Category: First love

Perception of Joker

Yesterday hubby and me watched the new ‘Joker’ movie and it was great and sad and disturbing and I could identify with the character in so many ways…

Many of us have seen ‘Joker’ movies before and in general the character of the ‘Joker” is a mental person, a twisted one, an evil persona or so it seems on the first look.

When I watched the movie the person I have seen was a deeply sad person. A man who felt invisible to society, to people around him, to women to everyone really. I felt that people would look down at him, laugh at him and no matter how hard he would try, it would never seem enough to be accepted or appreciated or just be honest with him!

How many of you felt that way before? How many of you felt alone? How many of you thought, you are not good enough…. at work, at relationships, friendships….? How many of you felt mistreated? How many of you felt unloved and not pretty enough only because you do things different or think in an unconventional way? How often have you thought, you will never be better or overcome your ‘working class status’?

In today’s world people look at you and judge you in the first few seconds, they make up their mind without putting the effort in, in getting to know you. What for a sad sad thing to do, I hang my head in shame for everyone who acts this way!

Nowadays the first reaction when people hear that someone has mental health problems like bipolar or a form of schizophrenia, ADHS, anxiety and lots of other things is disgust or comments like “they should get their act together”! Why not show a bit compassion, why not ask the person next to you how he/she is doing? Why not ask yourself if you yourself is right in the head? Aren’t we all a bit mental? Don’t we all have problems? For some their problems might be nothing major, for others it might be the end of the world….

So here I sit now, reminiscing…. and let me tell you the following:

I don’t know you, I don’t know your story but I know you are out there and I feel for you! It might not be today or tomorrow, but the day will come where you see the light in the end of the tunnel and you will feel better! And whoever tries to tell you, you are not right or not good enough, do not listen to them! You are unique and perfect in every way and you are loved and you will be cherished! You might not know it now or not have found the one just yet, but there is someone who can’t wait to meet you and give you what you are looking for and what you deserve! Don’t forget to breathe, do smile, do laugh and make the best of life as you deserve nothing but the best!

Do not give up, ever!

Franky

 

 

My children won’t have a sex life!!!

Recently I read a post from this lovely person:

https://kidscrumbsandcrackers.wordpress.com/2016/02/20/finders-keepers-%F0%9F%98%89/

and wondered, will I ever find other bodies which don’t belong to my household???

The thought alone gives me strawberry skin, it makes me shiver and it feels like something is crawling up and down my spine, something slimy you don’t want  and frankly I wish that my children would wait with everything sex related until they are married and moved out!

Which means they should be in their late 20s!!! Awwwww isn’t that a nice daydream?

When I think back, once my mother found me in bed with my boyfriend when I was still young and thought I was very much in loooooove. By then I didn’t know that it is possible to nearly faint while you get shouted at by your mum!

Once I got my driving license I used to sleep at my boyfriends. Did I mention he also still lived at home. But hey, when you are young you don’t care (that much).

So, how would I feel when my son or daughter even have the guts to ask me, whether or not someone they think they are in love with, could stay over night?

I probably throw up…. just kidding….not…. well, I don’t know. I really don’t.

The rules here in house Free are very strict:

Stay away from the opposite sex. Stay away from the same sex- whichever you prefer, as long as possible! Once you think you are in looooove, it is high likely you get your heart broken. The longer you wait, the better.

Which brings us to the next rule:

Don’t get married before your late 20s or even better early 30s. How likely is it nowadays that you stay married when you met young??? Get my point? It is way to tempting to just throw something away instead to fix it…

Would it be mean of me, just to say “no” when get asked the “over-night-question”? I already feel uncomfortable about it. I don’t want this to happen- EVER!

Ah maybe I am lucky and they move out early, with a part time job, studying something great… being on their own feet.

Then I can pretend, they do nothing but work and study and that they don’t have time for relationships and everything that comes with it.

Yeah. I stick with that!!!

Franky

Save me from my thoughts

It is a beautiful morning. I am running up a big hill. I feel like I am flying. I am feeling free. Easily I make it to the top and there you are . I thought I would never see you again and still.

How did you find me? Why are you here? What do you want? Why, after all this time? Can it really be?

Your smile warms my heart. Still I can’t say a word. I stay frozen to the spot. All I can do is stare. Maybe I didn’t get it, yet. You being here, so far away from home. You don’t talk, just smile. Above our heads endless deep blue sky.

I can’t take it anymore, too overwhelmed, too many feelings, too sore.

Love, hate, disappointment, happiness, gladness, fear, hope.

Moving slowly, I end up in your arms. I still can’t talk,  just want to live in this moment surrounded by warmth.

I breath deeply, almost forgotten was your scent, almost forgotten the feel of your strong arms, we were to be meant.

Silently I look at you, my eyes full of sadness, begging you to set me free, to save me from my thoughts full of madness.

The thoughts will never end, thoughts of sin, of love, of happiness, of despair, of everything which once has been, so I am begging you, I am begging you, set me free and save me from my thoughts and just let me be.

Sonnet of life

A sonnet is a first  kiss

which you will forever remember

and always will miss

The sweet kiss so soft so innocent so warm upon your lips

A sonnet is a flower bouquet

It smells so deliciously of freedom of sunshine

Of honesty

It warms your friend’s heart and you she knows we will forever be

A sonnet is family

She is around you, she supports you

No matter how bad the agony

A sonnet is love

A love that pleasures us

In the darkest of hours and will ever last

My sweetheart

My sweetheart

Only a few streets away

My heart was always with you

My sweetheart

We fought and we loved

You came always back to me

My sweetheart

Your beauty was stunning, your heart was mine and mine was yours

Our love so big so pure

But you left

My heart has been waiting for my sweetheart so long so long

But life goes on and it goes on and on