Category: Men

I am not a”we”-person!!!

A couple of days ago my husband got quite frustrated with me. We where kind of arguing and he said something like

“why can’t I get through these walls?”

I heard this before. At some point, people get annoyed, angry or frustrated and say thinks like

“You just shut down”…..”why can’t I get through to you?”…. “your walls are so thick there is no way to break through”….

Sigh…. yes, I know that. But there is a reason for that!

Why do we built walls? Walls are there to protect.

And I am my own person!

I never wanted to get married, or maybe back then I have given up the hope of ever getting married because I just didn’t find love, real love, not just a “crush”.

When I met my husband and new I will spend the rest of my life with him, I have given up a lot.

I have given up my wild days…. given up to go on dates (well, you should do that if you are in a mutual monogamous  relationship), given up to just book the next flight to see your bestie, given up to go out with friends and come home whenever you please…

And that is okay! Really!

What I did not sign up for is the “we”-part! I do not want, never was in the past and never will dissolve in a

“we don’t agree”, “we had so much fun at yours”, “we will think about it”, “did you like the pictures we posted (of course on his Facebook page as well!!!)?” –

sort of person.

I have my own mind, my own thoughts and the walls, the last remaining piece of me, is my sanctuary! The place no one ever will be aloud to enter!

I just need this. I don’t want to share this as well, that is a piece of me, who makes me, me. And I have to protect these walls!

I think everyone who is in a long-term relationship or simply likes some kind of self-protection knows what I am talking about.

We just don’t want to get hurt and/or to disappear. We want to remain true  because we are proud of the person who stares back at you in the mirror!

If you are comfortable with it, let your guard down, but keep a remaining bit of wall just to yourself, no matter what others might say!

Franky

Funny dirty talk while running

While running through the woods today, my husband asked

“Would you like some sex?”

“No!”, I replied.

“I could beat you with my huge one”, he went on.

“Why? Do you want to knock me out with it?”, I asked…

Good to know we are still silly with each other after 6 years of being together!

Franky

Forbidden

Confession:

In my “wild days”, before I got married, I had a “friend with benefits” which lasted 13 years! Yes, you got that right!

13 YEARS!!! And we even managed to keep it hidden!

Now I can hear you say

We live in a modern world, “friends with benefits” are a common thing. True!

BUT

you should know, both, him and me, where always in  relationships when we used to meet! Though when “it” happened, I used to end my relationships as I didn’t want to cheat or keep on cheating whereas he remained in his.

Of course it was forbidden to meet, to phone and text each other on a regular basis! It was oh so naughty and that’s why it was so much fun… Forbidden? Pfffff…. really? Explain forbidden, please!

Thoughts on the one prompt word “Forbidden”.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/forbidden/

Franky

The “Best Friend Ad”

Though it is almost 7 years  since my best friend and me “split-up”, I still miss him.

Or maybe it is the fact that I miss a best (male) friend in general. Maybe I should mention that I prefer male best friends over females, because lets face it ladies, most of us get offensive, take things personal or I don’t know what else by things we get to hear.

I am a little exception. I don’t take things and life too serious, I am easy going, speak my mind and believe that is why the opposite sex likes to hang out with me.

However.

Recently I got asked by a runner I met a couple of month ago if we could run together as he got a bit lazy and knows that my husband and me run a lot. Or maybe he meant just my husband and just wanted to be polite not to say out loud that he doesn’t want to run with me as well. But let’s say, he meant us both.

So I got all excited, dreaming about a new best friend. Of course husband claims, there must be more to it and that I fancy him.

To get this straight:

Said runner has a girlfriend, I have a husband. So that would be a no-go!

But if I could place an ad it probably would say this:

Looking for a new best friend.

You should be:

  • Between 30 and 55 years of age.
  • Able to pay your own bills.
  • An active sports person, preferably a runner
  • Tattooed
  • Cultivated
  • Easy going and laid back attitude

You should have the same or similar interests like:

  • Reading
  • Like to go out and socialize
  • TV series and sitcoms
  • Love to spend time outdoors

You should not be:

  • A drunk
  • A smoker
  • Pitiful
  • Dishonest
  • Disrespectful/ Impolite

The look should be:

  • Slim/Well built figure
  • Casual laid back and original sense of style

I am not looking for any kind of romance! If you think you fulfill the requirements, send me an email with picture.

Phew, looks like quite some expansive ad.

Yeah, a new best friend would be more than nice, but if our “running-date” next week is just that, a running date and no further interpersonal  connection, then so be it.

But who knows maybe with a bit luck, I get/got myself a new buddy!

Franky

 

When your friend confesses in you

A few days ago a dear friend of mine send me an email. Because my friends all live overseas, we keep each other more or less up to date via email. Every now and then also via Whatsapp (voice-) messages.

However. I am reading her email about her life and so on and then all of a sudden she says, a friend of hers kissed her.

We have to dig a bit deeper here.

My friend is a beautiful intelligent lady who is in a long-term loving and happy relationship with a nice man. And the man who kissed her, was or still is just a good friend, or so she thought.

They where out in town at the weekend, preparing things for a party and on the way home they stopped in a park for a rest in the sun. So they put their shopping bags on a bench and before she knew what was going on he said

“I am sorry for doing this to you, but I just have to, even knowing this will be the only time…”

and then he took her face with both hands and kissed her! She kissed him back, but stopped quickly and moved out of his grip and before she could respond he said

“I know I am selfish and I shouldn’t have because you are in a relationship but I am feeling more than just friendship and I wanted just one kiss so I would not wonder for the rest of my life, what it would be like. It will not happen again, please don’t tell XY.”

She was so baffled, she didn’t know what to say…

So she send me her story, also telling me that she didn’t confess in her boyfriend. She said, she didn’t do anything to encourage him to kiss her nor did she realize that he’s got feelings for her.

Though, she admits it was a beautiful kiss, but she loves her partner.

Only thing she doesn’t know is whether to tell her partner or not.

Hm. That is a tricky situation because

a) she kissed him back. Her partner might ask, why she did kiss him back instead of stopping him in his tracks

b) it would cause a row between the three, because she kissed him back and both males are friends with each other as well and kissing another buddies woman is a no-go (we all know that)

c) if she doesn’t tell, she has to live with it.

If I was in her shoes, and I really love my partner, I wouldn’t tell him! Why causing a row? It was a meaningless kiss and if the other part wouldn’t have started it, it would have never happened. Why stirring something up? Do I have to make my partner feel bad or angry or even insecure about something I already have forgotten hours later because it was so irrelevant?

I did that once. I was 18 (I think) and as it happened, I kissed someone back, confessed in my boyfriend because I thought he should know. I told him it didn’t mean nothing to me (it didn’t) and what did I get in return?! Pure drama! Trust gone… though he said, he would forgive me. He didn’t! He let me know every time we went somewhere. He was so jealous it was pure madness him shouting at me even when another man only looked in my direction. In the end I just had to end it, I couldn’t take it anymore!

If she doesn’t want to hide even a “white-lie”, she might has to live with the consequences:

  • A real man fight (yeehaaaaa where is the popcorn, the coke and a chair?)
  • Accusations regarding why she kissed him back, of her causing it, of flirting with him…
  • Trust issues
  • Split

Do I want to give me the above mentioned when I am happy in my relationship? No I don’t and that is what I told her. But of course it is up to her.

How would you react if it would happen to you or your partner would confess something like that?

Franky