Category: Beauty

Me And My Commitment Issues

Usually, or often, it is us women who blame the men that they don’t want to commit, but here I am, still sitting in my stripy blue/white cotton short pyjamas, holding my hands up, admitting that I have commitment issues!

I might even go so far as to say, I am a commitment phobe!

When you think of commitment, you think (romantic) relationships. Well okay, let’s start there:

Before my husband, I have been in relationships. Some longer, some maybe just a couple of month, weeks even. At some point I either got bored ore annoyed or I cheated which meant I would walk out of the relationship anyway. However, at some point I was told, I don’t have a heart because I just didn’t want to fully commit to the relationship. What was the reasonable thing to do? I walked away. All I ever wanted was easy peasy relationships and if that didn’t work out, even after a (lame) attempt to fix it, I just quit. Someone once proposed to me. The way and the ring was all wrong but I went with it at first. But every time I looked at the ring it made me sweat, I felt physically ill even thinking about being married (to that guy). I just couldn’t do it! I didn’t want this!

And even now that I am (happily) married, I often find it hard to stay committed which has nothing to do with wanting other men or romantic feelings it has more to do with me just wanting to do what I want, when I want. But when you are married, and you have children and a house together, you can’t just walk away when something annoys you, you have to work it out which sometimes can drive one (me) mental. And of course there is the thing that I am a flirt which drives hubby to his ends wits. But hey I am what I am, just can’t help it.

Am I committed to my friends? Here I can give you a big fat YES! I am loyal to my friends and I know they know it! Though sometimes I fear because of the distance some of my friends could just befriend other nice people…. hahahaha who am I kidding here?! There is no better friend but me! Ts, the thought alone….

But except from friendships I can’t seem to commit to anything!

I can’t commit to a hairstyle or length. I think I had almost every haircut possible in my 40 years.

I also can’t commit to a style clothes wise. I wore everything from hippie, to punk, 50s 90s….But one thing I never do: I never go with the latest trend. The things you currently find in my cupboard is lots of Fred Perry, skirts and long floaty dresses. And cashmere cardigans and jumpers. No jeans! And only two Fred Perry chinos for terrible weather.

When it comes to jobs it is the same thing: I studied to become a legal secretary but after 3 years I got trained to become a piercer. Two years ago I studied to become a sports massage therapist. Do I still work as a therapist? Of course not! Past summer I went to Ireland for work. I left after 2 month because I didn’t like Dublin (sorry Dubliners). Now I work in hospitality again and the only thing me not leaving is because the drive is only 25 minutes! I received an invitation for a job interview (two days ago) as a typist in Edinburgh city centre. I did not reply… yet. It would be more money, but also far more travel time. I would need to get to the next train station as everyone who ever went to Edinburgh in morning rush hour does understand why I don’t want to drive. Awful. Just awful. I mean if I switch jobs again, my CV looks like I do nothing but job hopping… Decisions, decisions…

A place to live? I can’t even commit to that! Yes, we bought a house and the area is lovely. But I would love to go much further north west! I feel restless thinking about living here for the rest of my life! I thought it’s what I want, what I need. But once again, I am wrong. I love moving house, I love seeing new places.

I can’t even commit to my WordPress. Instead of writing and committing to one topic, I write about everything and nothing.

Maybe commitment in my case equals boredom. Or maybe the feeling that if I commit I am stuck and don’t move forward.

Life is full of exciting opportunities and I just don’t want to miss out on anything, I guess. Does it make me sad that I can’t commit? No! I like the way I am! I am full of life and want to take it all!

So I try to keep on running. I mean, flying! Flying sounds much nicer. Flying wherever the wind blows me!


Odd Commentary

Two days I received not one, but two odd commentary from two different people.

When I was sitting at the hair dresser’s, we were talking about my hairdresser’s life, what she did before and when we came to children, I told her I have 4.

“4!!! Children?! 4??? You are married? Really? I thought you are single the way you look….”

I know, (she said so herself) she meant it in a nice way, but I wonder:

Am I not marriage material because I am heavily tattooed? Don’t I look like the type who could be married? I found that really odd.

Forward hours later:

My sister phones me. We updated each other what happened in each others lives in the past week and so I told her all proud, that I finally got my throat tattooed. And so she says:

“You still get tattooed?!?” She sounded really surprised, maybe even a bit shocked.

Why wouldn’t I still get tattooed? Are only people under 40 are allowed to get tattooed? And/or people with less than 4 children? Unmarried single human beings? I don’t even look 40! Usually people would say I look 30!

Maybe it was just her overall stuck up opinion on how to live your life. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and I wished I could see her on a daily basis, but we are two very different people so I don’t hold her odd comment against her… but it still made me wonder.


Studio Gallerie XIII Edinburgh

I did it! Yesterday I finally got my neck tattooed!

A week ago I went to Edinburgh to  Studio Gallerie XIII Edinburgh and booked an appointment. The staff was very welcoming, we had a nice chat, I handed in my designs, paid my deposit and yesterday I returned to get tattooed by Alan.

And I must say, I had a really and painless (YES though it was right on my throat) good time.

Alan did such a fantastic job, that I already booked my next appointment! Everyone who past us during the session, complemented him on how good his work looks and when I finally got to take a look in the mirror, I was more than happy! He was kind and funny, explained everything, asked my opinion on styles, made sure I was comfortable, all in all easy peasy through out! I can highly recommend the shop! Not only because of Alan, but also because there are other very good tattooists who also happen to be extremely friendly-

What more does one need?!

I am so glad to have found the right tattoo shop after the disaster in Glasgow!

