Putting My Kitty To Sleep…

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…. was a really hard thing to do.

It was yesterday morning. Her health did not improve, quite the opposite. She had kidney problems for quite some time. They were so enlarged, she couldn’t even jump anymore. Around 4 days ago she started to just fall to the side when she walked. I hoped it would be temporary but the next day she couldn’t move her back legs at all and just pulled herself forward which was heartbreaking to watch.

So the next morning I made THE decision. I got her inside, she crawled straight onto my lap and buried her head in me, trembling, saying in her way

“Mama I am not okay…”

I went to the vet. My litte daughter wanted to come and cuddle her one last time. She knew what we are going to do. The vet explained everything, I signed the papers, they gave her the injection.

Kitty didn’t try to get off the table. Even at her last moments she wouldn’t try to scratch us! She rested her head in my head, took some more breaths and was gone.

We all here at home cried. We are still crying.

We had 11 great years with her!

Franky

Influencer

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So often we hear of influencer. People talk about them on the radio, tv shows, they are mentioned and even suggested in magazines.

And every time I wonder. Why do these people exist?

Do we really need others to suggest lifestyles? What to wear, what to eat, what to think?

Have we forgotten how to use our own brains? Do influencers really want copy cats?

We don’t need to look at other people to decide what for a person we wanna be.

You want to wear bogey green shorts with a peachy fluffy blouse and combat boots? Go for it!

You want to do things your own way and don’t want to budge from your opinion? I am all for it!

You want to get piss drunk for no good reason? I am coming right over!

Don’t let other people define you!

Don’t let them tell you how to live your life! The reins are yours alone, you lead the way!

Just be the best person you want to be! That is all that matters!

Franky

My Cat The Piss-Head

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My siamese cat Belle is driving me mental!

Whenever she is in heat, she starts to pee.

So when we start recognising the typical signs, we keep our bedroom doors shut, as she loves to pee on our beds during this period. Don’t ask me why! She doesn’t pee anywhere but the litter tray when she is not in heat.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this:

A week ago she peed right inside my fire place! MY FIREPLACE!!! A day later she didn’t even bother to bent down, she just peed while standing with her furry ass pressed on my fire place!

I mean, really?! What the heck??? I really, really scrubbed the whole lot (okay, my son did) and even lit a fire to get rid of the stench, but Miss High And Mighty still detected something that made her do it again.

For weeks we try to get her pregnant and I don’t know if it is her or our boy. I do understand, this can’t go on forever. I will go mental and it is also not good for kitties health not to mention the amounts of time I have to scrub and wash everything…

Poor thing! Poor Me!!!

Franky

Another Year, Another Mother’s Day…

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… another year where I can pat myself on the shoulder for keeping my 4 children +one alive. The +one is my foster teenager who also happens to be my daughters boyfriend, just for clarification.

Yes, my children, hubby and me all survived another year of arguments, laughs, temper tantrums, tears, joys…. phone calls from teachers telling me that my daughter pulled other girls hair, that my 6 year old son, brought £20 to school for snack time, that my other (foster) son received a demerit for…. whatever! Who cares?!

What I want to say is:

We all do our best to make it through parenthood without loosing all our marbles!

To all who have very well behaved children:

Well done! I am so glad that you have a worry less in your life! I mean it!

To those who have wild, loud, lively children like me:

I salute you, you deserve a medal! And a huge glass of whiskey! Your children will survive and you will master every storm that surely will hit you (and me) in the future!

To our children:

Hey, you made it through another year with the two people who you think are old, deranged party pooper. Don’t be too hard on them, it might not look like it, but they do actually love you!

One thing we should never forget whether well behaved (whatever you classify well behaved) or not, we love our children, they are our blood, they will remain until we parents turn to old wrinkly raisins. They will survive us and march on with their own children, thinking back in a nervous breakdown what it was like when they were little!

As for the coming Mother’s Day: This is the only day were my children are complete and of course unpaid slaves without reward who have to jump to my every whim. I do not want any gifts, flowers or cheesy cards, but a clean house and my food brought to the sofa I will be residing on all day long! It has been like this in the past and it will go on like this until I change my mind which will be….. NEVER!

Franky

ASDA Perth Customer Support

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Two days ago I have been to ASDA in Perth with my husband. While I was scanning the fruit isle, one of my ear piercings became loose and exited my ear with a big happy bounce.

I, however was not so happy. I have seen it like in slow motion. Me, squeaking, trying to stop it with the words “oh no, my piercing, my piercing…” but of course without success. If a piercing goes flying, you have to thank your lucky stars if you catch it on time!

So during this scenario stood an ASDA employee, looking at me briefly, said nothing and continued packing his fruit.

