Month: May 2020

Dreams Are Ten A Penny

Dreams are ten a penny….

If that was really true, humankind would be total chaos. At least that’s what I think.

I like to dream! All the time!

I daydream on my way to work, I daydream queuing somewhere and I daydream when I hear a great song. I dream just before I fall asleep and often I remember what I dreamt while actual being asleep.

It is a way of taking my mind off the daily struggle and trouble.

To hold onto your dreams is like holding on to hope, because you want that dream to eventually come true!

You just have to believe in it. And that is the key point! If you don’t believe in your dreams, you don’t ‘t believe in yourself and in your ability to make whatever you desire come true!

So let’s keep on dreaming as without dreams and the hope that comes with it, the world would be a very sad place…

I wrote this while listening to the great Aretha Franklin


Mothers & Daughters

While I was eating my breakfast, contemplating whether I should go for a run with my stiff calf or not, I was watching my little daughter sitting opposite me.

She was playing all content with her little dolls. She does things like that for hours. Playing with her little toy dolls, drawing and creating things.

I was not like that when I was little. Yes, I would always ask for things like Barbies and pencils and so on and when I received them I also used the things. For a bit! No matter the item I pretty much lost interest very soon. As in hours! Which annoyed my parents as they didn’t want to waste money on me.

My children have no problem to play with each other all day long or play separately on their own. I on the other hand had a 6 years younger sister which had no use to me and playing on my own? It felt like a slow painful death!

I find it amazing when you think about your children and see how different they are to yourself or exactly like you: My older daughter is exactly like me! The attitude, the look, the mind. THE MIND! That is the only thing which keeps me from strangling her as she is the daily reminder of what I was like when I was her age. Ommmmmmmm.

When I think about my mother and me…. I still wonder to this day if I am really her biological child! Where I always wanted to live with my grandma and couldn’t wait until I was able to move out my children actually love it at home. They even tell me they love me, so all in all I am not doing too bad.


When People Around You Are Sensitive…

… what do you do?

There were various occasions where people would act very sensitive to things I said. Friends and family of mine were upset and offended by me and I wonder:

If you can’t speak your mind, doesn’t it deprive you of who you are? As for me, I don’t like to walk on eggshells only because others can’t handle my opinion or the way I talk!

Here are some examples:

  • Once or twice I commented on my sisters facebook pictures. I commented on a very ugly granny blouse. And I wasn’t even nasty about it! I said something along the lines “that’s a nice hippy granny look”. The other thing I can’t even remember but what I can remember is that my mother had a go at me for my comments! My dear sister (I love you- in case you read this) didn’t even have the guts to tell me herself! Sometimes I think it might be better to not tell her my piece of mind just to not upset her… On rare occasions I manage to wrap it in candy cotton and start with “I believe…” “how would you feel…” “if I was in your shoes…” which works just fine with her. But the key words here are “rare” and “occasions”…
  • I was with one of my dear friends. We had a conversation. I don’t know what it was about. It was a long time ago. However she said that I am so direct and straight forward it upsets her sometimes. Now, I did appreciate her telling me as I believe it is not easy to confront me as I can be very harsh. Eventually she grew a thick skin!
  • When I was for a walk with my friend who lives in the street opposite, we talked what has happened in the past few weeks and she asked how a certain person is doing (I can’t expose this friend in detail as I don’t know if I am aloud to talk about the topic). I said that he has casual sex dates since he split up from his partner and that he really enjoys the ‘no strings attached thing’. She got very quiet and slightly changed the topic. Maybe I shouldn’t mention something like that to an extremely  christian person. My bad. But that shows me what to avoid with her. And though she is a very nice, beautiful and kind person, I am glad that I have my also very nice, beautiful, kind but bad ass ‘lets go for a hellbender’ friends overseas!

The thing is, I just can’t help myself! I speak my mind before my brain can react. Thanks to the Gods that my few but true friends are mostly like minded and love me for me!



Like many of us, I love the rather new series “Killing Eve”! And (like Eve) I wonder:

How does the mind of an assassin work? What does it take to kill someone? How do you become an assassin?

