Category: Beauty

Men & Fat

Over the past two years I put on weight. It was gradually. Either I didn’t realise it or I didn’t care to realise. Either way, my point is, my husband did not tell me! Which really annoys me!

And no beloved male readers, there is no catch! I for one, want to get told, when I put on weight! And no, I will not throw a fit or cry all day long about how mean you are!

I mean, you fall in love with someone. Because of their looks and of course because of the intellect! So when one of the couple gradually puts on weight, it is not what you fell in love with and no they don’t love the excess weight! Not the one who gains it nor the one who has to live with said person.

Or did you ever hear someone say:

“Oooooh I love your cute love-handles and I especially love how they jiggle when you move…. and your bat arms, how huge they are….. or oh I just love how the fat really pushes out your cellulite, I hope you will put even more on…. or I could kiss that double chin of yours all day long….or it looks so hot when your ass tries to eat your shorts….

Not ever did I hear someone say something like that! Ever!

Of course you are still loved when you put on weight, but they love you as a person but they don’t love the extra weight! And no this is not fat shaming! This is pointing out the obvious!

So please men, do yourself a favour, when your partner puts on weight, say, or if you fear for your life, at least do something about it!

But if you are truly happy for your partner to get bigger and your partner is the same, than of course just dismiss the above!

As for me and my fat, I am on the way to recovery and back to my former self by eating healthy and exercise and sleep more!

Franky

My Husband & The Menopause

When my husband lay in bed all horny this morning, I had to dampen his mood by telling him that the Red Sea was currently residing in south under!

He then asks me “…. shouldn’t you get this pause….. this menopause anytime soon?!”

“Excuse me? I AM 40 YEARS OLD!!!….” I am still a spring chicken!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am 40!!! No, Sir! The menopause won’t knock on my door any time soon, or so I believe.

Men, just unbelievable!

Franky

Don’t Let Them Dictate Your Looks!!!

Ever came across an employer who did not like the way you look?

I did! More than once!

Usually I did everything possible to please my bosses. In my case the culprit are my tattoos.

My arms, back, neck and chest are covered but I am still able to hide it under clothes.

When I worked for airports at the check-in and gates I had to wear long sleeved blouses and wear dark tights as I am also tattooed on one leg. I was happy to cover up as despite the bad payment I loved this job!

Every time I go for a job interview I make sure to wear long sleeves and have my hair open so you can’t really see anything.

For 8 months I worked for a very famous 5* hotel here in Scotland. During my induction week we were told, that visible tattoos are no problems as the hotel wants to loosen up.

But 4 months into my job I had several discussions with supervisors etc. about my neck tattoos. In the end the call came from high up, from a person who never even talked to me himself…. he wanted me banned to the back of house, out of guests view! Or to cover my tattoos with plasters. No guest ever said anything, but yes, of course I put a plaster all around my neck! Not that it is unhealthy…. or warm… or itchy….

Instead I cut off my hair so I could wear it without a hair bubble. Yes! That’s what I did. I CUT MY HAIR!!!

But you know what? I am sick of people reducing me to my tattoos!

So many people scream for equality, same wages, acceptance of all sexes, religions, colours, races and so much more.

Everyone wishes to live in a world where people respect each other, so why not tolerate people with more than one tattoo?

If heavily tattooed people keep on hiding their art, they will never get the desired position no matter how suitable they might be. No one will see beyond the colour. No one will see the talented the person.

So I am saying no and stand up for myself. I am a hard worker and if others can’t see that, than they are not the right fit!

Guess there will be a couple of trips to the tattoo shop very soon.

Franky

 

Perception of Joker

Yesterday hubby and me watched the new ‘Joker’ movie and it was great and sad and disturbing and I could identify with the character in so many ways…

Many of us have seen ‘Joker’ movies before and in general the character of the ‘Joker” is a mental person, a twisted one, an evil persona or so it seems on the first look.

When I watched the movie the person I have seen was a deeply sad person. A man who felt invisible to society, to people around him, to women to everyone really. I felt that people would look down at him, laugh at him and no matter how hard he would try, it would never seem enough to be accepted or appreciated or just be honest with him!

How many of you felt that way before? How many of you felt alone? How many of you thought, you are not good enough…. at work, at relationships, friendships….? How many of you felt mistreated? How many of you felt unloved and not pretty enough only because you do things different or think in an unconventional way? How often have you thought, you will never be better or overcome your ‘working class status’?

In today’s world people look at you and judge you in the first few seconds, they make up their mind without putting the effort in, in getting to know you. What for a sad sad thing to do, I hang my head in shame for everyone who acts this way!

Nowadays the first reaction when people hear that someone has mental health problems like bipolar or a form of schizophrenia, ADHS, anxiety and lots of other things is disgust or comments like “they should get their act together”! Why not show a bit compassion, why not ask the person next to you how he/she is doing? Why not ask yourself if you yourself is right in the head? Aren’t we all a bit mental? Don’t we all have problems? For some their problems might be nothing major, for others it might be the end of the world….

So here I sit now, reminiscing…. and let me tell you the following:

I don’t know you, I don’t know your story but I know you are out there and I feel for you! It might not be today or tomorrow, but the day will come where you see the light in the end of the tunnel and you will feel better! And whoever tries to tell you, you are not right or not good enough, do not listen to them! You are unique and perfect in every way and you are loved and you will be cherished! You might not know it now or not have found the one just yet, but there is someone who can’t wait to meet you and give you what you are looking for and what you deserve! Don’t forget to breathe, do smile, do laugh and make the best of life as you deserve nothing but the best!

