Category: True Love

It Was Completely Unexpected!!!

As you know from a previous post, I mentioned that I joined a dating website, or rather 3 shall I say. The first one was, at it turned out, for much older singles, the second very dodgy and the last one quite decent. I deleted the two first ones for obvious reasons: I didn’t have anything in common with much older guys and I also am not the type to just go meet a complete stranger for sex!

I wasn’t even looking for someone, just wanted to know what is out there. I had lots of messages and indecent pictures.

But one message stuck out. The message, though I can’t even remember the specifics, was so innocent, sweet and nice and I looked up his profile…

His was the only message I replied to. We got talking and two days later (I think), he phoned me. His voice, oh his voice…. it instantly calmed me down and we where talking for ages. It came naturally and was so easy.

We knew we wanted to meet, so we chose a day and time.
And I know it sounds crazy, but even before I met him in real, I knew I won’t go back to that dating website. Or any for that matter! There was something about him….

I couldn’t think about anything but to finally meet him and when I did and he hugged me, everything that was wrong, all my worries where gone and it was like coming home. HE felt like home.

And when he kissed me, my heart stopped and my brain couldn’t comprehend a single thought!

When I left that day to drive “home”, home didn’t feel like home anymore as I left my heart behind.

I am so smitten, I am head over heels!

Who would have thought?!


Dating Advice For The Ex

It is really funny how my life turned out. I didn’t see myself separating after 10 years of marriage, doing the conscious uncoupling thing and lastly giving my ex dating advice.

Darling ex was married twice before he met me, so really he was never alone and always in longterm relationships. Which means he has no clue when it comes to dating.

How to be flirty? What to say? What not to say? What is appropriate? When to ask to exchange numbers? When to initiate the first date?

So many questions…. the list goes on and on.

However, darling ex told me the other day, he is talking to a lady. At some point he messaged her something he shouldn’t have. So to rescue him from being dumped before it even begins, I told him how to save his backside.

Gentlemen, let me tell what women would want to hear. At least from my point of view:

Be straight with them! Honesty is the best medicine as women are sneaky detectives. If they want to find something out, they will and if they don’t like it, aaaaaall hell will break lose!

Also, tell them what you want from a relationship, but only the important basics. We don’t want to know your whole story!

And if you are just out of a relationship, but still friends with your ex for whatever reasons, let her know and ask her how she feels about it. If she is uncomfortable, ask her what she would suggest! But even if she says, that she is fine with it, never ever tell her you asked your ex for advice! Oh boy she will be so offended, she might not kill you right away, but you will never going to live that one down!

Never, ever slag down your ex- even if she deserves it. If a potential new partner asks what went wrong, begin with “this is my point of view and there are always two sides to a story… she might see it completely differently and I don’t want her to look bad as she is not here to defend herself…” That will give you lots of brownie points! Take my word for it! Plus it is a decent and very adult thing to do!

Don’t try too hard. If she doesn’t reply straight away, she might be busy. You, are not the centre of her world and that is okay- live with it!

Do not try to get into her knickers on the first date, unless she specifically says so! She might be the one, so plenty of time to rip of those panties!

If you think you can impress her with your bank account, think twice if you really want such a shallow person as your partner! A woman who genuinely likes you, doesn’t care about money, a sparkling car or a posh mention!

And when after all the above you really made it to first base, don’t eat her face off and fish for the remaining last dinner! A nice, slow kiss with soft lips and a little bit of tongue action is what women want! So get the lip scrub out and prepare!

And now the most important thing:

Be yourself and make her laugh! If you can make her laugh without playing the fool, you did it!

So darling ex has the most important facts and now it is up to him to score. I don’t mind helping him out as I want him to be happy.

Me? Well, I certainly didn’t look nor did I expect it, but someone special found me. I don’t want to talk about it just yet. Don’t want to jinx it. . . so stay tuned!


Just Say It

The song of your voice is always on my mind

I take one step at the time

But the sun

That once shone just for me

Seems so far away

I might never reach it

Ever again

I wish you would

Just say something

To set my heart free

As right now

It is heavy

And frozen

And unbearable

So just say it

Tell me what you desire

Is it my hands

You wish on your body

Caressing you

My lips on yours

To never stop

A voice that whispers

Sweet nothings in your ear

What do you want

What do you need

Just say it





I don’t eat

And I don’t sleep

Though there is nothing

I’d rather do but sleep

To make it to the next day

My brain is able to comprehend

But my heart is in denial

About you ever coming back

To me

Cut Off

You just cut me off

It was like ripping off

A plaster

It was fast and without warning

Only that is was

A piece of my heart

You ripped out

It will never stop bleeding

Because my piece is stored

Like a trophy on your shelf

Catching dust

And only the one

Who inflicts pain

Is able to soothe the pain

Only you are not willing

As you just cut me off

Definition Of Insanity

Half a decade later

Broken so many times

I lost count

It should hurt but it feels sweet

I just can’t fight you

It feels so right

It can’t be wrong

You keep walking with my heart


Are my safe place

Your voice in my mind gives me the best kind of goosebumps

Dancing around from my head to my toes

Your crazy has my crazy completely transfixed

Never thought I could be your

Bonnie and you my


Nothing can stop us

Sorrow and regret tries to follow

In our wake of hot mess

But we are always a step ahead

And all I can see is


And me






Cosmopolitans “First Love”

I have been a Cosmopolitan reader for many many years!

