Author: Franky tells it like it is

So this is the "About Me" part: So this is the about me bit: Happily married (though marriage is hard work most of the time) with 4 (yes 4!) children (I don't know what I thought back then, no just kidding, I love my pack), finally living in my happy place Scotland. Yes, I am tattooed, maybe a bit screwed, even more impatient, love a good whisky, laugh and life even when I have to walk the rocky path (and I too often walk the rocky path, SIGH). My core principles: - Never work with money you don't have - Never judge a book by its cover - Treat people the way you want to be treated I write about everything that floats around my mind so if you would like to find out more, read my blog, get in touch, follow me.

Men & Fat

Over the past two years I put on weight. It was gradually. Either I didn’t realise it or I didn’t care to realise. Either way, my point is, my husband did not tell me! Which really annoys me!

And no beloved male readers, there is no catch! I for one, want to get told, when I put on weight! And no, I will not throw a fit or cry all day long about how mean you are!

I mean, you fall in love with someone. Because of their looks and of course because of the intellect! So when one of the couple gradually puts on weight, it is not what you fell in love with and no they don’t love the excess weight! Not the one who gains it nor the one who has to live with said person.

Or did you ever hear someone say:

“Oooooh I love your cute love-handles and I especially love how they jiggle when you move…. and your bat arms, how huge they are….. or oh I just love how the fat really pushes out your cellulite, I hope you will put even more on…. or I could kiss that double chin of yours all day long….or it looks so hot when your ass tries to eat your shorts….

Not ever did I hear someone say something like that! Ever!

Of course you are still loved when you put on weight, but they love you as a person but they don’t love the extra weight! And no this is not fat shaming! This is pointing out the obvious!

So please men, do yourself a favour, when your partner puts on weight, say, or if you fear for your life, at least do something about it!

But if you are truly happy for your partner to get bigger and your partner is the same, than of course just dismiss the above!

As for me and my fat, I am on the way to recovery and back to my former self by eating healthy and exercise and sleep more!

Franky

Christmas Songs

I just got back from work, I am still in my work clothes and starved, turn on the radio and what do I hear?!

Christmas songs! Already! One after the other!

But I must admit:

This time it was the nice type of Christmas songs, you know all the old classics like        Bing Crosby and not the most awful song ever: Band Aid! I am sorry but THAT is no Christmas song! Yes, I get their point, I get that those singers try to change things but when you really listen to this song, it is so depressing and no offence, but that is not what I would like to listen to during Christmas time!

Right, my shrimp curry is ready, I keep on listening to the radio while I stuff my face!

Franky

A year after our house-buy

This month a year ago, we bought our lovely cottage here in good old Scotland.

What I didn’t know back then is that I don’t need my own home to be happy!

I also didn’t know that I would find it so hard to stay, to be rooted at one spot…. I keep on searching for nicer spots to live, my roots keep on telling me, that this might not be it!

A year ago all we had in mind was to buy a house in a lovely area and get rid of the spider infested (they where gigantic!!!) cottage we rented in a not so nice area.

We didn’t really think it all through. At least not properly.

Now I know that it isn’t that bad to live in the middle of nowhere, that there will be school buses/taxis for pupils and that when you are sick and bed ridden or older, the doctor will come out to you! And when their is no village store, you think twice if you really have to drive to the next store for a purchase or if you just cook something from scratch and therefor even save money!

Lets face it, food stores, post office, doctors is nothing but a luxury but you don’t really need it to survive, do you? It’s convenient, I totally agree.

Though our small town has only a population of around 2000, I still find it way to crowded, especially in summer when all the tourists are passing through…

When I was running this morning up to the waterfalls and further up the mountains, hitting snow, there was a lovely cottage on the way. Tucked away from roads with mountain and field views. Now that is what I would prefer. I could let me cats out, not worrying if someone might try to steal them (they are Siamese) or whether they could get hit by a car.

Though we knew how much we could borrow, we really shouldn’t have! We should have settled for a cheaper house! Sooner or later we would have found one!

Now that my husband was made redundant (cost cutting) and me job hunting as well, the money is very tight and soon gone which is frightening!

So whoever is out there, ask yourself the following:

Do I really need shops, doctors, schools, bus and/or train connection?

Is this the area I really want to settle?

Is this the house I can see myself grow old in and can I really afford and maintain it?

Think about the “what if’s”…

If everything ticks your boxes, go for it, if there is even one box where you would have to compromise, I personally would say, “no”, but that is up to you, of course!

As for me, I know better times will come, maybe even another house, I just keep going and make the best out of it!

Franky

My Husband & The Menopause

When my husband lay in bed all horny this morning, I had to dampen his mood by telling him that the Red Sea was currently residing in south under!

He then asks me “…. shouldn’t you get this pause….. this menopause anytime soon?!”

“Excuse me? I AM 40 YEARS OLD!!!….” I am still a spring chicken!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am 40!!! No, Sir! The menopause won’t knock on my door any time soon, or so I believe.

Men, just unbelievable!