Do not give up, ever!

Franky

 

 

Parenthood is so hard…

I have been a parent for almost 18 years now. Longer if you count the pregnancy as well.

When my first born arrived it felt just right. I loved my son straight away despite the fact that he looked like a very red spotty beetle. Motherly love, eh?

When my second one arrived 1 year and 5 month later it was love again, not at (first) sight as she looked like a sumo wrestler baby but fortunately she outgrew that very quickly.

Having them both together was fun and for a long time it was only us, the three musketeers. We had our routine and were happy. But it was also very exhausting and there were days when I had to lock myself in the bathroom for a couple of minutes for a good cry….

Than 10 years later a second beloved daughter arrived and oh she was perfect! I had given up on the fact that when my children are born they have to grow into beautiful individuals but she, my Cailleach, was perfect!

Two years after Cailleach our second son arrived 6 weeks premature but strong and healthy given the circumstances and also so handsome!

Thinking I was exhausted when I had the first two, I can only laugh! Never had I such ferocious dark baggy circles under my eyes which on a daily basis said hello to my knees! I even cried from sleep deprivation as the two little monsters wanted nothing but mommies boobies and arms to be held 24/7 for over a year from the time they arrived.

But if you think toddlerhood is exhausting, wait until you have teenagers. Female teenagers to be precise.

They can be so stubborn, they have their own mind and ways and that is totally fine- as long you don’t live under one roof!

They can be so incredibly lazy that you want to pull your hair out or better theirs and only help around the house if you

a) threaten

or

b) pay them

or

c) well they usually don’t even blink an eyelash when it comes to help out anyway….

I know I should be more considerate, I should just let them be, but the thing is:

My 7 year old daughter is already developing the same attitude! SHE IS 7!!! And I just can’t have another one of this type! It is just too much with everything else going on like paying off a house, finding a proper job that makes me happy with a good wage, getting my garden done (spend hours so far gardening), trying to get the rest of my house done, trying to figure out how to pay for all this….

At the moment I just want peace and quiet. I don’t want to feel sad and tired and puzzled trying to figure out what to do and how to survive another day!

In an ideal world I would come home from a job I love to find my house clean and tidy.

In an ideal world I would be able to make breakfast and cook.

In an ideal world I wouldn’t have to worry about my children’s homework and education.

But this is not an ideal world.

I wished I could stop being a mum, just for a bit, to be able to breath and take care of myself…

I wished it would get easier, but it never does.

But we keep on marching and we keep on loving.

Franky

From Vegan to Prescetarian

The transition was not difficult at all, but the decision to do this step was.

I have been a vegetarian for a loooong time and have been a vegan for three years.

Both as vegetarian and vegan I got my blood tested at least once per year to make sure I don’t have any deficiencies. My blood results where always fine, nothing to worry about.

It can take up to one year for your body to adjust to a new lifestyle. So far so good.

But since I became a vegan and looking back on it now I recently realised that I was/am constantly tired, I have put on a bit of weight but worse of all I was constantly ill. Not sickly ill that I needed to stay in bed but often cold ridden which in my case often results in nasty and painful sinus infections. And there is nothing worse than to walk around for days with swollen tiny mole eyes!!!

So I came across a study and to keep it short it basically said that though your blood results can be perfectly fine, your macrobiotics which are to be found in your gut/colon might be out of balance as apparently you get more of those macrobiotics from meat rather than plants.

Vegans and vegetarians might argue this and I would have too but when you are constantly ill and tired… at some point you just have enough and you question your diet which I did.

Of course it could be for totally different reasons like getting older, too much work and stress and too little exercise….

But at the current moment I just need more energy. Enough energy to actual enjoy my spare time with family and friends and not going to bed straight away when I come home.

So I decided to add seafood to my vegan diet which makes me a prescetarian. I will continue this diet for a year and see if something changes which I really hope.

Nighty night everyone.

Franky

Why do we cry???

We often hear

“…..let it all out…. just cry…..you feel better after it….”

We cry because we are sad, because we are angry, because we are disappointed and probably because of lots of other things, but does it really make you feel better? Does it change the view or the reason you cried?

We cry because basically we are hurt!

I recently attended a friends funeral. When I heard the sad news I thought I kept it good together. There was a small tear….

I was fine driving down to Wales. I was fine checking into my hotel and have a stroll around the little town and the beach. I slept okay.

I was fine while standing with many others in front of the doors to the little chapel and I also kept it together during mess but when my late friends widow hugged me I really, really had to swallow my tears back and when I was on my way to my car I felt them roll down my cheeks.

So why is that? Is it because I don’t get to talk to him or see him again? Is it because of missed opportunities?

Why do we cry when we argue or when a boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you or your partner divorces you?

Is it because we know we will not share our future together? Is it because we know we want have anymore nice moments together? Is it because the future is unclear now?

Looking at it from a distance we should know these things happen, people die, people can turn on you, people don’t want to be with you, it’s just how the world is and yet we are still hurt by actions.

I personally think, “letting it all out” does not make me feel better, if anything it makes me feel worse, tired and yes even tired of life and how life treats me! Not to mention my eyes! After a good  long cry I look like a boxer after a 12 round fight, really no kidding.

It would be nice if there was a button to switch certain emotions on and off, don’t you agree?

Franky