3 more times until her majesty finally opens the bedroom door and says sweetly “yes, mommy? did you call me?”. Does she think I am stupid? Of course she heard me the first time!

Often she likes to act like Mother Theresa only that it feels like Elmira from the Loony Tunes. She bosses her little sister (she is 3) and her little brother (he is 1) around. And because they have their own mind it often ends in tears and shouts. When we go outside for example, she acts like she was their mother. But she doesn´t give her commands in a nice way, nooooo, she is loud and impatient and every few minutes I hear her unnerving loud voice shouting out to them until I have to remind her that I am their mother and someday (rather later than sooner) she will have children of her own to command but until then I want her to finally keep her mouth shut. Oh how nice would it be, if she would shut up straight away after my speech- yeah, that was a good one. Of course I have to repeat myself (did I mention I hate to repeat myself?!) two more times.

But the worse thing is, she sneaks food in her bedroom. Food like little treats for my little mouse after school. And just this morning I found 10 (10!) little fruit gummy packages in her room. Oh she made me so so angry because that wasn´t the first time she did that. I was so disappointed in her that she actually steals their siblings treats. I mean come on, it is not that she doesn´t get sweets. I must admit I lost it a bit this morning and shouted at her.

But it doesn´t matter how I do it, I do it wrong. Do I speak with angelic tounges to her, it doesn´t do much and if I shout at her either. SIGH. Guess you just have to be brave during the whole teenager time. Specially me. I was a wild child as well, so I know exactly how she must feel and that is why I try not to shout or to forbid her much, but still. When she looks at me and doesn´t move a single bone though I asked her to do something, oh boy… Mental, one day I go mental!!! I always tell myself “patience, have patience” but how much patience can a parent have?!?

My son on the other hand is not affected. He is a god boy, sure he is cheeky every now and then, but that is it. He wants to please us, he is just like my sister who always tries to please others (and our parents).

Back then, when I still raised my two older ones alone, I often wished them to be older and more independent as it was so exhausting with two toddlers alone. OH IF I WOULD HAVE KNOWN.

Dear parents with only toddlers let me give you advice, don´t wish for them to grow quick. Toddler years are nothing compared to teenager years!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What would I give for them to be cute little toddlers again. Before you know it they are all grown up. I look at my little ones and my heart is bleeding, because they are growing so fast.

But we will make it through the teenage years, sure I will get grey hairs because of it, but hey I said yes to my children, I planned and wanted them and will love them until I take my last breath!

Franky