Category: Money

A year after our house-buy

This month a year ago, we bought our lovely cottage here in good old Scotland.

What I didn’t know back then is that I don’t need my own home to be happy!

I also didn’t know that I would find it so hard to stay, to be rooted at one spot…. I keep on searching for nicer spots to live, my roots keep on telling me, that this might not be it!

A year ago all we had in mind was to buy a house in a lovely area and get rid of the spider infested (they where gigantic!!!) cottage we rented in a not so nice area.

We didn’t really think it all through. At least not properly.

Now I know that it isn’t that bad to live in the middle of nowhere, that there will be school buses/taxis for pupils and that when you are sick and bed ridden or older, the doctor will come out to you! And when their is no village store, you think twice if you really have to drive to the next store for a purchase or if you just cook something from scratch and therefor even save money!

Lets face it, food stores, post office, doctors is nothing but a luxury but you don’t really need it to survive, do you? It’s convenient, I totally agree.

Though our small town has only a population of around 2000, I still find it way to crowded, especially in summer when all the tourists are passing through…

When I was running this morning up to the waterfalls and further up the mountains, hitting snow, there was a lovely cottage on the way. Tucked away from roads with mountain and field views. Now that is what I would prefer. I could let me cats out, not worrying if someone might try to steal them (they are Siamese) or whether they could get hit by a car.

Though we knew how much we could borrow, we really shouldn’t have! We should have settled for a cheaper house! Sooner or later we would have found one!

Now that my husband was made redundant (cost cutting) and me job hunting as well, the money is very tight and soon gone which is frightening!

So whoever is out there, ask yourself the following:

Do I really need shops, doctors, schools, bus and/or train connection?

Is this the area I really want to settle?

Is this the house I can see myself grow old in and can I really afford and maintain it?

Think about the “what if’s”…

If everything ticks your boxes, go for it, if there is even one box where you would have to compromise, I personally would say, “no”, but that is up to you, of course!

As for me, I know better times will come, maybe even another house, I just keep going and make the best out of it!

Franky

Don’t Let Them Dictate Your Looks!!!

Ever came across an employer who did not like the way you look?

I did! More than once!

Usually I did everything possible to please my bosses. In my case the culprit are my tattoos.

My arms, back, neck and chest are covered but I am still able to hide it under clothes.

When I worked for airports at the check-in and gates I had to wear long sleeved blouses and wear dark tights as I am also tattooed on one leg. I was happy to cover up as despite the bad payment I loved this job!

Every time I go for a job interview I make sure to wear long sleeves and have my hair open so you can’t really see anything.

For 8 months I worked for a very famous 5* hotel here in Scotland. During my induction week we were told, that visible tattoos are no problems as the hotel wants to loosen up.

But 4 months into my job I had several discussions with supervisors etc. about my neck tattoos. In the end the call came from high up, from a person who never even talked to me himself…. he wanted me banned to the back of house, out of guests view! Or to cover my tattoos with plasters. No guest ever said anything, but yes, of course I put a plaster all around my neck! Not that it is unhealthy…. or warm… or itchy….

Instead I cut off my hair so I could wear it without a hair bubble. Yes! That’s what I did. I CUT MY HAIR!!!

But you know what? I am sick of people reducing me to my tattoos!

So many people scream for equality, same wages, acceptance of all sexes, religions, colours, races and so much more.

Everyone wishes to live in a world where people respect each other, so why not tolerate people with more than one tattoo?

If heavily tattooed people keep on hiding their art, they will never get the desired position no matter how suitable they might be. No one will see beyond the colour. No one will see the talented the person.

So I am saying no and stand up for myself. I am a hard worker and if others can’t see that, than they are not the right fit!

Guess there will be a couple of trips to the tattoo shop very soon.

Franky

 

Perception of Joker

Yesterday hubby and me watched the new ‘Joker’ movie and it was great and sad and disturbing and I could identify with the character in so many ways…

Many of us have seen ‘Joker’ movies before and in general the character of the ‘Joker” is a mental person, a twisted one, an evil persona or so it seems on the first look.

When I watched the movie the person I have seen was a deeply sad person. A man who felt invisible to society, to people around him, to women to everyone really. I felt that people would look down at him, laugh at him and no matter how hard he would try, it would never seem enough to be accepted or appreciated or just be honest with him!

How many of you felt that way before? How many of you felt alone? How many of you thought, you are not good enough…. at work, at relationships, friendships….? How many of you felt mistreated? How many of you felt unloved and not pretty enough only because you do things different or think in an unconventional way? How often have you thought, you will never be better or overcome your ‘working class status’?

