Category: Husbands

My Husband

I have to announce something.

I have to give some big credit to my husband for still loving me!

A while ago we had a big talk about what is going not so well in our relationship and what made me so unhappy.

All relationships, especially long term relationships have their ups and downs and with a bit of luck couples will make it through- together.

I told and asked my husband to be a bit more open minded when it comes to other guys and said that I wouldn’t have a problem if he would kiss another woman.

Now my husband does not want to share me! Of course not! I am awesome! I am a great catch and unique in all my  little odd ways!

After such revelation, many a man would probably have showed me the door, thinking that I don’t love him. But love has nothing to do with the idea to maybe kiss another man/woman, it is the fun side that comes with it….

However. Like I said, my husband said “no” and I am sticking to it.

My point is:

Though I know that it is very easy to fall in love with me, it is also very hard to keep loving me because of the way I am, the way I (re-)act, the (sometimes hurtful) things I say and because of my selfishness!

But the man I have keeps on loving me despite all the above!

So, here I raise a glass to you:

I love you too!

Franky

The Thing With Temptation

Recently I had a very serious talk with my husband about our relationship.

Now I have to inform you, my husband can be very jealous and therefor controlling. And when he asked me, if I have cheated on him, my answer was “no”. Because I don’t lie and wouldn’t do something like that behind his back! So he asked, if I wanted?  I replied “only if you give me permission”. He didn’t like this one bit! He doesn’t want to share! He nearly had a heart attack and nervous breakdown. He hates it when I am flirting! But flirting to me, is like breathing. It comes natural and I do it without thinking. I might flirt with young, old, women, men. And there is nothing to it. Nothing sexual. It is just the fun bit, you know, where you have a fun, nice, easy going exchange of words which makes you smile and giggle. That’s all!

I always been like this and you need to have a really thick skin to be with me, I have to admit.

The thing with temptation is this, whoever you go, it is always in reach!

Am I tempted to cheat? Am I (actively) looking for it? And what does it contain? Where does cheating start in your point of view?

As for me, I am very relaxed about this topic. Would I mind if my husband would kiss or even have sex with someone else? Honestly? No, as long as he comes back home to me!

Temptation can be anything from a look, a word, an innocent touch.

It is about how far you go!

Everyone can be tempted, but everyone also got the will to stop!

Franky

I Became A Boring (Looking) Housewife

I must admit, I have been very unhappy about what I became.

A bored out of her arse housewife. Starting by the clothing, ending at the non-existing fun factor!

The last couple of years I did nothing but work and sleep, occasionally go for a run. How boring is that?! I used to be a fun person. Going out with friends, participate at running events, cinema, etc. That all disappeared.

I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw at all. So now is the time to change. I finally get my tattoos done and want to do more fun things in general.

I also like to do more things with hubby as after almost 10 years we drifted apart. Sadly we are no more than parents, not a couple and that’s not how a relationship should be. The good thing is, that our love is still there so we just sail through the storm until we hit the sun again!

So a change is to come and I am looking forward to it!

Franky

Men & Fat

Over the past two years I put on weight. It was gradually. Either I didn’t realise it or I didn’t care to realise. Either way, my point is, my husband did not tell me! Which really annoys me!

And no beloved male readers, there is no catch! I for one, want to get told, when I put on weight! And no, I will not throw a fit or cry all day long about how mean you are!

I mean, you fall in love with someone. Because of their looks and of course because of the intellect! So when one of the couple gradually puts on weight, it is not what you fell in love with and no they don’t love the excess weight! Not the one who gains it nor the one who has to live with said person.

Or did you ever hear someone say:

“Oooooh I love your cute love-handles and I especially love how they jiggle when you move…. and your bat arms, how huge they are….. or oh I just love how the fat really pushes out your cellulite, I hope you will put even more on…. or I could kiss that double chin of yours all day long….or it looks so hot when your ass tries to eat your shorts….

Not ever did I hear someone say something like that! Ever!