Franky

Don’t Let Them Dictate Your Looks!!!

Ever came across an employer who did not like the way you look?

I did! More than once!

Usually I did everything possible to please my bosses. In my case the culprit are my tattoos.

My arms, back, neck and chest are covered but I am still able to hide it under clothes.

When I worked for airports at the check-in and gates I had to wear long sleeved blouses and wear dark tights as I am also tattooed on one leg. I was happy to cover up as despite the bad payment I loved this job!

Every time I go for a job interview I make sure to wear long sleeves and have my hair open so you can’t really see anything.

For 8 months I worked for a very famous 5* hotel here in Scotland. During my induction week we were told, that visible tattoos are no problems as the hotel wants to loosen up.

But 4 months into my job I had several discussions with supervisors etc. about my neck tattoos. In the end the call came from high up, from a person who never even talked to me himself…. he wanted me banned to the back of house, out of guests view! Or to cover my tattoos with plasters. No guest ever said anything, but yes, of course I put a plaster all around my neck! Not that it is unhealthy…. or warm… or itchy….

Instead I cut off my hair so I could wear it without a hair bubble. Yes! That’s what I did. I CUT MY HAIR!!!

But you know what? I am sick of people reducing me to my tattoos!

So many people scream for equality, same wages, acceptance of all sexes, religions, colours, races and so much more.

Everyone wishes to live in a world where people respect each other, so why not tolerate people with more than one tattoo?

If heavily tattooed people keep on hiding their art, they will never get the desired position no matter how suitable they might be. No one will see beyond the colour. No one will see the talented the person.

So I am saying no and stand up for myself. I am a hard worker and if others can’t see that, than they are not the right fit!

Guess there will be a couple of trips to the tattoo shop very soon.

Franky

 

Perception of Joker

Yesterday hubby and me watched the new ‘Joker’ movie and it was great and sad and disturbing and I could identify with the character in so many ways…

Many of us have seen ‘Joker’ movies before and in general the character of the ‘Joker” is a mental person, a twisted one, an evil persona or so it seems on the first look.

When I watched the movie the person I have seen was a deeply sad person. A man who felt invisible to society, to people around him, to women to everyone really. I felt that people would look down at him, laugh at him and no matter how hard he would try, it would never seem enough to be accepted or appreciated or just be honest with him!

How many of you felt that way before? How many of you felt alone? How many of you thought, you are not good enough…. at work, at relationships, friendships….? How many of you felt mistreated? How many of you felt unloved and not pretty enough only because you do things different or think in an unconventional way? How often have you thought, you will never be better or overcome your ‘working class status’?

In today’s world people look at you and judge you in the first few seconds, they make up their mind without putting the effort in, in getting to know you. What for a sad sad thing to do, I hang my head in shame for everyone who acts this way!

Nowadays the first reaction when people hear that someone has mental health problems like bipolar or a form of schizophrenia, ADHS, anxiety and lots of other things is disgust or comments like “they should get their act together”! Why not show a bit compassion, why not ask the person next to you how he/she is doing? Why not ask yourself if you yourself is right in the head? Aren’t we all a bit mental? Don’t we all have problems? For some their problems might be nothing major, for others it might be the end of the world….

So here I sit now, reminiscing…. and let me tell you the following:

I don’t know you, I don’t know your story but I know you are out there and I feel for you! It might not be today or tomorrow, but the day will come where you see the light in the end of the tunnel and you will feel better! And whoever tries to tell you, you are not right or not good enough, do not listen to them! You are unique and perfect in every way and you are loved and you will be cherished! You might not know it now or not have found the one just yet, but there is someone who can’t wait to meet you and give you what you are looking for and what you deserve! Don’t forget to breathe, do smile, do laugh and make the best of life as you deserve nothing but the best!

Do not give up, ever!

Franky

 

 

The hatred of professional cat breeders

Recently I was really taken aback from the hatred of some professional cat breeders when I have thrown a question into a Siamese forum on Facebook.

I had a question about cats on heat and mating and the backlash was so bad, I left the group!

Without question me, words like “backyard breeder” and “no clue about anything” or “get your cats neutered!!!”, “they end up in shelters” where thrown right into my face.

To explain: I do have a siamese couple and I would like them to have kittens, once maybe twice maximum before I get them neutered. In the first place to keep one of the babies for myself.

I joined the group to exchange thoughts and help each other but I did not expect people to be so rude and I wonder:

Why? Do only professional breeders think, they have the right to breed because they register their cats?!

Or do they feel threaded because non registered cats sell cheaper and professional breeders might not have a good chance to make as much money?

I am not a thoughtless person, you know?

Of course I read a lot about kitten birth, what and what not to do…. aftercare etc, complications…

Of course I get them health checked, wormed and fully vaccinated! The kittens will be surrounded by family members and toilet trained and once weened off on raw food like their parents.

And most importantly I will have a proper look and check on the people who want them, like, can they afford them, do they know anything about Siamese and so on.

It is truly sad that there are still people out there who are so judgemental…

Franky