Category: Money

Dating Advice For The Ex

It is really funny how my life turned out. I didn’t see myself separating after 10 years of marriage, doing the conscious uncoupling thing and lastly giving my ex dating advice.

Darling ex was married twice before he met me, so really he was never alone and always in longterm relationships. Which means he has no clue when it comes to dating.

How to be flirty? What to say? What not to say? What is appropriate? When to ask to exchange numbers? When to initiate the first date?

So many questions…. the list goes on and on.

However, darling ex told me the other day, he is talking to a lady. At some point he messaged her something he shouldn’t have. So to rescue him from being dumped before it even begins, I told him how to save his backside.

Gentlemen, let me tell what women would want to hear. At least from my point of view:

Be straight with them! Honesty is the best medicine as women are sneaky detectives. If they want to find something out, they will and if they don’t like it, aaaaaall hell will break lose!

Also, tell them what you want from a relationship, but only the important basics. We don’t want to know your whole story!

And if you are just out of a relationship, but still friends with your ex for whatever reasons, let her know and ask her how she feels about it. If she is uncomfortable, ask her what she would suggest! But even if she says, that she is fine with it, never ever tell her you asked your ex for advice! Oh boy she will be so offended, she might not kill you right away, but you will never going to live that one down!

Never, ever slag down your ex- even if she deserves it. If a potential new partner asks what went wrong, begin with “this is my point of view and there are always two sides to a story… she might see it completely differently and I don’t want her to look bad as she is not here to defend herself…” That will give you lots of brownie points! Take my word for it! Plus it is a decent and very adult thing to do!

Don’t try too hard. If she doesn’t reply straight away, she might be busy. You, are not the centre of her world and that is okay- live with it!

Do not try to get into her knickers on the first date, unless she specifically says so! She might be the one, so plenty of time to rip of those panties!

If you think you can impress her with your bank account, think twice if you really want such a shallow person as your partner! A woman who genuinely likes you, doesn’t care about money, a sparkling car or a posh mention!

And when after all the above you really made it to first base, don’t eat her face off and fish for the remaining last dinner! A nice, slow kiss with soft lips and a little bit of tongue action is what women want! So get the lip scrub out and prepare!

And now the most important thing:

Be yourself and make her laugh! If you can make her laugh without playing the fool, you did it!

So darling ex has the most important facts and now it is up to him to score. I don’t mind helping him out as I want him to be happy.

Me? Well, I certainly didn’t look nor did I expect it, but someone special found me. I don’t want to talk about it just yet. Don’t want to jinx it. . . so stay tuned!

Franky

When Is The Right Time To Move Out???

Though our separation is still quite fresh, darling ex and me where talking about moving house. Not that he wants me to move house or is rushing me. Not at all. But we both know, we can’t live under one roof forever, especially when we start dating again.

But when is the right time to move out and separate the family?

Where will I go?

Will I find somewhere affordable? Will it be a nice area?

How far away will I move?

Will I buy or rent? And if I rent, will I be able to take my kitties? And if I plan to buy (which I would prefer), would I be granted a mortgage???

How sad will my babies be to “live” in two places from now on?

Will I find work in the area?

The last one is the most important one! Since I want to go up north, how are the chances to find a job nearby my new place and will it be manageable with the children and school???

Will my darling ex, the babies and me, still be a tight knitted team?

Can I even afford to move, as in new furniture etc. At the current moment the answer would be “no”.

So many questions, so little answers…

Franky

Denial

I don’t eat

And I don’t sleep

Though there is nothing

I’d rather do but sleep

To make it to the next day

My brain is able to comprehend

But my heart is in denial

About you ever coming back

To me

Assassin

Like many of us, I love the rather new series “Killing Eve”! And (like Eve) I wonder:

How does the mind of an assassin work? What does it take to kill someone? How do you become an assassin?

Do you have to have a twisted mind, a bad childhood, lots of rage boiling inside of you in order to be a contract killer? Do they have multiple personalities?

Do assassins think about their job as just a job like every other? Is it financial motivation or just the joy to kill? Or is it the joy of planning, being focused and strategic?

Do they want to know things about their target or do they just follow instructions and orders without any emotions whatsoever?

And when they executed the mission, do they think about it afterwards? I wonder if an assassin regrets and feels remorse or if they really truly just see it as a job done?

And if an assassin has family- how do they conceal what he/she is doing? Does the family know?

Guess I will never know as I don’t know any assassins or at least I don’t think I do!

As for me, I don’t think I would be able to do it. I probably would make it private and would want to know things about my target. Considering if it is worth the kill, the money and whether my target deserves to die. Than again, who am I to decide whether someone lives or not?

