Category: Love

Being emotional

It has been over a year since my grandma died.

When my husband told me after I got back from my shift in the evening, I cried.

One of those long, loud, raw heartbreaking cries. It didn’t last long.

I cried it out while my husband held me.

I did not cry at the funeral. I didn’t want to. Didn’t want the others to see me like that.

But every time I see a grandma and her grandchildren together, I have tears in my eyes.

The pain does not lessen. It is a constant ache and I know I will be feeling like this forever.

I am certain it is because I can’t hear her voice anymore, can’t phone her up to ask for advice.

That’s what I miss the most. The advice… Advice how to handle things, to hear her opinion.

I lost the most important person in my life….

But that is life, right? Life gives and life takes….

I will survive this with a sad smile.

Franky

Think of me

Do you ever think of me when you cross the street, the rain pouring down on you

Trying to wash away all your guilt?

Do you ever think of me when you feel so low that you want to hang your head

Hang your head because you realise you lost all hope?

Do you ever think of me when all of a sudden a gust of wind carries a sweet scent to you which reminds you of old times

Carefree times?

Do you ever think of me when you rush from one corner of the world to the other though all you really want to do is just stand still?

Do you ever think of me while searching for the right words though they are right at the tip of your tounge?

Do you ever think of me in the middle of the night

Wide awake?

I think you do

All the time

Worst

The blue in your eyes became a storm

And the fierce fire that has burned within you

Is snuffed out by sheer madness

While your body is violently trembling like a leaf

 

Shaking from a lovers fading touch

Your flesh still burning

From the remaining bits of love

A distinct scent kisses your shoulder

And endless memories are pumping through your veins

 

The hollow reflection that stares back at you

From a sea of sadness

Tells you to keep on breathing

Breathing breathing

 

Gone is the ones so bright light

Replaced by never ending dark nightmares

Enveloping you like a cozy blanket

 

Though my eyes  have seen it all

And my body felt it

I don’t know fear

Not anymore