I read the German Cosmopolitan, the American (which is not really my thing, sorry) and my favourite one, the UK Cosmopolitan.

Usually I found great pleasure reading about peoples “First Love”, but lately I can’t take it serious anymore.

Just today I read the February edition and the ex couple was 20 years of age!

20! Years! Of! Age!

Please tell me, what does a 20 something know of first love?! How much experience can a still very young person have, to say, “yes, it was love, my first love!”

I thought Cosmopolitan is for every age group but it was a long time since  they interviewed ex couples past 30.

Is it, because most readers want to read about younger people? Or is it because most people past 30 are in happy (married) relationships and wouldn’t want to participate? Or is the age group all of a sudden too old? But then again, if this magazine wants to have younger followers, could said followers actually afford the very fancy and pricey products which shine back at you the second you open the glossy papers?!

Hm. I don’t know, I just find it annoying. Or does that mean, I am getting old?


Think of me

Do you ever think of me when you cross the street, the rain pouring down on you

Trying to wash away all your guilt?

Do you ever think of me when you feel so low that you want to hang your head

Hang your head because you realise you lost all hope?

Do you ever think of me when all of a sudden a gust of wind carries a sweet scent to you which reminds you of old times

Carefree times?

Do you ever think of me when you rush from one corner of the world to the other though all you really want to do is just stand still?

Do you ever think of me while searching for the right words though they are right at the tip of your tounge?

Do you ever think of me in the middle of the night

Wide awake?

I think you do

All the time

True Love (does exist)

Before I met my husband I was profoundly convinced, that “true love” doesn’t exist! Of course when I was a little girl I had the perfect vision of me being married by the time of 30, with two children and  a job I really like.

But though I’ve always been in long term relationships, I never wanted to get married, sooner or later I got the feeling that something wasn’t right and I heard this quiet voice again which said

“Is that really all? Is that it? Isn’t there more???”

Oh how I hated this little sweet devil tongued voice because it meant, I will leave. Again.

My mother used to say “When it is the right one, you will now straight away.” and that made me cringe. A lot! Even my hair on the back of my neck stood up. I just couldn’t believe such nonsense!

Yes, right, when you see him you know it! And I can tell you the future, just ask!

But with gritted teeth I have to admit, she was right!

I met my husband online on a penpal website. Actually I was done with men, as I just got dumped by a guy who wasn’t really my boyfriend but to get told he “isn’t really into it” did hurt my huge ego a lot. However. I was bored one afternoon, so I browsed some profiles and ended up on my husbands. He looked cute. So I read what he had to say and checked where he was from and it turned out, he is a squaddie and I clicked him away because I knew that most of them just want their fun.

But there was something about him so I went back on his profile. I did that around 10 times or so until I decided to send him an email. I just wanted to talk and have a laugh, I didn’t think further that we actually could meet up.

After a while he replied and we started talking and he immediately called me “honey” and “love” and I thought “who does he think he is?!” while grinning like a teenager.

We kept on chatting online and 2 or 3 days later he asked me out. He wanted to come to me by train and I agreed!

On a monday we started chatting and on a friday the same week he visited me.

I was all giddy and couldn’t stop smiling, we switched from online chatting to sms and he also phoned me once before we met.

So on a friday 13th I stood by the stairs next to a platform and looked down. I have worn a black 50s tea dress with white little dots and dark blue peep toes with a little heel, holding a dark red 50s handbag.

And than he walked up the stairs in checkered shorts, short sleeved shirt, a rucksack over one shoulder, a big grin on his lips and all I could think was

Oh my he is so cute, he is so hot!!!

After not even 4 minutes he held my hand while we walked to my car and back at my place he said “I am sorry but I have to kiss you” and he did…  We had so much fun that weekend, my cheeks where burning from grinning and laughing. And for the first time I felt completely content and relaxed and I knew! I just knew…

4 month later on the dot we got married in our favourite city Edinburgh! Sending him an email was one of the best things I ever did. We do think alike, we want the same things and have the same goals in life and a lot in common.

The little annoying voice  in my head, by the way, moved on to someone else…

So yes it is true, when it is Mr. Right, you just know!