Month: May 2018


via Daily Prompt: Doppelgänger

When I was a teenager of around 14, I was marching with a lot of other pupils down the road because it was the yearly German “schuetzenfest” which is a traditional festival/fair featuring a target shooting competition.

Of course the local newspaper was around as well to get some nice pictures from the parade.

When the latest newspaper was out my mother all proud pointed me out, only that it wasn’t me!

I was not marching at the front of the parade and the jacket was different from mine and I didn’t own those shoes he/she has worn either, but this boy or girl (back then my hair was short), looked exactly like me! The haircut, the face, weight, exactly like me. I had to look twice, but no, not me!

How odd is that?

You always hear that somewhere in the world you have a doppelganger and I see mine… on a picture…in the newspaper… walking down the same street at the same day, at the same time, only a couple of 100 meters away.

Unfortunately that was the first and last time I have seen him or her.


This year no (running) summer blues!

Every year I get the summer blues like many get the winter blues.

Yes, really! The warmer it gets, the fouler my mood! It is the heat. It makes me lazy and lethargic.

But since I started running again, I am determined not to get run over by this reoccurring little devil.

Oh no!

I didn’t do any running for over a year and I didn’t miss it. I thought maybe I lost my mojo, but when I got out, running in Swaledale with hubby, I really got in the mood.

Sure, my overall condition was far from good and I was yapping for air, but I felt good!

To see how good and if my knee would hold up, husband and me ran every second day and to push it even further it was always a hill run and my knee was surprisingly fine!

The other day we ran part of the DT20 race route but kept it to a 10 miler. Climbing up Fremington Edge is really tough but the more often you do it, the easier it gets.

I know I could run a half marathon, but I just need to get back to my old form. The longer the run, the more relaxed I get.

And there is nothing nicer than the feeling when you have archived a marathon or even ultra marathon.

So my aim for now is to keep on doing hill training in the Dales up until we move house and next year I want to do the Isle of Arran ultra which this nice fella wrote about:

Ultraboy runs.

I am sure that’s how he calls himself, but I just couldn’t find him though I always followed his posts.


That is the race I want to run next year! So fingers crossed to keep up the good running spirits!


Beautiful Edinburgh

Past week we travelled up to Edinburgh for business and a stroll around.

I have been to Edinburgh many times before but every time it takes my breath away.

After many years loving the big city I decided it is time for a rural location to live.

I got really tired to all this hectic and no “hellos” in big cities. And that was not only in one city in particular, no it was all over the UK.

But not in good old Edinburgh! There is not a single area I don’t like and even people seem more relaxed and would I have the budget (sadly money is still not growing out of my pocket, but I am working on a solution), I would definitely consider this beautiful place my forever home!

Maybe I am spoiled because every time I have been to Edinburgh I always had good weather and good weather in my case is dry weather!

But hey, should we eventually get the house (surely you read my last post), I am only a short hop away! And should I even find work in Edinburgh, I get to be there every day.

Happy days, happy daydreaming (though I also daydream of Orkney….).


Finding the right house

Oh where do I start???

Finding the right house for us is so difficult.

If it was up to me, I would have chosen a house which is more traditional, something like a cottage with a lot of fireplaces and a nice big garden like my grandma had for the children.

It would be, of course, in Scotland, as Scotland is my happy place!

The location ideally should have a train station and should not be too far away from the next bigger city to get to work.

It should have at least 4 bedrooms and a shower as I absolutely detest bathtubs.

Not to forget wooden flooring. If you have 4 wild children, okay, okay and a wild mother, carpets will not stay clean for long! And I am sick of scrubbing on all fours on a regular basis stains out of carpets plus don’t you think wooden flooring is so pretty?

So far so good.

If it was up to my husband it would be a new built, a bathtub and a study for him. That is all he wants. He doesn’t even think about how to get to work as he believes, it is cheaper to go by car. In the long run I believe, public commuting is easier and cheaper as you don’t have to maintain busses and trains yourself, but okay, what do I know?!

I always have seen myself growing old in a location by the beach.

We went from

Edinburgh (too expansive for our budget) to

Isle of Skye (highly unlikely my children will stay on the island if they want to pursue a career) to

Isle of Arran (hello jobs?!) to

Isle of Orkney (hubby thinks we can’t get jobs, I disagree as the island is seeking for more people to live there) to

St. Andrews (again too expansive) to

Aberdeen (also quite expansive) to

Garelochhead (only house up there was not in the best condition) to

Glasgow coast (a house we wanted got sold to someone else) back to

Fife area

where we, after travelling along the coast house viewing, put an offer down on a house which is beautiful but not in the location I would have desired.

I wanted coast, I got the Firth of Forth.

I wanted a train station,  the village only has a bus station.

Well at least there is a huge national park/mountains nearby which is also very important for outdoor activities.

However,the offer was accepted, around £13.000 under the market price, but slightly over our budget as we have to put down a whopping deposit of £38.500!

Yes, I was choking too and wished we would have just continued looking for a house on Orkney as the prices are lower and jobs are developing.

So back to the deposit. The deposit we are still waiting on. My dearest father will lend us the money but is waiting for the money himself from a property he sold.

You see, though we already signed the papers for the mortgage, we, no my husband actually, is worried we might not get the money in time and therefor the mortgage lender could retract the offered amount.

