Category: Beauty

Parenthood is so hard…

I have been a parent for almost 18 years now. Longer if you count the pregnancy as well.

When my first born arrived it felt just right. I loved my son straight away despite the fact that he looked like a very red spotty beetle. Motherly love, eh?

When my second one arrived 1 year and 5 month later it was love again, not at (first) sight as she looked like a sumo wrestler baby but fortunately she outgrew that very quickly.

Having them both together was fun and for a long time it was only us, the three musketeers. We had our routine and were happy. But it was also very exhausting and there were days when I had to lock myself in the bathroom for a couple of minutes for a good cry….

Than 10 years later a second beloved daughter arrived and oh she was perfect! I had given up on the fact that when my children are born they have to grow into beautiful individuals but she, my Cailleach, was perfect!

Two years after Cailleach our second son arrived 6 weeks premature but strong and healthy given the circumstances and also so handsome!

Thinking I was exhausted when I had the first two, I can only laugh! Never had I such ferocious dark baggy circles under my eyes which on a daily basis said hello to my knees! I even cried from sleep deprivation as the two little monsters wanted nothing but mommies boobies and arms to be held 24/7 for over a year from the time they arrived.

But if you think toddlerhood is exhausting, wait until you have teenagers. Female teenagers to be precise.

They can be so stubborn, they have their own mind and ways and that is totally fine- as long you don’t live under one roof!

They can be so incredibly lazy that you want to pull your hair out or better theirs and only help around the house if you

a) threaten

or

b) pay them

or

c) well they usually don’t even blink an eyelash when it comes to help out anyway….

I know I should be more considerate, I should just let them be, but the thing is:

My 7 year old daughter is already developing the same attitude! SHE IS 7!!! And I just can’t have another one of this type! It is just too much with everything else going on like paying off a house, finding a proper job that makes me happy with a good wage, getting my garden done (spend hours so far gardening), trying to get the rest of my house done, trying to figure out how to pay for all this….

At the moment I just want peace and quiet. I don’t want to feel sad and tired and puzzled trying to figure out what to do and how to survive another day!

In an ideal world I would come home from a job I love to find my house clean and tidy.

In an ideal world I would be able to make breakfast and cook.

In an ideal world I wouldn’t have to worry about my children’s homework and education.

But this is not an ideal world.

I wished I could stop being a mum, just for a bit, to be able to breath and take care of myself…

I wished it would get easier, but it never does.

But we keep on marching and we keep on loving.

Franky

From Vegan to Prescetarian

The transition was not difficult at all, but the decision to do this step was.

I have been a vegetarian for a loooong time and have been a vegan for three years.

Both as vegetarian and vegan I got my blood tested at least once per year to make sure I don’t have any deficiencies. My blood results where always fine, nothing to worry about.

It can take up to one year for your body to adjust to a new lifestyle. So far so good.

But since I became a vegan and looking back on it now I recently realised that I was/am constantly tired, I have put on a bit of weight but worse of all I was constantly ill. Not sickly ill that I needed to stay in bed but often cold ridden which in my case often results in nasty and painful sinus infections. And there is nothing worse than to walk around for days with swollen tiny mole eyes!!!

So I came across a study and to keep it short it basically said that though your blood results can be perfectly fine, your macrobiotics which are to be found in your gut/colon might be out of balance as apparently you get more of those macrobiotics from meat rather than plants.

Vegans and vegetarians might argue this and I would have too but when you are constantly ill and tired… at some point you just have enough and you question your diet which I did.

Of course it could be for totally different reasons like getting older, too much work and stress and too little exercise….

But at the current moment I just need more energy. Enough energy to actual enjoy my spare time with family and friends and not going to bed straight away when I come home.

So I decided to add seafood to my vegan diet which makes me a prescetarian. I will continue this diet for a year and see if something changes which I really hope.

Nighty night everyone.

Franky

Why do we cry???

We often hear

“…..let it all out…. just cry…..you feel better after it….”

We cry because we are sad, because we are angry, because we are disappointed and probably because of lots of other things, but does it really make you feel better? Does it change the view or the reason you cried?

We cry because basically we are hurt!

I recently attended a friends funeral. When I heard the sad news I thought I kept it good together. There was a small tear….

I was fine driving down to Wales. I was fine checking into my hotel and have a stroll around the little town and the beach. I slept okay.