In today’s world people look at you and judge you in the first few seconds, they make up their mind without putting the effort in, in getting to know you. What for a sad sad thing to do, I hang my head in shame for everyone who acts this way!

Nowadays the first reaction when people hear that someone has mental health problems like bipolar or a form of schizophrenia, ADHS, anxiety and lots of other things is disgust or comments like “they should get their act together”! Why not show a bit compassion, why not ask the person next to you how he/she is doing? Why not ask yourself if you yourself is right in the head? Aren’t we all a bit mental? Don’t we all have problems? For some their problems might be nothing major, for others it might be the end of the world….

So here I sit now, reminiscing…. and let me tell you the following:

I don’t know you, I don’t know your story but I know you are out there and I feel for you! It might not be today or tomorrow, but the day will come where you see the light in the end of the tunnel and you will feel better! And whoever tries to tell you, you are not right or not good enough, do not listen to them! You are unique and perfect in every way and you are loved and you will be cherished! You might not know it now or not have found the one just yet, but there is someone who can’t wait to meet you and give you what you are looking for and what you deserve! Don’t forget to breathe, do smile, do laugh and make the best of life as you deserve nothing but the best!

Do not give up, ever!

Franky

 

 

Moving to Dublin

In my last post I mentioned, that I moved to Dublin.

Well I received a job offer for a post in Dublin. If I wanted it, I would have to move within 2 weeks to Ireland.

Of course I wanted this job!!! So I quit my old job and since I was still on probation, they couldn’t say anything regarding my sudden notice! They basically bit their own arse by treating me this way and now being short of staff…

As I was saying… oh yes:

I quit my job, found myself a very expansive room, booked a one way flight and not even a week later I was gone.

The plan was that the whole family would relocate to Ireland as my husband had a job interview as well…

I started my new position and the job itself was okay, nothing special, but the wage and the package that came with it was very appealing.

But as for Dublin itself:

No offence, dear Dubliners and everyone who grew fond of Dublin, it is not for me!

My assumption was, that people who lived there are either very rich or very poor and that you would only go to Dublin for work. Work either to get richer or purely to try to survive.

I mean, I booked a room in a landlords house for €850,- per month! And though the landlords where lovely, their house was filthy! Toenails on the living room floor, kitchen tiles, floors and jalousie caked with fats, huge full ashtrays all over the place and 24/7 smoking in all rooms with closed windows. What a delight.

I was viewing other properties closer to my work location for €450,- per month but one of the rooms for example, was shared with 3 (!) other girls without a proper cupboard or opportunity to hang up your clothes…. Sheer madness!

And it seemed to me, that there where more foreigners in Dublin than Irish. And I didn’t like the city at all, there was not much nice architecture, not much greenery or maybe it is because I am spoiled by Edinburgh and it’s beauty.

Also, I was constantly on my own. Even during my lunch breaks as my two new lovely colleagues had other lunch schedules.

I have been living in Scotland for a year now and I love running here in the mountains…. I thought we could do much better, find a better job, better opportunities….

But the reality is, you have to loose something in order to realise how much you miss it.

In my case:

I just missed my family and Scotland.

So one morning when I was packing my things to move to another room, I thought:

I am constantly on my own, the people around me at work are so loud, I can barely concentrate, I hate all this tarmac and the hectic of this city, my children are crying after me, my husband missing me as well-

It’s not worth it! I quit!

So I phoned up my husband and said “how would you find it, if I just quit my job and come home?”

And that’s what I did! Without further hesitation I cancelled the new room, emailed my notice and booked the next flight back home.

Yes, we lost money and it was probably stupid to quit a job without having a new one but you know what?

You can’t buy happiness and where is the point dragging yourself to a job you don’t fully enjoy in an area you dislike so much?

But I needed to do this as otherwise I would have always asked myself ‘what if?’

I’d rather spend my time playing house wife, taking care of everyone and everything, but hey how, news, we need the money!

So I applied for some jobs and just wait and see what happens.

Franky

Parenthood is so hard…

I have been a parent for almost 18 years now. Longer if you count the pregnancy as well.

When my first born arrived it felt just right. I loved my son straight away despite the fact that he looked like a very red spotty beetle. Motherly love, eh?

When my second one arrived 1 year and 5 month later it was love again, not at (first) sight as she looked like a sumo wrestler baby but fortunately she outgrew that very quickly.

