Month: January 2016

When Men Fake IT…

Sometimes when my husband is incredible quick in bed (doesn’t happen often), I wonder for a split second, if he might just have faked it (yes, of course he gets an earful for finishing before me, tut-tut). But on second thought he is way too selfish to fake it, once he finally gets some fun. According to him, it could be more often. A lot more often. But that is a different matter.

However, when I still  get those thoughts it always reminds me of my ex. Oi, not during sex, after it of course.

My ex.… I would never have thought that men would fake it too until it actually happened to my poor soul. It probably was a hint from the universe that I should show him the door, but I just couldn’t get rid of my pink glasses I have been wearing non-stop…

Back to the topic. We where in bed…we had sex…but he wasn’t really there, didn’t put as much effort in as usual and than he started his weird sounding moans of pleasure until he was quiet and rolled over. I mean, how stupid can a man be?!

I thought “okay” went to toilet to shower and get rid of the “evidence” only that there was no “evidence”!

So I asked him straight out and with a bright red face he admitted his crime. According to him, he wasn’t really in the mood. Fair enough.

But why faking it? Let me tell you guys something:

If you are a man and you want to fake it, either you have to use a condom and hide it quickly…. or…. well I don’t know other methods…. just say you don’t want sex! I do that very often with my husband. It is very easy:

“Darling, I am not in the mood and no, nothing can change that!!!”

See, easy!


Out Of Place

Today was an other situation where I felt out of place- again.

When I drove my daughter to a birthday party, I realized that it probably be a better idea just to stay the two hours (she was invited to a laser tack party), as it was a 30 minutes drive. I imagined me chatting with the mother(s) over a cup of tea. “Yes, why not” I thought…

But when we arrived and I introduced myself, I thought “no, no, noooooo, I better go home”. The parents of the birthday girl looked a bit like that:

Nothing wrong with it, no offense. I know, I know, you should never judge a book by its cover and I don’t. The first few seconds or even minutes of a conversation are the most important, the first expression is important. And in my case…. there was nothing.. my mind was blank… no connection… in fact they’ve been so… hm…. how to put it…. ordinary I didn’t even recognize the father when I picked up my daughter. He must have thought of me being rude, but it was really not my intention! REALLY!

They where friendly, don’t get me wrong, but they seemed so different to my friends and me.

When I make friends, we usually have a lot in common and are very alike.

People like the ones on the picture (a bit petty bourgeois, don’t you think?) normally don’t mix with people like me. They rather change the path or hold their handbag tight.

I am pretty heavy tattooed and so are most of my friends. We can be loud and have a big mouth but don’t mean no harm. We are the sort who parties until the staff asks us nicely with a worried face if we are happy to leave now (always makes me giggle). But we are real!

A few weeks ago, I had to attend a Christmas do with my husband and his colleagues and it was the very same. They where polite enough to talk to me, but the signals where very clear:

You are tolerated but we are not really interested.

My sister said, I should sum up with them. They might have friends I really like so I can than ditch the one I don’t like but that is against my nature. I couldn’t do that!

I wonder how you would call that? People hopping? Or just underhandedness???

It is not that I want to strive against the stream. Also I never strive with the stream, I just strive with a slightly different stream, I guess.

Hm. Maybe it is me. Maybe I should swap my Fred Perry Polos and skirts for flowery blouses and pleated pants, go like a good wifey to coffee mornings, get my fake nails done and gossip with my “friends” about the latest trends and who split up from who while we shop around town…

Maybe it is me! Maybe they are not petty bourgeois, it is rather that I am not grown up, yet. Maybe I am just too picky and I should get my head out of the clouds, or I am too cocky?

I go with the last, yeah I am confident enough to say, I love the way I am and stay true to myself. Works perfectly fine!

After all, I met some lovely chatty runners this morning in Swaledale. See, when you do have something in common, it works!


Franky Boy Couldn’t Say It Better!!!

Praise Facebook

Recently I wrote a post about how shallow Facebook has become but today I have to praise said social website!

If it wasn’t for Facebook, I would have forgotten my mothers birthday and than she would have sulked for ages (happened before and no, I didn’t feel bad)!!!

Yes, I totally agree, you should respect your parents (well, at least when they deserve it) but there are more important things in life than birthdays and whether you got plenty of presents, right?