If I would see someone in a situation that requires help, I offer it! Whether I work there or not. And it wasn’t that he didn’t hear or seen it, we have been on our knees with our mobile torch on, trying to find that piercing under the fruit shelve!

It is really sad that nowadays so little people offer help but instead just think about themselves!

No wonder this world is as it is, it lacks of compassion and empathy!

My piercing is gone but one has to see the glass half full: At least I got this yummy vegan cheese which you can only get at ASDA.

Franky

Early mornings

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Since two or three weeks now I am getting up at the same time every day! 7 days a week, 5:45am!

Better for body rhythm, according to scientific studies. And I must say, I feel much better getting up at the same. And I don’t even mind going to bed at around 8ish!

My morning starts with my Lumie clock waking me up, I check my emails and the weather, get up and either do weights or go for a run. For my run I have to be out by 6, so I don’t feel rushed and can run a longer distance.

But sometimes I also just cook the lunch for the day(s), tidy up, do the laundry and get ready for work all combined with loud music from the kitchen because 1: I love loud good music, 2: when I am awake, everyone is awake!

I am a morning person and it feels nice when everything is done and dusted before you go to work, do the school run or just want to keep the sofa company for the rest of the day!

Franky

Me And My Commitment Issues

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Usually, or often, it is us women who blame the men that they don’t want to commit, but here I am, still sitting in my stripy blue/white cotton short pyjamas, holding my hands up, admitting that I have commitment issues!

I might even go so far as to say, I am a commitment phobe!

When you think of commitment, you think (romantic) relationships. Well okay, let’s start there:

Before my husband, I have been in relationships. Some longer, some maybe just a couple of month, weeks even. At some point I either got bored ore annoyed or I cheated which meant I would walk out of the relationship anyway. However, at some point I was told, I don’t have a heart because I just didn’t want to fully commit to the relationship. What was the reasonable thing to do? I walked away. All I ever wanted was easy peasy relationships and if that didn’t work out, even after a (lame) attempt to fix it, I just quit. Someone once proposed to me. The way and the ring was all wrong but I went with it at first. But every time I looked at the ring it made me sweat, I felt physically ill even thinking about being married (to that guy). I just couldn’t do it! I didn’t want this!

And even now that I am (happily) married, I often find it hard to stay committed which has nothing to do with wanting other men or romantic feelings it has more to do with me just wanting to do what I want, when I want. But when you are married, and you have children and a house together, you can’t just walk away when something annoys you, you have to work it out which sometimes can drive one (me) mental. And of course there is the thing that I am a flirt which drives hubby to his ends wits. But hey I am what I am, just can’t help it.

Am I committed to my friends? Here I can give you a big fat YES! I am loyal to my friends and I know they know it! Though sometimes I fear because of the distance some of my friends could just befriend other nice people…. hahahaha who am I kidding here?! There is no better friend but me! Ts, the thought alone….

But except from friendships I can’t seem to commit to anything!

I can’t commit to a hairstyle or length. I think I had almost every haircut possible in my 40 years.

I also can’t commit to a style clothes wise. I wore everything from hippie, to punk, 50s 90s….But one thing I never do: I never go with the latest trend. The things you currently find in my cupboard is lots of Fred Perry, skirts and long floaty dresses. And cashmere cardigans and jumpers. No jeans! And only two Fred Perry chinos for terrible weather.

When it comes to jobs it is the same thing: I studied to become a legal secretary but after 3 years I got trained to become a piercer. Two years ago I studied to become a sports massage therapist. Do I still work as a therapist? Of course not! Past summer I went to Ireland for work. I left after 2 month because I didn’t like Dublin (sorry Dubliners). Now I work in hospitality again and the only thing me not leaving is because the drive is only 25 minutes! I received an invitation for a job interview (two days ago) as a typist in Edinburgh city centre. I did not reply… yet. It would be more money, but also far more travel time. I would need to get to the next train station as everyone who ever went to Edinburgh in morning rush hour does understand why I don’t want to drive. Awful. Just awful. I mean if I switch jobs again, my CV looks like I do nothing but job hopping… Decisions, decisions…

A place to live? I can’t even commit to that! Yes, we bought a house and the area is lovely. But I would love to go much further north west! I feel restless thinking about living here for the rest of my life! I thought it’s what I want, what I need. But once again, I am wrong. I love moving house, I love seeing new places.

I can’t even commit to my WordPress. Instead of writing and committing to one topic, I write about everything and nothing.

Maybe commitment in my case equals boredom. Or maybe the feeling that if I commit I am stuck and don’t move forward.

Life is full of exciting opportunities and I just don’t want to miss out on anything, I guess. Does it make me sad that I can’t commit? No! I like the way I am! I am full of life and want to take it all!

So I try to keep on running. I mean, flying! Flying sounds much nicer. Flying wherever the wind blows me!

Franky