Category: Men

Men & Fat

Over the past two years I put on weight. It was gradually. Either I didn’t realise it or I didn’t care to realise. Either way, my point is, my husband did not tell me! Which really annoys me!

And no beloved male readers, there is no catch! I for one, want to get told, when I put on weight! And no, I will not throw a fit or cry all day long about how mean you are!

I mean, you fall in love with someone. Because of their looks and of course because of the intellect! So when one of the couple gradually puts on weight, it is not what you fell in love with and no they don’t love the excess weight! Not the one who gains it nor the one who has to live with said person.

Or did you ever hear someone say:

“Oooooh I love your cute love-handles and I especially love how they jiggle when you move…. and your bat arms, how huge they are….. or oh I just love how the fat really pushes out your cellulite, I hope you will put even more on…. or I could kiss that double chin of yours all day long….or it looks so hot when your ass tries to eat your shorts….

Not ever did I hear someone say something like that! Ever!

Of course you are still loved when you put on weight, but they love you as a person but they don’t love the extra weight! And no this is not fat shaming! This is pointing out the obvious!

So please men, do yourself a favour, when your partner puts on weight, say, or if you fear for your life, at least do something about it!

But if you are truly happy for your partner to get bigger and your partner is the same, than of course just dismiss the above!

As for me and my fat, I am on the way to recovery and back to my former self by eating healthy and exercise and sleep more!

Franky

My Husband & The Menopause

When my husband lay in bed all horny this morning, I had to dampen his mood by telling him that the Red Sea was currently residing in south under!

He then asks me “…. shouldn’t you get this pause….. this menopause anytime soon?!”

“Excuse me? I AM 40 YEARS OLD!!!….” I am still a spring chicken!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am 40!!! No, Sir! The menopause won’t knock on my door any time soon, or so I believe.

Men, just unbelievable!

Franky

Think of me

Do you ever think of me when you cross the street, the rain pouring down on you

Trying to wash away all your guilt?

Do you ever think of me when you feel so low that you want to hang your head

Hang your head because you realise you lost all hope?

Do you ever think of me when all of a sudden a gust of wind carries a sweet scent to you which reminds you of old times

Carefree times?

Do you ever think of me when you rush from one corner of the world to the other though all you really want to do is just stand still?

Do you ever think of me while searching for the right words though they are right at the tip of your tounge?

Do you ever think of me in the middle of the night

Wide awake?

I think you do

All the time

Hot Toddy

Screw Day and Night Nurse, doesn’t matter wether it is the liquid form or tablets, my new remedy when it comes to the first symptoms of a cold or flu is a good old Hot Toddy!

Recently I was googling remedies when I woke up with a scratchy throat, stinging eyes and slightly blocked nose, not to mention the throbbing head.

And I knew what is to come. Every, yes every single time when it starts like that, I know I will suffer from a very bad sinus infection which lasts me weeks and sometimes even ends with antibiotics as it gets so bad, all I want is to bang my head against the wall before someone who is compassionate enough comes round to shoot me! Yes, THAT bad!

So when those little nasty bactarials started to nest inside me, I thought

No, not again! I can’t afford to fall sick when I just started a new job. I need this job, I need the money.

So I came across the Hot Toddy recipe:

  • Hot water
  • Freshly pressed lemon juice
  • Honey (Since I am a vegan, I use Mable syrup to sweeten up)
  • And the best: WHISKY

I am a big fan of whisky….. oh I sound like a drunk, but no, ladies and gentlemen, I can count the drinks I have per year on one hand!

So I brewed my concoction and it was oh so tasty! And the next day I already felt a bit better. I had two more drinks over the next two days and viola, I was as good as new!

Yesterday my husband was still in his bathrobe when I got back from work, feeling sick, so I suggested to brew him one as well.

When it comes to food or drinks he doesn’t like he is like a cat you try to bath. Really hard work but in the end he gulped it down (he doesn’t like whisky at all) and had one more later in the evening and again, he felt much better today!

Hot Toddy, you are my new best medicine friend.

What better excuse to have whisky?!

Franky

Partner?!?

Ok, so whooooo of you didn’t keep me posted?!

A few times now it happened that I was introduced to or that someone was talking about their partner.

Partner? I thought.

When I hear someone talking about their other half and is regarding to him/her as partner, I wonder if that person is

a) the  same sex or if

b) they are talking about a business partner?

Do the 30 something do that now, referring to our beloved one as partner? And if so, how come I missed this?

Is it outdated to introduce your partner (I still didn’t get over it) as your boy/girlfriend?

Or is introducing your partner as boy/girlfriend seen as immature? Is this an adult thing?

I mean, I have a husband so I introduce him as husband (I don’t think there is another term for it, or is there?!).

But still, it bothers me.

Guess I keep on wondering.

Franky

 

Undisturbed Sleep

I am certain I said it in a previous post, but I say it again:

I am sleep deprived!!! Which is very exhausting. Every morning, even when I get to go to bed at 8pm, I have to force myself out of bed!

Not because I am a I-love-to-sleep-in sort of type, no, because I get easily disturbed!

Have you watched the movie “Trainwreck”? The scene when Amy Schumer stays over at the doctors?

THAT is so me!

My husband claims he can’t fall asleep when he can’t touch me, so he often puts at least one foot on my leg (where I often wonder, how is it he says he can’t fall asleep without touching  me, when he is wearing socks in bed?!? He can’t really feel anything anyway!).

When he does so, I am wide awake, eyes like saucers, waiting for him to fall asleep and when he finally does, I either move his leg over (but that only works when he is already snoring), or I move to the edge of the bed.

It all started when I was a little baby. I would not fall asleep on the arm or in the same bed as my parents, they had to put me in my own cot! So when they put me down, I fell asleep without whinging and that lasted for at least 10 hours!

My parents where so spoiled (at least as long I was an innocent, helpless baby), they often had to check if I was still alive and wake me up!!!

As long I was in my own bed, nothing could wake me up. I had a very deep sleep. Early to bed and early back up throughout my teens and into adulthood.

At least as long I was single!

When I was in a relationship, my sleep got disturbed by unruly, other, not to me belonging body parts!

Sure when you are still in your “honeymoon-phase”, it feels cosy and you want to touch your new man’s/woman’s body constantly, but when it comes to MY sleep, it is no fun!

So what did I do?! I pretended to be all loved up and comfy, just to wait for the guy to fall asleep so I could roll over to my side (at least if the bed was big enough) to get at least a bit of sleep myself.

I am sorry, but I just can’t do it! Never could, never will!

I don’t want to get breathed at and I don’t want to have way to warm body parts slung over me.

I need my sleep! Sleep is important! I don’t get much as it is!

So dear God, do you hear me? If so, can you send someone down at nighttime who could prevent hubby from sneaking up on me? Hm…. I can’t quite hear you but presume you got my message and granted my wish!

Many thanks!

Franky