Month: February 2016

When your knickers play hide & seek

6 o’clock in this morning.

A very tired mommy drags her carcass with a 2 year old downstairs.

Mentioned 2 year old Cash demands a cocoa.  He is still in his pyjamas, I am only in vest and knickers.

So while I make a cocoa for Cash, he stays behind me, squeezes my bum, looking for my knickers which have vanished between my bum cheeks and says

“all gone”.



Hold back the river

Hold back the river….


I am feeling loved. I feel love through hugs, little gestures and words.

Love was always waiting for me wherever I went.

It makes me warm and I smile.

My outer shell screams contentment, confidence.

But don’t look into my eyes. They hold back a river of loneliness.

Loneliness and me are walking hand in hand.

It is not pulling me down, it is pulling me through, whatever it is.

Nobody can make that right.

And nobody can see.

Can see how I hold back.

Hold back the river of loneliness.

The Money-Dilemma…

It is a pain in the ass when you are not rich but want a nice new pair of trainers….

The desired item is this beauty:

I just put two items for sale on Ebay and hope to get at least 60,-£ together. . .

You might think to yourself, “it is just one pair of trainers, it will not hurt to buy them…”

Well maybe I should have mentioned, that we will be around 600,-£ short for a couple of month because the army as forgotten to charge us for our house and as a good citizen we have to pay it back.

Those 600,-£ makes me want to cry and I cry even more, because I long for those trainers my feet desperately need, sob… sob… it is even my size which is quite difficult to get when you’ve got tiny mice feet…

Maybe I curl into a ball for a bit and hope for a wonder…


I better get a move on and pick up little Miss Mouse from school.



My children won’t have a sex life!!!

Recently I read a post from this lovely person:

and wondered, will I ever find other bodies which don’t belong to my household???

The thought alone gives me strawberry skin, it makes me shiver and it feels like something is crawling up and down my spine, something slimy you don’t want  and frankly I wish that my children would wait with everything sex related until they are married and moved out!

Which means they should be in their late 20s!!! Awwwww isn’t that a nice daydream?

When I think back, once my mother found me in bed with my boyfriend when I was still young and thought I was very much in loooooove. By then I didn’t know that it is possible to nearly faint while you get shouted at by your mum!

Once I got my driving license I used to sleep at my boyfriends. Did I mention he also still lived at home. But hey, when you are young you don’t care (that much).

So, how would I feel when my son or daughter even have the guts to ask me, whether or not someone they think they are in love with, could stay over night?

I probably throw up…. just kidding….not…. well, I don’t know. I really don’t.

The rules here in house Free are very strict:

Stay away from the opposite sex. Stay away from the same sex- whichever you prefer, as long as possible! Once you think you are in looooove, it is high likely you get your heart broken. The longer you wait, the better.

Which brings us to the next rule:

Don’t get married before your late 20s or even better early 30s. How likely is it nowadays that you stay married when you met young??? Get my point? It is way to tempting to just throw something away instead to fix it…

Would it be mean of me, just to say “no” when get asked the “over-night-question”? I already feel uncomfortable about it. I don’t want this to happen- EVER!

Ah maybe I am lucky and they move out early, with a part time job, studying something great… being on their own feet.

Then I can pretend, they do nothing but work and study and that they don’t have time for relationships and everything that comes with it.

Yeah. I stick with that!!!


God, running & me

Yesterday morning, I went to Reeth in Swaledale for my usual 7k morning run with a bunch of other lovely runners.

For those who might think “what the hell is Swaledale?”, here is a picture of a part in Swaledale:

As you can see, it is very hilly.

So when I drove along in my car, the temperature dropped down to 3C, it was very windy and on top of that it started to rain.

Not the best conditions for a run, also husband said, I was stupid to go for a run in the morning, when we will do a 10k night race in the evening as well. I would be too knackered and not make it…

When I arrived, I went straight to the shop where we all meet, had a little chat with the others and than 9:30am on the dot the shop owner send us out, timing us as per usual.

It was only a bit of rain every now and then but the wind got so strong, that I couldn’t breath properly and it blew straight into my face. On the open field it got really bad and for a second I thought about a DNF (did not finish).

A DNF on a 7k route? That was just ridiculous. I was warm, I was awake, so on I went.

Then I came to the hill section:

You see that hill at the back? That’s where we run up. But because the wind was so strong, I didn’t even try to run it up.

I walked it up. Very slowly with the wind pushing me backwards.

Again I sounded like an old engine which was falling apart and if that wasn’t enough, I felt something around my bum. When I turned around, I have seen this:

You know these monster of dogs are huge, right? And I am a very short person… It was sniffing all around me, obviously it liked the smell of sweat.

Fortunately it was harmless and the owner called it back after some minutes!

When I was almost up the hill, lungs where screaming at that point, I had to turn right and that did it!

The wind was blowing in my back. It was so strong, it felt like someone was pushing me up the hill.

I looked up in the sky and said over and over again

“Thank you God, just push me a bit further”.

Well, what can I say? He pushed me all the way back to the shop, I was flying, my legs almost gone without the rest of me and it felt great.

You might just think, it was just the wind, get over with, but I like to believe, that God did hear my very weak whiny thoughts and helped me a bit.

He did the same in the evening when hubby and me did the night race.

