It is 7:13pm. I am sitting in my cognac coloured Chesterfield chair, wearing my grey pyjama. I lathered honey on my face because since I live in the UK, I get spotty from the chlorine in the tapwater.
And while I sit here cross leged I wonder, can women and men be just friends?
Everything inside me wants to scream YES they can! And not only because one party might be gay.
Since I was a little girl, I was always better with boys than with girls. Boys where so much more fun to be around, they didn´t get upset about bad or nasty jokes, you could punch them without them being upset and you could be rough without them crying like a little baby! No offence girls, but you must admit, we can be a bit touchy!!!
I believe the reasons why men like to be friends with me is, that I am a bit like them. I can laugh about me, I´ve got a huge ego (gosh, I am so hot, I could burn myself, GRIN), but I don´t flatter myself over my look, and most importantly, I don´t judge a book by it´s cover.
I have to admit, I love to be around men! Purely because I mustn´t watch my mouth, I can speak what I think. And the opposite sex surely feels the same way.
So I thought at least! But life taught me better. I was friends with a really nice man for 13 years! But after 13 years, he led me down on my birthday, he didn´t even phone. I found out he had a crush on me for a while but he knew he didn´t have a chance because to me, he was like a brother! I loved him, really! Just not the way he wanted or expected me to. I still miss him every now and then.
On my 18th birthday in a club I met a cute guy. Well I was very drunk. All my girlfriends said to me “look at him, are you serious???” They just couldn´t get it. A week later I met him again, and boy believe me when I say my friends where right, what did I think??? I only recognised him because of his short hight. But it wasn´t his looks, it was his personality. Don´t get me wrong, he was a sweet person, just not for me! So I told him, that I made a mistake and that I don´t feel a connection. So we just stayed friends.
At least so I thought (again)! After over 10 years of friendship he also led me down. When I called him he was always preoccupied with other things and didn´t pay much attention. I tried to talk to him about it…… He always said, he would never find someone as good- looking and great as me… In the end he tried to get away from me by ignoring my emails and phonecalls. Maybe it was his attempt to forget me. Nowadays I think it was the right thing for him to do, to cut all strings if you want to move forward, but back then it just hurt to lose another dear friend.
And once I made the mistake to sleep with a good friend of mine. We got together, though I´ve told him, we shouldn´t as I wasn´t ready and thought it was a silly one-off thing. But when you are young and get told, “you would hurt me even more, if you leave now without being my girlfriend”, specially when his father has just died, what do you do?! Of course you stay with him just to hurt him even more two years later by telling him, that it is over! We are still in contact over Facebook every now and then but he insists until this day, that I have hurt him the most of all persons!
And even “friends” tried to kiss me at some point.
Awww it is a pain in the …! Unfortunately I must say,
NO! Men and women can´t just be friends!!!
I bet, one of you will say, yes it is possible, I have a dear friend since Anno… but believe you me when I say, one day that person wants to be more than just a friend. BIG SIGH.