According to my father and the contract, the money should arrive by the end of this month, but I heard that so many times before.

As everyone who was or is in a similar situation may know, blood pressure is high at the current moment.

Oh, totally forgot to mention, we have to be out of our current humble abode by the first of August which was already extended from the first of June!

So what if the house buy falls through?

I wonder how difficult it would be to find something to rent? As again, my husband wants a different location than me! He would want to be near Edinburgh because of work which I totally get, but my heart is still up in Orkney because I believe we could make it work!

Well I shall keep you updated.


What my future may hold

Like so many teenagers I was not really interested in school.

Don’t get me wrong, as a good girl would, I went to school every day and arrived on time, I followed the lessons and tried to get whatever teachers threw at me into my head.

Thing is:

I always had to work really hard to get somewhat good grades and having parents who eventually have given up on me because they didn’t know what else to do to make me understand that school, as boring as it seems, is very important, didn’t help either.

Most subjects in school didn’t interest me and the

now I begin to see

moment just wouldn’t sink in. At. All.

So I graduated with what you would call average, more or less, was trained as a law secretary, again only average as this was the last job available and not really what I wanted….

Forward 20 odd years later with 4 children and a husband I finally realized that I could have done so much better. And that realization niggled at me for quite some time.

It is a shame really that humans don’t be born wise! What troubles could we spare us!

So I started to study anatomy and physiology to become a sports massage therapist and passed!

I learned so much, did online quizzes, studied with flashcards until I got everything in my head and while I did so I thought, that is exactly what I should have done back then! I should have learned and put effort in.

Yeah well, should have, could have, would have… we can’t turn back time so I pushed the thought away.

As I said, I passed and can call myself a sports massage therapist from now on.


Question is, will I find something? I actually wanted to get another diploma for traditional Swedish massage, but money at the moment is more than tight.

OK, tight is the understatement of the day, heck what do I say, of the month!

We are skinned as we are going to move house, hopefully mid July but there are so many ginormous stones in our way, you have no idea, but if you are interested in why, read my next blog!



via Daily Prompt: Premature

I never thought I would give birth to a premature baby, even when he was born only 6 weeks early.

The first two times I was pregnant I was induced as labour just wouldn’t happen and my babies more than content in their little quarter.

9 days the first time overdue and 4 days the second, because I threatened the hospital I wouldn’t leave the premises until my baby is born!

Well as it happens my body didn’t want to deliver the natural way. It was like my lady parts where on strike.

So c-sections it was which was fine as I thought, as long my babies are safe and healthy I don’t care which way they are delivered.

Number 3 was a planned c-section as number with number 2 I had a hidden rupture which means, the outer layers of the c-section scar started to open…

Apparently everything was fine according to the doctors so we where blessed with our final baby number 4 but at 27 weeks I developed a burning sensation around the scar.

I phoned my midwife first, she told me to phone the hospital straight away and keep her updated. So I phoned the maternity ward in hospital (back then we where based in Holland) and explained the problem and also that I had a hidden rupture before. They said, they don’t think it is something major and wouldn’t see me, but could give me an appointment in a weeks time!

I put the phone down and redialled my midwife for further assistance. What can I say? She was great, got me an appointment for the same day in Germany near the Dutch/German border.

When we arrived and I explained to the CHIEF (such a lovely understanding gentlemen!) of the hospital what ales me he asked me to come through right away for a scan.

It turned out my scar thinned down to only 5cm-

A healthy thickness of such a scar would be between 10 and 13cm!

To keep it short:

After staying in the comfy hospital bed (showering only once per week while sitting on a chair) for 7 weeks with a lot of drips/tubes (very uncomfortable to sleep with) and medication, they planned the c-section at 34+0 weeks as the scar thinned further down to 3cm and they did not want to risk a complete rupture.

So my beautiful baby boy was born at 34+0 weeks with 2600g and 46cm.

Although the nurses and doctors told me he was big and heavy for his week, to me he looked so tiny (my heaviest/biggest was 4830g and 57cm!), in an incubator with lots of tubes sticking out of him and his lungs where not fully developed so that it also looked like he has a whole in the chest.

But after a week they removed almost all tubes and after 2 weeks I was even able to breast feed him. 10 weeks later in total we where allowed home.

Today you wouldn’t know he was premature. He is a healthy wild boy and I love him like all my other children to bits!

I would have loved two more little ones, but the risk of another hidden rupture is just too high and I wouldn’t want my baby to be born under such circumstances (again).


I am back

I have neglected my blog for quite some time now.

And I haven’t even followed/read other blogs either.

All the time I felt tired, rushed and pressured to get all my daily chores done that I just postponed writing as well as running and even exercising. Oh and my diet wasn’t the healthiest either! Still vegan, but even vegans can be very unhealthy.

I never did either of the above before.

Since I have been working in the evenings for over 1 1/2 years, I am constantly sleep deprived and feel unbalanced which lead to an annoying tinnitus, mood swings and laziness to the extend that whenever I had a day off, all I wanted was sleep or watch tv without even have to bat an eyelash, never mind cooking or cleaning…

Oh not to forget the state of myself. Spotty with so huge puffy bags under my eyes, they could reach my knees on a good day!!!

So yes, it is time to get my act together, look after myself and concentrate on the future.

But more about that in my next blog.