Personal Desire

Did you ever put your personal desires aside because of more important priorities or because you want to protect someone?

My personal desire is to keep my children away from their “birth-father”!

I call him birth-father because in my opinion he doesn’t deserve the title “father”.

Even when we still lived in the same country, he neglected my two babies. Often he send me a sms in the very last second, calling the weekend with them off. All in all he has seen Dean and Dana 3 til 4 times per year since we split up when they where 3 and 1 1/2 years old. He never calls or send emails either…

He only started paying child support for almost two years now and I had to beg for every single penny. He doesn’t even pay the full amount, never mind the amount from the years he still owes me!

When I was still single, he abused me mentally, threatened me  with the court to take the children away from me, because I was working full time to get food on the table and warm clothes on my children.

When I got married and was about to move away, he threatened me again with the court (though he wouldn’t have stand a chance)… one weekend, he just send me a sms, that he doesn’t bring the children back (which he eventually did, after I said I will send the MP)…

Mental abuse can be as painful as physical abuse and it is only a matter of time, until he finds something new, like telling Dana, that soon she could decide on her own where she wants to live (she wants to stay with us, not with him but he claims, it is us pressuring her)…

He never stops… he is like a broken record, going over and over again… talking about the same things…

And the worse part, he involved the children into our rowing! What for a kind of person does that? My son was crushed! My daughter was rattled!

I always kept my children away from harm, always protected them, never told them when he called a weekend off again, never said a wrong word about him in front of them.

I wanted them to make up their own mind, I didn’t want them to have an unhappy childhood and because I don’t want them to blame me for keeping them away from their “father”, I let them decide whether they want to meet him or not, despite the fact, that I shed too many tears already and feel pressured and can’t wait until the day they turn 18 and I don’t ever need to talk to him ever again.

So yes, my personal desire would be to keep my children away from their “birth-father”, but I can’t do that…

What is your personal desire???

Franky

 

7 thoughts on “Personal Desire

  1. This is a difficult and painful situation for you and your children. I can only assure you from my own experiencesthat once they are grown-ups they will understand what you have done for them and what kind of person their birth-father is.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i hate it when kids are dragged into it. i’ve a friend who had been mentally and physically abused by her ex and he’s still using their kids against her. it’s tortuous and i wish all the best to you and your children. may you have the strength to face him regardless what he does and hopefully someday you’ll never hear from him again.

    Liked by 1 person

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