Month: July 2020

Cut Off

You just cut me off

It was like ripping off

A plaster

It was fast and without warning

Only that is was

A piece of my heart

You ripped out

It will never stop bleeding

Because my piece is stored

Like a trophy on your shelf

Catching dust

And only the one

Who inflicts pain

Is able to soothe the pain

Only you are not willing

As you just cut me off

Definition Of Insanity

Half a decade later

Broken so many times

I lost count

It should hurt but it feels sweet

I just can’t fight you

It feels so right

It can’t be wrong

You keep walking with my heart


Are my safe place

Your voice in my mind gives me the best kind of goosebumps

Dancing around from my head to my toes

Your crazy has my crazy completely transfixed

Never thought I could be your

Bonnie and you my


Nothing can stop us

Sorrow and regret tries to follow

In our wake of hot mess

But we are always a step ahead

And all I can see is


And me






Post Lock-Down

The lock down in Scotland has finally come to an end. Well almost. Some shops are still closed as well as gyms, beauty salons etc… When I drove home yesterday, the place I live was filled with tourists and it looked like any other ordinary summer- as if nothing has changed!

I am back to work and it is really tough! I am still in hospitality and everything has to be deep cleaned due to the pandemic! The future is unclear as the hotel needs to let go of staff from all areas. I am not concerned though. When one door shuts another will open- is how I think.

I really appreciated staying at home. It gave me time to actually try to breath and spend time with my family. Sure in the end I would have loved to go somewhere else but it was what it was and we all made the best of it. No big sacrifice!

But what it has shown me, is how much I miss to have my friends around! And I am not talking about going out on a drink binge. No. What I mean are the daily things you would do like grocery shopping, walks, exercise, talk and have a laugh about everything and nothing! I just miss enjoy my friends company!

I don’t have that here. I am too busy with work to actually try to join activities to make friends. And than there is the thing about me being picky when it comes to friends! I am one of the few who has a handful of real friends and the rest are more acquaintances!

Of course I am in contact via WhatsApp and Facebook. With some on a daily basis with other less and I live in the fear that they might drift away from me…

But hey, that’s life, right?

Right now, I am sitting in my kitchen. The sun is shining through the window, begging me to come out and tend to the jungle of a garden, but the shouts of my vegan, gluten free mac & cheese are louder!