Do you have to have a twisted mind, a bad childhood, lots of rage boiling inside of you in order to be a contract killer? Do they have multiple personalities?

Do assassins think about their job as just a job like every other? Is it financial motivation or just the joy to kill? Or is it the joy of planning, being focused and strategic?

Do they want to know things about their target or do they just follow instructions and orders without any emotions whatsoever?

And when they executed the mission, do they think about it afterwards? I wonder if an assassin regrets and feels remorse or if they really truly just see it as a job done?

And if an assassin has family- how do they conceal what he/she is doing? Does the family know?

Guess I will never know as I don’t know any assassins or at least I don’t think I do!

As for me, I don’t think I would be able to do it. I probably would make it private and would want to know things about my target. Considering if it is worth the kill, the money and whether my target deserves to die. Than again, who am I to decide whether someone lives or not?

Though on the other hand I would like to believe that I would see it as “just a job” and that I would be able to differentiate or shut down my personal feelings since I am a pragmatic person…

But we will never know all the real answers to my questions and musings…


Kitty Is Pregnant

Finally, finally my sweet kitty Belle is pregnant! For month her mate tried. And nothing. Every two weeks she was in heat. Do you know how loud Siamese cats can be when they are in heat? Normal cats are pretty loud already, but she?! It’s deafening!!!

I think for at least 5 month Blue got his leg over- he was a very lucky furry guy! Now all he is is frustrated as now Belle is growling at him whenever he tries to mount her. Poor boy, but he will survive!

By the end of May or early June we should have sweet cute little Siamese. We already decided we will keep one of them, depending of how many there are.

But I can’t decide what colour. They will be either blue point which really looks like a mix of white and grey and seal point which is a mix of cream and dark brown. The older Siamese get the darker they turn and when they are born they are all white. Belle is a slim elegant seal point girl and Blue is a blue point chubby boy but his eyes… oh so big and deep blue! Both very affectionate, though Belle only likes to get stroked on her back when she comes to sit on your lap. Blue? He loves a full body massage 24/7!

As you can see, I can’t stop gushing and since I am such a nice person and have nothing better to do right now, I thought I let you all know!

If I wouldn’t find it cruel to breed cats non stop, I would supply all of north Scotland with Siamese. Firstly to keep the breed alive and strong and secondly to have a drop in the price as in average a Siamese costs around +£300,-. I always wonder why? Why do pedigree cats have to be more expansive than domestic house cats? Food, toys, vet- it’s all the same price! Insurance may vary but even that is not much higher. And if the purchase costs of pedigree cats would be lower or the same as domestic house cats, I believe the crime rate in regards to abductions would go down- why abduct a kitty when you can (finally) afford one yourself? You see: It would be a win-win situation!

 And here are my sweet kitties Blue and Belle aka Bluebell



Why Do You Use A Shopping List?!

When I do a bigger shopping I usually drive over to Stirling or Alloa as our little town, or “village” as I call it, has only a Co-op and Tesco Express. And since corona, stock is low and prices high as usual (both shops). So to make sure I get everything my belly craves, the bigger town(s) it is.

Yesterday I found myself in Aldi. Of course I keep my distance, my hands and trolley are sanitised. I am prepared, my shopping list in hand. I know what I need and so I queue near the meat isle. A lady is right at the front. I wait….and wait….and others start to wait as well as she also blocked the isle by standing right in the middle, staring at the meat-


Woman?!? You have the list in your hand! What possesses you to stand there, staring a hole in she shelve? I don’t understand! Did someone else write the list and you can’t read the handwriting? Have you forgotten to read all together? At least have the courtesy to let others pass!

I wonder: When you have a shopping list, what takes you so long?

All I wanted was to get my shopping done as swift as possible. In and out! But nooooo, there I stood, giving her the death stare, silently talking to myself, trying to convince myself that it is not and I repeat NOT, a good idea to run her over with my trolley, telling the judge later that is was an accident while actually thinking to myself that she had it coming and that it was karma!

Some people… no words.

But you will be happy to hear that I got my shopping done eventually and nobody, deserved or not, got hurt!

Stay save and happy wherever you are