Though on the other hand I would like to believe that I would see it as “just a job” and that I would be able to differentiate or shut down my personal feelings since I am a pragmatic person…

But we will never know all the real answers to my questions and musings…

Franky

Kitty Is Pregnant

Finally, finally my sweet kitty Belle is pregnant! For month her mate tried. And nothing. Every two weeks she was in heat. Do you know how loud Siamese cats can be when they are in heat? Normal cats are pretty loud already, but she?! It’s deafening!!!

I think for at least 5 month Blue got his leg over- he was a very lucky furry guy! Now all he is is frustrated as now Belle is growling at him whenever he tries to mount her. Poor boy, but he will survive!

By the end of May or early June we should have sweet cute little Siamese. We already decided we will keep one of them, depending of how many there are.

But I can’t decide what colour. They will be either blue point which really looks like a mix of white and grey and seal point which is a mix of cream and dark brown. The older Siamese get the darker they turn and when they are born they are all white. Belle is a slim elegant seal point girl and Blue is a blue point chubby boy but his eyes… oh so big and deep blue! Both very affectionate, though Belle only likes to get stroked on her back when she comes to sit on your lap. Blue? He loves a full body massage 24/7!

As you can see, I can’t stop gushing and since I am such a nice person and have nothing better to do right now, I thought I let you all know!

If I wouldn’t find it cruel to breed cats non stop, I would supply all of north Scotland with Siamese. Firstly to keep the breed alive and strong and secondly to have a drop in the price as in average a Siamese costs around +£300,-. I always wonder why? Why do pedigree cats have to be more expansive than domestic house cats? Food, toys, vet- it’s all the same price! Insurance may vary but even that is not much higher. And if the purchase costs of pedigree cats would be lower or the same as domestic house cats, I believe the crime rate in regards to abductions would go down- why abduct a kitty when you can (finally) afford one yourself? You see: It would be a win-win situation!

 And here are my sweet kitties Blue and Belle aka Bluebell

 

Franky

Women’s Business Clothes

Today I was reading one of my 5 gossip magazines. Yes, occasionally… okay let me rephrase that: Once per month I feel the need to buy a couple of magazines (Cosmopolitan is a monthly must-have) to read about gossip, get the latest info about exercise and gadgets and health and look at eye watering expansive clothes I probably never be able to afford!

There you go!

So back to what I wanted to write about in the first place:

In “Grazia” was an Artikel about women’s business clothes from a lady which name I can’t remember. She is high in finance business but her wardrobe….. well…. how to put it to not offend the good lady which I reckon is in her late 40s…. hmmmm…..

Dull? Boring? Frumpy? Probably all together!

Okay, she works in finance and you should look the part, but the way she wore the clothes made her at least 10 years older. I found it boring and am sure I am not the only one.

What would I give to see her in a Fred Perry dress, ha ha ha. Or in this beautiful pink long floaty Me&Em dress (I am waiting desperately for a reduction as I don’t want to cough up £350,- but it is so so pretty, you look like a big yummy candy).

No really! I think if we wouldn’t take us all so serious, even in such a demanding job, we would be more open minded when it comes to appearance.

There, said it all.

Franky

Being High Maintenance

Recently I came across a blog where the person found it offensive to be called

“High Maintenance”.

I freely admit that I am a high maintenance sort of woman. And why not? There is nothing wrong with that, if you ask me.

When you google high maintenance it will show you the following:

A high maintenance person will require a lot of attention, time, money and/or effort!

Of course a person like me requires a lot attention. The key here is the right kind of attention in a specific time frame. If I call you, and you must be special in order for me to do so, pick up- after the first ring, please! When I am about to meet you, do yourself a favour, hang on to your life and be on time!!! When I want to go for a run, do join me, it will be fun- at least for me and that is the most important thing, right?!

And yes, I do invest in my body first. I like to look nice! And you like it when I do, right?

I shave, plug, trim, exfoliate and pamper myself with the best tools and ingredients on the market. Why? Because I can! Because I want to!

And if you want to brighten my day, show up with a single flower (I prefer sunflowers), a bottle of whiskey and polished shoes. Thank you very much and yes, that is necessary!

You might not be able to give what I desire? “Heck, where there’s a way, there’s a will”, she says, pouting.

You want to stay in my life long-term? Darling the answer is as easy as breathing:

All I want for you is to reach for the brightest star on a clear night and serve it to me on a silver plate! I won’t settle for less! And once I got that star, there is no stopping me- I always aim for more. Of course I do!

What you get in return?!?

The best wicked person I can possibly be! Friend or foe- you will love me!

Franky

Cosmopolitans “First Love”

I have been a Cosmopolitan reader for many many years!

