Category: Family

Letting go of resentment

The one and only Russell Brand recently talked about resentment on his blog.

Now many think Russell Brand is not an adequate role model for such things, but you know it got me thinking for quite some time and I came to the conclusion he is right.

Resentment eats you up. It is not healthy.

And thinking about his words and about the things or actions others did that I resented, I realised I have to let go in order to live a happier life!

You could say the following is a bit of an open letter.

So here it goes. The things that bothered me the most, things I resented, things which just made me feel bad:

Christian, I forgive you for not being able to be my best friend anymore! I do understand your reasons and though I still miss our friendship I am able to let go now.

Dares, I forgive you for making me feel unimportant in your life which eventually ended our friendship. I believe now that you did the best you could, but my standards have been probably too high to reach and I am sorry it ended like it did. But I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart!

For my brother whom I haven’t spoken in 15 long years: I forgive you for letting me down in several occasions! I should have just taken you the way you are! I also forgive you for hurting my feelings all those years ago when it came to the final blow. I, we, should have been more civilised and talk about it. I still love you and ever will and wherever you are, I hope you are doing good and that you are truly happy!

To my parents: I forgive you for not being able to make me feel loved! I know you might not have know better but I believe you did the best you could. After all, sometimes it is hard to love your teenager as I should know best as they can drive you mental and I was by far no angel.

Those things have eaten me up and it feels good to finally be able to let go. It is like weight is lifted of my shoulders and I can breath much better.

Franky

 

Super Mommies…

… I wish I was one of those super mommies!

You know the kind who wakes up the children with ready to eat healthy breakfast, who bakes pastries and sends them to school, who never ever forgets important school dates.

Who has lunch ready by the time the children are back from school, who bathes the little buggers and reads them a bed time story.

One with diaries to make sure, she never forgets anything.

Yeah, I wish I was so organised, motivated and wide awake, looking stunning in the early morning…. or afternoon.

Who organises play dates and hang out with the other mums on playgrounds.

But me? Pfffff…… I don’t plan…..I do have a planner however…..but forget to note important dates…. I forget school relating things until the day they actually happen or when I am really lucky the babies tell me just before shops will close.

Other mums??? I don’t even know what they look like and my excuse for now is, that I just moved here, ha!

Yes, I admit I am chaotic, I am most of the day in rush or busy with other things and also yes, when it is more convenient, I just put some chicken nuggets and chips in the oven paired with a glass of smoothie.

Yeah, I am trying…. but hey, they are alive and healthy so I must do something right.

Franky

Christmas in hospitality

As you might have read earlier, I currently work in a hotel as a waiter.

I, together with my headwaiter and two other lovely individuals, run the breakfast buffet which can get pretty tough, especially at weekends.

But now that we had Christmas, we are open 30 minutes longer every day and we are fully booked until the 2nd of January!

30 minutes does not sound much at first…. but hey ho, we ALWAYS (and I am rolling my eyes right now) have guests who come in one minute before we officially shut the doors. Maybe I should mention that in addition to the 30 minutes we top it up with another 15 minutes as a curtesy! And even than, some guests have no care in the world, wandering around, thinking about what next to eat. And than we have those very cheeky guests who stick their head through the closed door, demanding more food/drinks!!! What the…?!

If you are one of those who like to eat out over Christmas:

Don’t you think about the staff? About the people who serve you? Who get up very early in the morning to get the buffet ready, arranging everything nice so that you don’t get sore eyes?

Have you ever thought about, that those people working in hospitality would have liked to stay at their cozy homes, watch their children, family and friends to unwrap presents and stuff their faces with delicious food they prepared the day beforehand???!!!

I had to work 9 days straight! I did not get to see my children unwrap everything and I had to prepare all food the day before with instructions for my family about how long to put what in which oven to be ready for when I return from work.

So since I had to work every single day over the festive period, I would never even consider eating out at such a time and those with family (maybe, or high likely those without as well) will understand why.

Franky

P.S.: Once I was home from my shift I did nothing but eat all day long, my Christmas dinner was lovely.

Worldly possessions

On my way home from work I realised, I could live without all my so called worldly possessions!

I wouldn’t mind if I loose my house for what ever reason, everything in it, even my beloved eye and face cream (which is quite fancy, makes me look 10 years younger and costs hubby a fortune).

I wouldn’t mind loosing all my favourite clothes and running gear… after all you could replace it all.

But what I could never live without is the love of my friends, my children and husband.

Feeling loved is the only thing that does not make you feel lonely and that, I think, is the most important thing.

Merry Christmas all

Franky

Being emotional

It has been over a year since my grandma died.

When my husband told me after I got back from my shift in the evening, I cried.

One of those long, loud, raw heartbreaking cries. It didn’t last long.

I cried it out while my husband held me.

I did not cry at the funeral. I didn’t want to. Didn’t want the others to see me like that.

But every time I see a grandma and her grandchildren together, I have tears in my eyes.

The pain does not lessen. It is a constant ache and I know I will be feeling like this forever.

I am certain it is because I can’t hear her voice anymore, can’t phone her up to ask for advice.

That’s what I miss the most. The advice… Advice how to handle things, to hear her opinion.

I lost the most important person in my life….

But that is life, right? Life gives and life takes….

I will survive this with a sad smile.

Franky

Finally in Scotland

I, or better we, my family and myself, finally made it to Scotland.

But we did not get to buy our own house just yet. Our house buy fell through, but I was more than happy about it.

It just wasn’t the house. The house itself was nice, but we all know that “nice” is “shits” little sister. Also I did not like the location one bit.

However….

Within less than a week from when we knew we won’t buy said “nice” house, we had to find a place to rent.

We have been to Scotland to view houses a couple of times though we couldn’t really afford it and every time  a lender/ property broker heard we are currently not working we did not get the letting, despite the fact that we offered to pay rent a year upfront!

So deary, imagine the following:

You have to find somewhere to live within a week, because the army wants you to vacate the army quarter, sort out removals, sort out schools for the children and find a new job.

So in the end we where kind of desperate and when I phoned up the last letting I found, I just lied! And I did it without turning into a overripe tomato!

I said we are employed and are happy to pay 6 month upfront rent!

So now we are living in a cottage that is so small, you can’t even fit a tumble dryer in and some of our things are stored away.

You might think, I am Rockefeller. Oh I wish I was.

In the end my husband and me found good paid jobs and am about to apply for a mortgage again.

13 years ago I visited Scotland for the very first time and now I get to live here, finally!

And with a little bit of luck, we get our own house by the end of the year. It would be so nice to celebrate Christmas in our house…..

So I keep on hoping, keep on fighting for the good and better things in life.

After all we all deserve the best, do we not?!

Franky