We went to Osmotherley for a 10k night run and this was part of the route:

We have been ankle deep in mud, water, through a beck, over roots… well almost everything you can imagine when trail running.

I was running up a hilly section again and when I thought, I can’t make it anymore it went downhill for a long time and I picked up speed, overtook some people and my legs didn’t feel so tired anymore.

It was great fun. Too bad I didn’t see when my husband fell straight into knee deep puddles, getting all soaked, hehehehehe.

God must have remembered how husband lost the rag with poor wifey in the car minutes before the race over a song he insisted was from Tracy Chapman but really was from Dido (proofed him wrong the second we got home on YouTube!!!)

We shall not forget:

God hears and sees everything!!! giggles…


P.S.: Of course I made the race, guess my time was 1h for 10k. Will find out results today!!! Proven hubby wrong- again!

When you come home…

… and find a black cave!!!

I start to believe that my husband is suffering from paranoia!

In “his” room, aka our dining room, he closes the curtains the very second he comes home. Never mind whether there is beautiful sunshine out site or not.

According to him, no one needs to see the “messy room”. With messy he means toys lying around on the floor! And if someone would see his computer, they will break in and steal it.

Okay, a bit of over reacting here if you ask me.

However. When Cash and Cailleach got back from a quick walk to the shops, I found this:

At least it felt like it

All spooky and dark and I wonder, WHY??? The kitchen was dark, the hall was dark and of course the dining room as well.

It is really getting on my nerves. I opened all curtains in the morning, I mustn’t do that several times a day! If I would see a house in bright day light with shut curtains, I would presume no one is at home. And if I was a thief I would use the opportunity to get me some nice goodies!

Maybe he secretly thinks, he is a bat and is only happy in a dark environment? Yes that must be it! But then again, a bat is black and fury… last time I saw my husband he was bold!

Well let’s hope next week during the holidays he forgets about his bat-cave attitude, otherwise I can already see me counting the hours until he returns back to work!


Dress you up

I gonna dress you up in bright smiles. Your beautiful eyes smile at me whenever I gaze into them. They warm everyone’s heart in a cold winters night.

I gonna dress you up in laughter. Your giggles are like a sweet melody for my ears.

I gonna dress you up in a holiday. You are skipping ever so light like a stone over the ocean while a warm summer breeze shines upon you.

I gonna dress you up in adventures. The world is your oyster, so go shine like a diamond and take what you desire.

I gonna dress you up in music. I love to see you dance. No care in the world. Music will remind you of good and bad times but will last forever in your mind.

I gonna dress you up in crime. Go wild.  Go crazy. Live life to the fullest.

I gonna dress you up in no regrets. It is good not to regret as you can’t change the past.

I gonna dress you up in love. From the earth to the moon and back. Love is all around and waiting for you.

I gonna dress you up


Breastfeeding- I am disgusted!

Just to get this straight, I am not one of those feminists (no offense) who go out and think they have to fight for every little oh so important female thing,

but I just read on the news for the x time, how breastfeeding women get told to cover  up or even leave public establishments and how ashamed and humiliated those mums feel.

I have breastfed 3 of my 4 children (poor firstborn was unlucky because his mommy was too young and stupid due to lack of knowledge and/or not proper developed brain then, so he got formula milk).

Yes, at first I felt a bit uncomfortable with feeding in public places and tried to get the screaming red faced little bundle attached to the huge full boobs as fast as possible, but after a while I got used to it.

Not that I was keen of flashing bare skin, but hey, baby screams, so you feed, right?

Not once in all those years when I nursed my children, and I nursed the youngest for almost 14 month (greedy bugger), was I told to cover up, leave or got nasty comments.

If someone would have tried, I would have told them with a big devilish smile, in a calm manner, to mind her/his own business and if that wouldn’t have been fine I would have called the police!

I think every breastfeeding women should act like that and if they are to shy to do so, a witness should step up for her!

Often it is the older generation who makes a fuss and I wonder why that is? I am very certain that they got breastfed as well and surely no one told their mothers to go and hide in a dark cave to nurse!

Maybe it is just lack of intelligence… or non existent  manners… however:

Telling a breastfeeding mother to cover or leave is wrong and those people should shame themselves!

I think the feminist in me said it all!


I should change my page name…

… from

Franky tells it like it is


Franky is constantly ill


I shouldn’t be sick again. Normally I am a very healthy person and get sick twice a year with a bad sinus infection. That’s it.

Some people say, they are dogged by bad luck, I seem to be dogged by illness lately. Either that or I am already aging.

I like to believe that I am an old wise soul! But that doesn’t mean that I should feel and/or look like it! Ieeeeek.

Maybe in a couple of weeks I will not run all the races I signed up for, noooooo, I might roll them in my posh new shiny wheelchair, with an oxygen mask and someone who pushes me along the way!!!

What did this incapable doctor lady say recently? “Sometimes the body takes a bit longer to recover…”

My body can recover… until this sunday….because I would like to do another recce run.

The bad thing about 20km+ recce runs:

If you are not used to the terrain and the double/triple amount of hours running, you are in really bad pain towards the  end of the run and the following days.

The good thing about 20km+ recce runs:

You eat like a horse afterwards and still burn fat!!! Horse hips?! Never heard of those!

So, body, recover, pronto!!! And yes, yesssssss that was a threat!