I was fine while standing with many others in front of the doors to the little chapel and I also kept it together during mess but when my late friends widow hugged me I really, really had to swallow my tears back and when I was on my way to my car I felt them roll down my cheeks.

So why is that? Is it because I don’t get to talk to him or see him again? Is it because of missed opportunities?

Why do we cry when we argue or when a boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you or your partner divorces you?

Is it because we know we will not share our future together? Is it because we know we want have anymore nice moments together? Is it because the future is unclear now?

Looking at it from a distance we should know these things happen, people die, people can turn on you, people don’t want to be with you, it’s just how the world is and yet we are still hurt by actions.

I personally think, “letting it all out” does not make me feel better, if anything it makes me feel worse, tired and yes even tired of life and how life treats me! Not to mention my eyes! After a good  long cry I look like a boxer after a 12 round fight, really no kidding.

It would be nice if there was a button to switch certain emotions on and off, don’t you agree?

Franky

Why don’t I have a specific style???

I recently realised, I don’t really have a specific style and wonder why that is?

Ok, I had a hippie phase, a grunge(ish) style, a 50s style, a “house” style but nothing ever stuck.

It is the same with my hair, I wore my hair in all styles and lengths.

It is almost as if I still try to figure out who I am without really realising it.

The only thing that sticks with me is cashmere cardigans (girls, whoever tells you, you don’t need another cashmere cardigan because you already own 32- they flat out LIE)!

So in my wardrobe you find a lot of Fred Perry dresses and polo shirts, you find knee lengths skirts, even a maxi dress, you even find 2 pairs of chinos (Fred Perry as well) and of course cashmere jumpers and cardigans.

At the current moment I am all into barefoot shoes which, ones your feet got used to it  and stop hurting, are the most comfortable shoes EVER!

But a specific style? No I don’t have one! Maybe I will never have one, who knows what I look like in a years time (hopefully as beautiful as I am know, ha ha ha).

Franky

Worldly possessions

On my way home from work I realised, I could live without all my so called worldly possessions!

I wouldn’t mind if I loose my house for what ever reason, everything in it, even my beloved eye and face cream (which is quite fancy, makes me look 10 years younger and costs hubby a fortune).

I wouldn’t mind loosing all my favourite clothes and running gear… after all you could replace it all.

But what I could never live without is the love of my friends, my children and husband.

Feeling loved is the only thing that does not make you feel lonely and that, I think, is the most important thing.

Merry Christmas all

Franky

Tattoos at Work

Since I moved house I started to work in a establishment where the very wealthy and rich walk in and out on a daily basis.

I do enjoy my job and I was well trained by a very nice lady I work with.

My shift starts at 6am, therefor I cycle the 3 miles every morning and leave at around 5:15am, day in, day out.

I am always on time, often even 20 minutes early which I don’t get paid and I don’t mind.

I am polite and helpful to staff and guests, I smile and greet all the time whether I get a response back or not.

I am dedicated and want to give 110%.

I do  all this because I like working where I work and because I need the money.

Now I was told a couple of times that I have to do something about my neck tattoos.

I was actually told at induction, that the employer wants to loosen up a bit and as long tattoos are not offensive, it is okay to have them on display.

Apparently that does not apply to the neck.

I was told to either cover it with make up or put plasters on.

Did I mention that my neck tattoos are hand big on either side of my neck?!

And yesterday it was ordered from very high above, that I should cover it, maybe by keeping my hair open.

It was actually ordered, that I was to be placed out of public eye!!! But my lovely boss wouldn’t have it so today I am having my beautiful locks chopped off to chin length.

The thing is:

However ordered it (I may go back to my boss regarding this matter to find out who it was to consult him/her myself), does not even know me in person and just reduced me to my tattoos which is a very sad thing as it does not say anything about my personality and work!

This goes against my core beliefs:

Do not judge a book by its cover!!!

I thought it is the year 2018 and the society is all open minded. But it shows once more that many people just look down at you and not see you at the same level as them.

I am fully aware that having neck tattoos cause problems in the work world and it isn’t the first time I have to cover them, I just feel insulted, that the person did not contact me him/herself to discuss the matter and find a solution together!

THAT wouldn’t have been a big deal at all.

Sad sad times….

Franky