Having them both together was fun and for a long time it was only us, the three musketeers. We had our routine and were happy. But it was also very exhausting and there were days when I had to lock myself in the bathroom for a couple of minutes for a good cry….

Than 10 years later a second beloved daughter arrived and oh she was perfect! I had given up on the fact that when my children are born they have to grow into beautiful individuals but she, my Cailleach, was perfect!

Two years after Cailleach our second son arrived 6 weeks premature but strong and healthy given the circumstances and also so handsome!

Thinking I was exhausted when I had the first two, I can only laugh! Never had I such ferocious dark baggy circles under my eyes which on a daily basis said hello to my knees! I even cried from sleep deprivation as the two little monsters wanted nothing but mommies boobies and arms to be held 24/7 for over a year from the time they arrived.

But if you think toddlerhood is exhausting, wait until you have teenagers. Female teenagers to be precise.

They can be so stubborn, they have their own mind and ways and that is totally fine- as long you don’t live under one roof!

They can be so incredibly lazy that you want to pull your hair out or better theirs and only help around the house if you

a) threaten

or

b) pay them

or

c) well they usually don’t even blink an eyelash when it comes to help out anyway….

I know I should be more considerate, I should just let them be, but the thing is:

My 7 year old daughter is already developing the same attitude! SHE IS 7!!! And I just can’t have another one of this type! It is just too much with everything else going on like paying off a house, finding a proper job that makes me happy with a good wage, getting my garden done (spend hours so far gardening), trying to get the rest of my house done, trying to figure out how to pay for all this….

At the moment I just want peace and quiet. I don’t want to feel sad and tired and puzzled trying to figure out what to do and how to survive another day!

In an ideal world I would come home from a job I love to find my house clean and tidy.

In an ideal world I would be able to make breakfast and cook.

In an ideal world I wouldn’t have to worry about my children’s homework and education.

But this is not an ideal world.

I wished I could stop being a mum, just for a bit, to be able to breath and take care of myself…

I wished it would get easier, but it never does.

But we keep on marching and we keep on loving.

Franky

Orkney or Cork???

Last week I applied for at least 3 vacancies on beautiful Orkney island, mainland.

Yes I know, we just bought a house and I was lucky enough to finally find a job near where I live now….

If there wasn’t a BUT!

But, two things:

  1. There is not much more to achieve for me… I think… on the other hand, I could stick it out until another position as retreat manager or similar will open internally…. But I don’t think I want to work for the rest of my life in a retreat, managing a café and checking guests in and out… Don’t get me wrong, the location, my colleagues and the guests are all lovely…but:
  2. The wage I earn is not enough to provide for my family in case my husband would lose his job or even worse.

And after all we wanted to go Orkney anyway. No, let me rephrase that: I wanted us to go to Orkney! So here is me thinking, searching desperately for a job I love, where I can achieve more skills and where I finally finally settle, happy as Larry!

But it feels as if nobody wants to give me a chance. I apply for jobs but get one rejection after the other and it is very difficult to remain in my Franky-Everything-Will-Be-Alright-Bubble!

My husband says, all you need is the one person who believes in you and gives you a chance to prove yourself! Well it would be nice if that person would turn up!

And now another bomb which could change everything again:

My husband told me yesterday evening all nonchalantly that he applied for some vacancies in, and now here it comes, Ireland! Yes, Ireland!

How exciting is that???

So it might be my husband who moves away for a better job and not me.

However, I will keep you updated!

Franky

Job OCD???

I recently discovered that I probably might have JOB-OCD, if there is such a thing that is!

Maybe you think it might be job hopping, but no, no no I don’t believe it is job hopping.

What I mean is, that whenever I achieved everything there is to achieve, my brain feels as if it is shrinking, followed by the need to want to gain more skills.

In order to gain more skills, I have to look for another job, a different job, a job with perspective or a job where I can progress for a higher position.

There must be a way to find a good paid job which I fully enjoy because there is so much new to learn.

I think that’s why I loved my job at the airport, working as a check-in agent. The wage wasn’t the greatest, but until I left (I got married and moved away) I was taught 3 different check-in systems for different airlines and intern was the possibility to switch to another department and I would have loved to be at the back-office, keeping an eye on all the flights and everything that comes with it.

So yes, I MUST have JOB-OCD, a never-ending thirst for new knowledge!

I wonder if you can cure this with medication….?

Awww the right job will come along sooner or later. Let’s hope sooner than later!

 

Franky