To many more tattoos to come!


Worst Tattoo Experience Ever!

For 21 years I am getting tattooed. Sometimes more frequent, sometimes less. And yes, there is still empty skin left!

Today I went to a tattoo shop and actually left without new ink! Outrage, I know, I KNOW!!!

Usually I don’t name and shame. However I do not name, but oh will I shame!!! So here it goes:

It begins with trying to book a tattoo appointment. I tried the online form they offer. No response. I tried it twice, because you know, maybe there was an error. Still nothing. I tried to contact them directly via email. One response 2 weeks later. I respond too. After that, nothing. I try the online chat a couple of times. No response. Ooookay, maybe they are super busy. So I phone them to check if I can arrange an appointment that way. I explain what I want etc. I get told to better come to the shop. No further explanation in regards as to why or why I didn’t get any responses on the chat/email. Just a “bye”. I think to myself “wow that is some rude lady, not a way to treat potential customers…” I give the online chat one more try and finally get it done! Appointment booked! Yay.

I jump in my cute little Mini, all excited to finally get my neck tattooed! I speed through the countryside over the back road to Glasgow, park my car and walk to the well known tattoo shop. They have 7 tattoo shops here in the UK and more overseas.

So I arrive 15 minutes before my appointment. The really nice reception girl (I mean that, she was very nice and friendly! And I was envious of her beautiful ginger hair) hands me a form to fill out regarding getting tattooed, asked me for the rest of the payment. All done and dusted! I sit down.

And wait… and wait…. and wait! After an hour she checks with the guest tattooist who’s supposed to tattoo me. She comes back and says he needs 10 more minutes. Okay, that is fine. I get it. He might be busy with another customer.

Finally he comes in, introductions done and shows me the tattoo design I have found online, only that it was a totally different design! And so ugly! I wanted a nice old school moth. He drew a completely different moth which didn’t look old school at all and there was so nothing cute and girly about it!

So I tell him politely that this is so absolutely not me and looks nothing like the one I send him. He informs me, that he “can’t feel it” and that “it is not nice to have another customers tattoo” which I totally get and I already explained that I want it amended!

We look for another design online together, bookmarked some. That is fine. He is an artist after all and if he feels this is wrong, who can fault him? He leaves again and I wait another hour. He comes back, again not with the original design. The one he offers me this time… well I could have drawn that myself and let me tell you, I am really bad in drawing, can’t even draw a tree!

I tell him, that I really really want the design I have given him in the first place. He could leave things out, change the colour here and there, maybe ad a skull…

He did not budge! So he offered to give me my money back! Didn’t even ask if I wanted to reschedule my appointment with another tattooist from the shop! Even spoke polish to the other tattooists and I highly doubt that it was not about me!

That’s what I call poor customer service! I mean, yes, I could have asked for another tattooist myself. But hey, I am a spoiled customer. I want and furthermore deserve the service. After all, they want my money and a good feedback to get even more customers in, right?!

Never ever did I experience something like it. Usually I would take my design, tell them, this is what I want. Slightly change it and the answer was always the same: No problem! I got tattooed by Germans, Polish, Italiens, Welsh, English and Dutch and never had any problems, always a good time… some where focused and quiet, others more chatty, the atmosphere always relaxed, no one ever made it awkward…

So so disappointed! Now, even though I know that there are good resident tattooists, I don’t want to go back to this shop and have to search again. And I don’t mind where here in Scotland! If I have to drive for a couple of hours, I do so. Question is, will I find one? Don’t really want to drive all the way to England or even fly over to Germany.

Big disappointed sigh.


What Would You Do For Love…

…. or what wouldn’t you do for love?

And by love I mean real, all consuming, ever lasting love!

If you see someone. A total stranger. On the street. Somewhere. And you are so blinded and fascinated by this person. You think to yourself how beautiful the person looks. The style, the smile that goes from head to toe. The sway in the walk. You see this person shine in all different colours and it hits you right there and then. All of a sudden everything you want, everything you need, is this very person. What do you do?

Would you just walk over and say “hello”? Would you follow the person, take in every step…? Would you want to find out everything before making the first move just to be sure to get it right?

And when you finally make this person fall in love with you, would you do everything in your might to keep it that way? Would you change your ways? Would you change your beliefs? Would you change your wardrobe only because she/he mentioned something? Would you even go so far as to quit friendships? Or would you make him/her bend to your will?

Would you kill for her/him? How do you know if its ever lasting love? What if it ends and you killed for someone you thought you would spend the rest of your life with?

How crazy can someone’s mind go for love?



Cosmopolitans “First Love”

I have been a Cosmopolitan reader for many many years!

I read the German Cosmopolitan, the American (which is not really my thing, sorry) and my favourite one, the UK Cosmopolitan.

Usually I found great pleasure reading about peoples “First Love”, but lately I can’t take it serious anymore.

Just today I read the February edition and the ex couple was 20 years of age!

20! Years! Of! Age!

Please tell me, what does a 20 something know of first love?! How much experience can a still very young person have, to say, “yes, it was love, my first love!”

I thought Cosmopolitan is for every age group but it was a long time since  they interviewed ex couples past 30.

Is it, because most readers want to read about younger people? Or is it because most people past 30 are in happy (married) relationships and wouldn’t want to participate? Or is the age group all of a sudden too old? But then again, if this magazine wants to have younger followers, could said followers actually afford the very fancy and pricey products which shine back at you the second you open the glossy papers?!

Hm. I don’t know, I just find it annoying. Or does that mean, I am getting old?