Month: August 2020

Tested My Own Theory

A while ago I wrote a post about crying and why it does nothing to you.

So there I was,  more or less three weeks ago, testing my own theory.

And I was NOT a willing participate, I might ad!

But unfortunately my flood gates thought otherwise. I was literally crying my eyes out, bawling and hugging my whiskey bottle.

I cried when it happened on my way to work, during work, on my way back home (fortunately no one saw my sorry state) and finally at home in bed.

I cried for days… many, many days. Every time I thought I was getting better, something set me off and I had difficulties to swallow my hot tears back down.

Do I still cry? No! I feel numb and sad.

The result is still as it was in my actual post:

Crying does nothing to you! And it certainly does not make you feel better!!!

Quite the opposite actually: All it does, it exhausts you and makes you look like a fat ugly toad!

But apparently sometimes it can’t be helped!

Still proud that my theory is right, though (clapping myself on the shoulder)!


Focus? Non Existent!

I got home from work an hour ago and guess what?!

I still sit here with my sweaty ass work clothes on the kitchen table, not knowing what to do with myself…

I got back from work, fetched the kittens and went to the vet, got back, ate, ate too much actually and now I am sitting here…

The shower is calling my name, but all I want is to put my head on the kitchen table and just stare ahead as I can’t focus on anything!

I think I should get my backside up and go running tomorrow morning before work. That is if the weather isn’t too bad as we are expecting severe downpours with flooding.

Sooo… I will mull the running bit over while I take a nice, long, cold shower. Up I go… SIGH.


Just Say It

The song of your voice is always on my mind

I take one step at the time

But the sun

That once shone just for me

Seems so far away

I might never reach it

Ever again

I wish you would

Just say something

To set my heart free

As right now

It is heavy

And frozen

And unbearable

So just say it

Tell me what you desire

Is it my hands

You wish on your body

Caressing you

My lips on yours

To never stop

A voice that whispers

Sweet nothings in your ear

What do you want

What do you need

Just say it





I am very good in multitasking! And in getting drunk for no a (whatever) reason!

While I am off today, the weather is great for good old Scotland, I am sitting here in my living room, listening to the fabulous           Teskey Brothers (for anyone who loves real good voices/music, not the pop crap that you hear 24/7 in radio, check them out!) while at the same time I am stuffing my face with crisps, drinking whiskey and working on another post!

The music is on full blast, my living room door shut and my thoughts all over the place.



We Can’t Stay In the Moment

The babies (yes, I know they are hardly babies but to me they will be even when they are all grown up one day) and me went for a short break up to Findhorn. While it was land-under-pouring-down in mid Scotland, we spend two lovely warm days at the beach!

The picture below pretty much sums it up:

I wanted to stay in that moment forever! It was just us, we had fun, it was peaceful, we didn’t rush. But the world does not stop spinning only because one want it to. And I know the clouds who are overcasting everything will eventually move for the sun to shine. I just don’t know when….




I don’t eat

And I don’t sleep

Though there is nothing

I’d rather do but sleep

To make it to the next day

My brain is able to comprehend

But my heart is in denial

About you ever coming back

To me