Of course you are still loved when you put on weight, but they love you as a person but they don’t love the extra weight! And no this is not fat shaming! This is pointing out the obvious!

So please men, do yourself a favour, when your partner puts on weight, say, or if you fear for your life, at least do something about it!

But if you are truly happy for your partner to get bigger and your partner is the same, than of course just dismiss the above!

As for me and my fat, I am on the way to recovery and back to my former self by eating healthy and exercise and sleep more!

Franky

My Husband & The Menopause

When my husband lay in bed all horny this morning, I had to dampen his mood by telling him that the Red Sea was currently residing in south under!

He then asks me “…. shouldn’t you get this pause….. this menopause anytime soon?!”

“Excuse me? I AM 40 YEARS OLD!!!….” I am still a spring chicken!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am 40!!! No, Sir! The menopause won’t knock on my door any time soon, or so I believe.

Men, just unbelievable!

Franky

Orkney or Cork???

Last week I applied for at least 3 vacancies on beautiful Orkney island, mainland.

Yes I know, we just bought a house and I was lucky enough to finally find a job near where I live now….

If there wasn’t a BUT!

But, two things:

  1. There is not much more to achieve for me… I think… on the other hand, I could stick it out until another position as retreat manager or similar will open internally…. But I don’t think I want to work for the rest of my life in a retreat, managing a café and checking guests in and out… Don’t get me wrong, the location, my colleagues and the guests are all lovely…but:
  2. The wage I earn is not enough to provide for my family in case my husband would lose his job or even worse.

And after all we wanted to go Orkney anyway. No, let me rephrase that: I wanted us to go to Orkney! So here is me thinking, searching desperately for a job I love, where I can achieve more skills and where I finally finally settle, happy as Larry!

But it feels as if nobody wants to give me a chance. I apply for jobs but get one rejection after the other and it is very difficult to remain in my Franky-Everything-Will-Be-Alright-Bubble!

My husband says, all you need is the one person who believes in you and gives you a chance to prove yourself! Well it would be nice if that person would turn up!

And now another bomb which could change everything again:

My husband told me yesterday evening all nonchalantly that he applied for some vacancies in, and now here it comes, Ireland! Yes, Ireland!

How exciting is that???

So it might be my husband who moves away for a better job and not me.

However, I will keep you updated!

Franky

Appreciation

I came to realize that I did not appreciate many precious moments I experienced!

When my teenagers where little, all I wished for was them to grow up a bit faster to be more independent.

I felt tired all the time, and every day was just a rush. Rushing to kindergarten, rushing to school, rushing to work…

And before I knew it, my babies turned into teenagers… literally in a blink of an eye and what did I do? I did it again:

When I clashed, as so many times, with my teenage daughter, I wished for her to be older so that she could move out and live her own life.

That is an awful thing to do!

I should have tried to spend more time with them, should have cuddled them more and told them, how much I loved them, I should have surprised them more often with little things or picnics. I should have done that every single day until now and every day coming!

If we are lucky, children live at home for 18, maybe 22… or even 25 years and compared to a (hopefully) long life, that is nothing! Nothing!!! It is such a short time you get to spend with them.

If you are lucky, they love you enough to phone and visit you on a regular basis. And if you are really, really lucky, they even live close by, so that you also get to see your grand-babies!!!

SIGH…. big SIGH….

When I was not working because the children where too little, all I did was complaining because I didn’t get to go out of the house. Complaining how bored and isolated I felt.

Instead I should have been happy about the fact, that I am actually be able to spend so much time with my children, get to sleep more and do what ever I want.

And I know I should show my husband more affection. I know I should miss him when he is away because one day, he might not be around anymore and I might regret my (non-) actions.

In this case it is not funny how my perception has worked out for me. No, it is rather sad.

But this is life and life never goes the way we want it to.

Guess, I keep on trying, trying to be the best mom and wife I can be. Trying to make it better and trying to make the best of life.

Franky