I read the German Cosmopolitan, the American (which is not really my thing, sorry) and my favourite one, the UK Cosmopolitan.

Usually I found great pleasure reading about peoples “First Love”, but lately I can’t take it serious anymore.

Just today I read the February edition and the ex couple was 20 years of age!

20! Years! Of! Age!

Please tell me, what does a 20 something know of first love?! How much experience can a still very young person have, to say, “yes, it was love, my first love!”

I thought Cosmopolitan is for every age group but it was a long time since  they interviewed ex couples past 30.

Is it, because most readers want to read about younger people? Or is it because most people past 30 are in happy (married) relationships and wouldn’t want to participate? Or is the age group all of a sudden too old? But then again, if this magazine wants to have younger followers, could said followers actually afford the very fancy and pricey products which shine back at you the second you open the glossy papers?!

Hm. I don’t know, I just find it annoying. Or does that mean, I am getting old?

Franky

A year after our house-buy

This month a year ago, we bought our lovely cottage here in good old Scotland.

What I didn’t know back then is that I don’t need my own home to be happy!

I also didn’t know that I would find it so hard to stay, to be rooted at one spot…. I keep on searching for nicer spots to live, my roots keep on telling me, that this might not be it!

A year ago all we had in mind was to buy a house in a lovely area and get rid of the spider infested (they where gigantic!!!) cottage we rented in a not so nice area.

We didn’t really think it all through. At least not properly.

Now I know that it isn’t that bad to live in the middle of nowhere, that there will be school buses/taxis for pupils and that when you are sick and bed ridden or older, the doctor will come out to you! And when their is no village store, you think twice if you really have to drive to the next store for a purchase or if you just cook something from scratch and therefor even save money!

Lets face it, food stores, post office, doctors is nothing but a luxury but you don’t really need it to survive, do you? It’s convenient, I totally agree.

Though our small town has only a population of around 2000, I still find it way to crowded, especially in summer when all the tourists are passing through…

When I was running this morning up to the waterfalls and further up the mountains, hitting snow, there was a lovely cottage on the way. Tucked away from roads with mountain and field views. Now that is what I would prefer. I could let me cats out, not worrying if someone might try to steal them (they are Siamese) or whether they could get hit by a car.

Though we knew how much we could borrow, we really shouldn’t have! We should have settled for a cheaper house! Sooner or later we would have found one!

Now that my husband was made redundant (cost cutting) and me job hunting as well, the money is very tight and soon gone which is frightening!

So whoever is out there, ask yourself the following:

Do I really need shops, doctors, schools, bus and/or train connection?

Is this the area I really want to settle?

Is this the house I can see myself grow old in and can I really afford and maintain it?

Think about the “what if’s”…

If everything ticks your boxes, go for it, if there is even one box where you would have to compromise, I personally would say, “no”, but that is up to you, of course!

As for me, I know better times will come, maybe even another house, I just keep going and make the best out of it!

Franky

Don’t Let Them Dictate Your Looks!!!

Ever came across an employer who did not like the way you look?

I did! More than once!

Usually I did everything possible to please my bosses. In my case the culprit are my tattoos.

My arms, back, neck and chest are covered but I am still able to hide it under clothes.

When I worked for airports at the check-in and gates I had to wear long sleeved blouses and wear dark tights as I am also tattooed on one leg. I was happy to cover up as despite the bad payment I loved this job!

Every time I go for a job interview I make sure to wear long sleeves and have my hair open so you can’t really see anything.

For 8 months I worked for a very famous 5* hotel here in Scotland. During my induction week we were told, that visible tattoos are no problems as the hotel wants to loosen up.

But 4 months into my job I had several discussions with supervisors etc. about my neck tattoos. In the end the call came from high up, from a person who never even talked to me himself…. he wanted me banned to the back of house, out of guests view! Or to cover my tattoos with plasters. No guest ever said anything, but yes, of course I put a plaster all around my neck! Not that it is unhealthy…. or warm… or itchy….

Instead I cut off my hair so I could wear it without a hair bubble. Yes! That’s what I did. I CUT MY HAIR!!!

But you know what? I am sick of people reducing me to my tattoos!

So many people scream for equality, same wages, acceptance of all sexes, religions, colours, races and so much more.

Everyone wishes to live in a world where people respect each other, so why not tolerate people with more than one tattoo?

If heavily tattooed people keep on hiding their art, they will never get the desired position no matter how suitable they might be. No one will see beyond the colour. No one will see the talented the person.

So I am saying no and stand up for myself. I am a hard worker and if others can’t see that, than they are not the right fit!

Guess there will be a couple of trips to the tattoo shop very soon.

Franky