Category: Running

Funny dirty talk while running

While running through the woods today, my husband asked

“Would you like some sex?”

“No!”, I replied.

“I could beat you with my huge one”, he went on.

“Why? Do you want to knock me out with it?”, I asked…

Good to know we are still silly with each other after 6 years of being together!

Franky

I wish I was on an island…

…oh wait, I actually am on an island, ha ha ha….

No, seriously. I wish I was on an island, all by myself. Even if it was just for a while.

You know this moment when it happens and you think “island, please”?

My reason(s) to be on an island is quite simple:

I HAVE ENOUGH!

It is too much family, too much responsibility, too much of everything and unfortunately  too little money.

We are so skint at the moment, that we can only buy the food we really need, no extras like sweets or expensive gluten free products like cereals and we use the car only if we really have to to save on fuel.

The past few month we have been very stupid. Spend our money on races, recce trips, running gear, books and food. The army has forgotten to charge for the rent and stupid as we where, we didn’t think about that when we have to pay it back, they would take such big chunks of my husbands wage. . .

I am desperate for a job. I NEED a job. A second income would be perfect. BUT the fees for a full day nursery for Cash are that high, that when I calculate the fuel in, next to nothing would be left of the wage. It is said, really. You want women to be independent, but don’t offer much help when it comes to childcare!

Another thing is our teenage daughter. A PROPER  TEENAGER who is only nice and sweet outside the house and only does as she is told when she wants something.

Try to keep calm, try to keep patient, just don’t listen, I try to tell myself everyday, but it is exhausting and everyone who has teenagers at home probably knows how I feel! What ever you do, you do it wrong. When it comes to teenager, to rebellious teenager, it seems there is no right nor wrong. You just have to sit it out, wait until said teenager moves out and drives someone else mental!

And also my body. I don’t like my body at the moment. Everywhere I can feel wobbly body parts and the fact that my little daughter Cailleach comes in the bathroom squishing my bum, saying “mummy look how it is bouncing”, doesn’t help either!

Running. I didn’t do much running. Somehow I lost my running mojo. I should train, or at least go for my usual runs, but I just can’t be bothered. I am not totally lazy though. I exercise at home, but still. I need to train, as I still have 3 more races to come. One in two weeks, the other two in September…

I know, instead of whinging, I should change something. And I do, step by step, but sometimes, just sometimes I wished I was on an island, only me, myself and I.

Thoughts of today’s prompt word “island”.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/island/

Franky

Running with love handles

A few days ago, I went for a really early morning run. The sun was still shining, it was  warm, the streets and woods quite empty and my legs felt light.

Because it was so warm, I have worn nothing but a light vest and very short shorts.

Those shorts, years ago…. or was it only one or two years ago…. where not that tiny back then!!!

And though no fat was pushing its way over the rim, I could feel my love handles jiggling while I was running.

I WAS NOT HAPPY!!!

I mean, I am not fat…not even chubby. I am 154cm and weigh (currently after I already lost 1kg) 44kg. That is slim!

Unfortunately I am not the youngest metabolism wise.

Don’t get me wrong, of course I am still a spring chicken, but at a certain age, your metabolism slows down, you have to work harder to maintain your gorgeous body and also think about what you put in your mouth!

And if you don’t take care, before you even know it you wake up, look in the mirror and wonder why there is fat where once before was muscle???

Also when you had a tummy tuck many many years ago because you had very large and heavy babies, of course fat cells on your belly are gone/removed by a very kind surgeon, so the fat parade looks for another place to camp.

In my case on my hips. Why me?! I don’t need love-handle-friends!!!

I must admit, it is a bit my fault. I had too many sugary treats recently, probably didn’t work out as I should have… but because I felt really disgusted, it triggered something.

Last year I did a bit of RT4 (raw till 4) but never went fully vegan (was a veggie for over 8 ears) until now and actually I feel quite good as I eat a lot and already lost a kg.

Losing weight is not really my goal, I rather turn jingle-bingle-jiggle-parts back into muscles. I’d like to believe they are gone by the time I do the hardmoors 60 race. Also I should get my behind moving… I was a bit lazy since a marathon two weeks ago…

Now… where is my kettle bell….and the last season 2 Broke Girls? Work out is so much easier when you can watch something funny on the internet.

Franky

The “Best Friend Ad”

Though it is almost 7 years  since my best friend and me “split-up”, I still miss him.

Or maybe it is the fact that I miss a best (male) friend in general. Maybe I should mention that I prefer male best friends over females, because lets face it ladies, most of us get offensive, take things personal or I don’t know what else by things we get to hear.

I am a little exception. I don’t take things and life too serious, I am easy going, speak my mind and believe that is why the opposite sex likes to hang out with me.

However.

Recently I got asked by a runner I met a couple of month ago if we could run together as he got a bit lazy and knows that my husband and me run a lot. Or maybe he meant just my husband and just wanted to be polite not to say out loud that he doesn’t want to run with me as well. But let’s say, he meant us both.

So I got all excited, dreaming about a new best friend. Of course husband claims, there must be more to it and that I fancy him.

To get this straight:

Said runner has a girlfriend, I have a husband. So that would be a no-go!

But if I could place an ad it probably would say this:

Looking for a new best friend.

