Category: Mood

Think of me

Do you ever think of me when you cross the street, the rain pouring down on you

Trying to wash away all your guilt?

Do you ever think of me when you feel so low that you want to hang your head

Hang your head because you realise you lost all hope?

Do you ever think of me when all of a sudden a gust of wind carries a sweet scent to you which reminds you of old times

Carefree times?

Do you ever think of me when you rush from one corner of the world to the other though all you really want to do is just stand still?

Do you ever think of me while searching for the right words though they are right at the tip of your tounge?

Do you ever think of me in the middle of the night

Wide awake?

I think you do

All the time

Hot Toddy

Screw Day and Night Nurse, doesn’t matter wether it is the liquid form or tablets, my new remedy when it comes to the first symptoms of a cold or flu is a good old Hot Toddy!

Recently I was googling remedies when I woke up with a scratchy throat, stinging eyes and slightly blocked nose, not to mention the throbbing head.

And I knew what is to come. Every, yes every single time when it starts like that, I know I will suffer from a very bad sinus infection which lasts me weeks and sometimes even ends with antibiotics as it gets so bad, all I want is to bang my head against the wall before someone who is compassionate enough comes round to shoot me! Yes, THAT bad!

So when those little nasty bactarials started to nest inside me, I thought

No, not again! I can’t afford to fall sick when I just started a new job. I need this job, I need the money.

So I came across the Hot Toddy recipe:

  • Hot water
  • Freshly pressed lemon juice
  • Honey (Since I am a vegan, I use Mable syrup to sweeten up)
  • And the best: WHISKY

I am a big fan of whisky….. oh I sound like a drunk, but no, ladies and gentlemen, I can count the drinks I have per year on one hand!

So I brewed my concoction and it was oh so tasty! And the next day I already felt a bit better. I had two more drinks over the next two days and viola, I was as good as new!

Yesterday my husband was still in his bathrobe when I got back from work, feeling sick, so I suggested to brew him one as well.

When it comes to food or drinks he doesn’t like he is like a cat you try to bath. Really hard work but in the end he gulped it down (he doesn’t like whisky at all) and had one more later in the evening and again, he felt much better today!

Hot Toddy, you are my new best medicine friend.

What better excuse to have whisky?!

Franky

Worst

The blue in your eyes became a storm

And the fierce fire that has burned within you

Is snuffed out by sheer madness

While your body is violently trembling like a leaf

 

Shaking from a lovers fading touch

Your flesh still burning

From the remaining bits of love

A distinct scent kisses your shoulder

And endless memories are pumping through your veins

 

The hollow reflection that stares back at you

From a sea of sadness

Tells you to keep on breathing

Breathing breathing

 

Gone is the ones so bright light

Replaced by never ending dark nightmares

Enveloping you like a cozy blanket

 

Though my eyes  have seen it all

And my body felt it

I don’t know fear

Not anymore

Appreciation

I came to realize that I did not appreciate many precious moments I experienced!

When my teenagers where little, all I wished for was them to grow up a bit faster to be more independent.

I felt tired all the time, and every day was just a rush. Rushing to kindergarten, rushing to school, rushing to work…

And before I knew it, my babies turned into teenagers… literally in a blink of an eye and what did I do? I did it again:

When I clashed, as so many times, with my teenage daughter, I wished for her to be older so that she could move out and live her own life.

That is an awful thing to do!

I should have tried to spend more time with them, should have cuddled them more and told them, how much I loved them, I should have surprised them more often with little things or picnics. I should have done that every single day until now and every day coming!

If we are lucky, children live at home for 18, maybe 22… or even 25 years and compared to a (hopefully) long life, that is nothing! Nothing!!! It is such a short time you get to spend with them.

If you are lucky, they love you enough to phone and visit you on a regular basis. And if you are really, really lucky, they even live close by, so that you also get to see your grand-babies!!!

SIGH…. big SIGH….

When I was not working because the children where too little, all I did was complaining because I didn’t get to go out of the house. Complaining how bored and isolated I felt.

Instead I should have been happy about the fact, that I am actually be able to spend so much time with my children, get to sleep more and do what ever I want.

And I know I should show my husband more affection. I know I should miss him when he is away because one day, he might not be around anymore and I might regret my (non-) actions.

In this case it is not funny how my perception has worked out for me. No, it is rather sad.

But this is life and life never goes the way we want it to.

Guess, I keep on trying, trying to be the best mom and wife I can be. Trying to make it better and trying to make the best of life.

Franky

Wordpress- the gym membership

Yesterday I realized, that WordPress has become my gym membership.

Some people sign gym memberships and after some time, they just don’t turn up anymore but keep on paying!

That is exactly me at the  moment!

I went from posting a couple of times per week, to every once in a while, which I think is bad!

But I guess I just don’t have much to say…. or maybe I have something to say, but don’t find the time because I am too exhausted or have 3 million other things to do which have priority!

Maybe I should call it a day….

Or maybe I should call life a day!!!

Franky

It’s my time of the year!!!

Yeah, what can I say? Finally, F.i.n.a.l.l.y…. the summer is over, my summer blues gone and winter is fast approaching.

Other might find the darker hours spooky, but to me, it is pure heaven, it gives me some sort of comfort like a warm blanket…. does that sound weird? Am I a weirdo?! Ah who cares?!

I could dance with joy!

Now  that it is getting colder, gloomier and foggier, not to forget  getting darker earlier and earlier, I am getting in the mood…. in the mood for running!

Actually I just wanted to get some time off running. Usually that lasts for a maximum of one month, but this time I haven’t been running since February.

Yes, you read right:

FEBRUARY!!!

And the shocking part:

I did not even miss it, nor did I dread or push myself or even feel bad about not running.

I was just too tired, because I started later and later in the evening work. And while other colleagues are/where able to have a sleep in, I have to get up in the morning to get the babies to school, have a nap during lunch (if I am lucky and my youngest sleeps as well) and when I would have a bit time in the afternoon, I have Cash to look after.

But this week I am off work and next week are school holidays which means, I could run this week in the morning after dropping off Cash in his nursery and I can run next week all day before work.

So I am keeping my hopes up for dry weather to ease myself back into running and also hope the best regarding my knees who are always playing up after such long abstinence.

I am looking forward to running around the DT20 route in Reeth and my all time favourite DT30 in Muker up to Tan Hill Inn.

So fingers crossed that my weight training (yes, my dearest readers, I wasn’t all lazy) was a good built up for my legs.

Franky