Category: Sex

When you don’t want “it”

  1. I am so00 tired

  2. I have headache

  3. I’m on my period

  4. The dog needs to go for a walk

  5. The cat is ill

  6. The water is boiling

  7. “Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson looks really good”

  8. Are you sure you lost that much weight?!

  9. Tell me what you are thinking

  10. Last time it wasn’t such a great “performance”

  11. The children can hear us

  12. I am coming down with something

  13. I am too hungry

  14. I am too stressed

  15. Do you really love me?

  16. How much do you love me?

  17. Can the cat stay in the bed?

  18. I am feeling pressured

  19. I have to scrub the toilet first

If above mentioned hints are of non avail:

    20. F…. OFF!!!

When Men Fake IT…

Sometimes when my husband is incredible quick in bed (doesn’t happen often), I wonder for a split second, if he might just have faked it (yes, of course he gets an earful for finishing before me, tut-tut). But on second thought he is way too selfish to fake it, once he finally gets some fun. According to him, it could be more often. A lot more often. But that is a different matter.

However, when I still  get those thoughts it always reminds me of my ex. Oi, not during sex, after it of course.

My ex.… I would never have thought that men would fake it too until it actually happened to my poor soul. It probably was a hint from the universe that I should show him the door, but I just couldn’t get rid of my pink glasses I have been wearing non-stop…

Back to the topic. We where in bed…we had sex…but he wasn’t really there, didn’t put as much effort in as usual and than he started his weird sounding moans of pleasure until he was quiet and rolled over. I mean, how stupid can a man be?!

I thought “okay” went to toilet to shower and get rid of the “evidence” only that there was no “evidence”!

So I asked him straight out and with a bright red face he admitted his crime. According to him, he wasn’t really in the mood. Fair enough.

But why faking it? Let me tell you guys something:

If you are a man and you want to fake it, either you have to use a condom and hide it quickly…. or…. well I don’t know other methods…. just say you don’t want sex! I do that very often with my husband. It is very easy:

“Darling, I am not in the mood and no, nothing can change that!!!”

See, easy!