You should be:

  • Between 30 and 55 years of age.
  • Able to pay your own bills.
  • An active sports person, preferably a runner
  • Tattooed
  • Cultivated
  • Easy going and laid back attitude

You should have the same or similar interests like:

  • Reading
  • Like to go out and socialize
  • TV series and sitcoms
  • Love to spend time outdoors

You should not be:

  • A drunk
  • A smoker
  • Pitiful
  • Dishonest
  • Disrespectful/ Impolite

The look should be:

  • Slim/Well built figure
  • Casual laid back and original sense of style

I am not looking for any kind of romance! If you think you fulfill the requirements, send me an email with picture.

Phew, looks like quite some expansive ad.

Yeah, a new best friend would be more than nice, but if our “running-date” next week is just that, a running date and no further interpersonal  connection, then so be it.

But who knows maybe with a bit luck, I get/got myself a new buddy!

Franky

 

Finally ran a marathon- by accident!

Today husband and me drove to Muker to do a DT30 (Dales Trails 30km run) recce run.

We met with our friend whom we know from our weekly Saturday run in Reeth and she joined us for a couple of miles and also knew the route.

After our ways parted we made our ways armed with a description and a map towards Tann hill Inn, UK’s highest pub.

Underfoot was very wet, very muddy, very boggy, very rocky….aww very everything actually. More than once I was knee deep in mud and water!

But we made our way, we stopped a few times to take pictures, check if we are still on the right trail, have something to eat and drink.

When we reached Tan Hill Inn, it was easy. Just follow the Pennine Way back towards Muker to the waterfall. Turn left then through tiny gate. Ignore bridge, follow public footpath signs until you reach Holms Bridge/finish.

Or so we understood the description!  When we finally reached said bridge (on the way I asked some hikers if we are on the way to Muker which we were), we ran across the fields back from where we started and my running watch said what?!

26.4 miles. How could we add that much???

However. We felt great. I finally ran a marathon. Actually I thought I would feel super duper great. But all I thought was

“when I can run a marathon without feeling exhausted, surely I can run further next time I am out…”

Obviously I belong to the greedy ones, who can’t get enough. Fine with me!

But for now I have to rub a ton of tiger balm on my knee. Next weekend I am determent to run the route again!

Franky

When people around you feel sick and you try to stay healthy

Yesterday my husband said, he feels a bit sickly, a bit queasy.

All I could think of was this image which says…                                   Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiik stay away from me. I really can’t afford to catch anything! I am sorry for you, though I don’t feel really sorry (yeah, I know, selfish me)…. but please do me a favour, keep your germs to yourself!

Yesterday I made plans to run/recce the DT30 coming Sunday. For those who don’t know what that is:

It is the “Dales Trails 30km” run, starting in Muker, going up to Tan Hill Inn (Britain’s highest pub) and down along the Pennine Way back to Muker.

Also I found another runner who is willing to run with me and I don’t want to let him down! Plus I always look forward to those long runs and especially making new friends! And if I get lost in the middle of nowhere, at least I won’t be alone!

However… after I went to Holland&Barrett yesterday with hubby (he was kind enough to spend some precious quality time by walking wifey to the shop, clearly he loves me more than I love him) to get me some vegan marshmallows, which I ate straight away the second we got home, I started to feel a bit queasy myself.

AND to my horror I developed a HUGE, HUGE broccoli right under my nose! This herpes is very nasty and defaced my for once flawless face entirely!!! *sobs*

And I still feel queasy. I DON’T WANT THAT!!! So what am I going to do? I was thinking about some crackers… chickpea crackers or so… something light for the stomach.

Maybe I will cook a chicken soup. Though I was dreaming about a mushroom stroganoff, but that might be a bit too strong.

Hmmm….. decisions, decisions….maybe I should start with doing “cat-wash” and getting dressed.

Or maybe I just wake up husband to make him go to the shop for me…

Decisions, decisions… keep your fingers crossed that I will feel better soon.

Franky

My sofa and half marathons are no friends

Last Saturday I was running the Coniston 14 half marathon.

The whole week I was quite lazy on my sofa and I found 3 million excuses to not go for a run, not even a little morning stroll to school.

My ankle was still half open and therefor very sore from a previous run and I wanted it to heal-

as you can tell, another lame excuse.

However. The night before the run, I checked the route description. For some reason I thought a road run around a lake would be flat, but the route description told me otherwise. I should have  known since it was in Cumbria.

“…first 5 miles uphill…” Wonderful… Well, how bad could it be? I will be a bit out of breath for the first 30 minutes and then be fine, or so I thought

Pah, yeah that was a nice dream. The reality was different:

When I started to run, I was out of breath. And at some point, I wondered when these 5 miles finally end, as after that it was said, it would be more even. Fair enough it was even, for maybes 2 miles or so.

After that it was constantly up and down, up and down AND when I spotted the 8 mile sign, I got angry as I was very certain, that I already passed said sign!

On I went. The landscape was really beautiful, unfortunately the other runners seem just to run on their own. No one chatted to each other and when I tried to talk to another lady who was running next to me, she just stared straight ahead. “Don’t then”, I thought.

Near the end all of a sudden was another huge mocking sign which said

“Half Marathon Distance”. They just topped 2 more miles . How cheeky is that?!

During this run, I had to

  • walk the hills
  • tie my shoe again
  • walk to drink and eat (didn’t figure out how to do it at the same time, yet)
  • shake my hands out, as they where so swollen (due to a new drink), my fingers looked like sausages
  • burst a huge blood blister after the run

Now all I have to deal with, is a very hurting toe nail, which high likely will fall off. Well that happens, when you wear no proper shoes.

Things I learned:

  • Try new sport drinks before a big event
  • Run at least one long run with your preferred  running shoes
  • Run at least once or twice before a race
  • Never underestimate a road run

Franky