THANK YOU FACEBOOK FOR THE REMINDER, no thanks to my little sister who usually always reminds me in time (outrage)!

And now to more important things….. so where was the reduced waterproof running pants I have seen online….. and even more important, where is hubbies bank card???

Have a great weekend


How does it feel?

How does it feel to be rejected? When I deny your kisses? Your lips which ones where so passionate, so hot, so sweet, so soft upon mine.

How does it feel when all you can think of is to be near me? When you want to touch me but can’t, when you try to phone me, but don’t know my number, when you try to find me, but I am invisible.

How does it feel to live without me? Not to hear my voice, whispering naughty secrets in your ear, not to have me in your arms, hugging you so tight you think you suffocate.

How does it feel not to have my naked body around you? To smell me, to want my lips, to take me, to own me.

How does it feel to think I will be with you any minute but don’t? To wish for the phone to ring, to turn up at our favourite place.

Does it hurt? Do you wish for the world to stop? Are you feeling empty? Is something lost? Did your heart stop beating?

Now you know how I feel

Highly Unsatisfied!!!

I have to let off steam. A LOT OF STEAM!!! I am so angry…

I did it again. I went for a doctors appointment to our medcentre in camp. I wasted my time- again.

For weeks now I am not feeling great. It started with a flu, than got better but already a really bad cold was in line, waiting to continue the sick party!

My head is hurting, my belly is bloated and hurts over my c-scar, eyes are stinging and I feel constantly tired AND something hurts on my spine, like a bruise…

So when I was called in to the doc, I told her all my symptoms, she looked into my mouth, eyes, ears, touched my belly and back and asked some random questions.

In the end she said, without checking me properly, that sometimes the body needs more recovery time, I should just wait a few weeks. There is nothing she could do for me!

Iiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeekssssssss, sorry WHAT???? A FEW WEEKS??? NOTHING SHE CAN DO???

What about checking my spine properly which constantly hurts? What about a scan on my c-section scar?

I know they only have 15 minutes per patient and they probably work under pressure as well… yes, I could have insisted to get treated properly, but when I go to a doc, I expect their full attention, maybe even a referral somewhere else. SOMETHING… but the feeling I got was a it-is-4-o’clock-time-to-go-home one!

And if that wasn’t enough, I was send down to the reception to book a blood test I requested (at least something). So like a good sheep I went down with my two very impatient and hungry little ones, waiting right by the desk just to get ignored for over 10 minutes by the nurse, busy with phone calls and other squaddies.

That was enough! I grabbed my crying and screaming toddler while sweating my ass off, grabbing toddler number two who was running up and down the corridor and left without a word.

If I would have said something, it wouldn’t have been nice at all and there was a huge sign behind the counter on the wall, that rude behavior towards the staff will  not be tolerated, so where is the point? Also didn’t want to get hubby in the poop!

Those are moments where I wonder what it must feel like to have money, to be wealthy enough to afford a private health insurance so you can choose the doctor.

So, rant over!


Mothers & Daughters

I think ever since I was a little child, I was in a never ending fight with my mother!

Maybe it is a natural thing to do. Testing how far you can go. Of course you don’t want to be like your mother or your parents whats whoever. You look at them and think how awfully suburban their life is. How boring. You don’t want to be or end up like them, don’t want to look and think like them…

Often I find myself secretly admiring other mother-daughter relationships. I look at them and think to myself, it must be nice to see your mother more like a best friend, someone you always want in your life and hang out with, share all your secrets and worries.

A few days ago it totally took me by surprise when my daughter asked me, to pick her wedding dress when it is time! I was in shock but hid it well, saying “of course I will help you with your dress and wedding…” and to be honest, I was touched! I didn’t even want to invite my mother to my wedding, never mind help me with my dress!

Since we do nothing but fight (at least it seems like it), I didn’t expect that at all.

So I must do something right after all.

Since we reached the teenage stage, I feel a bit helpless. Never mind what I do or how I treat her, it doesn’t seem right, and it reminds me of my own teenage days.

I try to remember what I hated back then and try to avoid the same mistakes my mother did. Needless to say that it doesn’t always work but I make the best of it.

The teenage stage can be tough, for mothers and their offspring, but sure we all survive and in the best case we stay close to each other and can laugh about it the older we get!