You´re drunk you silly old fool!!!

Every time before my husband attends a mess meeting I say:

“Darling, don´t get too drunk, you should be a good example, you are a

staff sergeant!!!”

And yesterday I did it again but my speech just reached a wall. His reply was that he has to drink! Hmmmm…. is getting drunk a way of socializing nowadays? Did I miss something? Or is it the british culture to get, sorry for the following, pissed on meetings (no offence, I just wonder why, WHY)?!

When hubby got home in the middle of the night it sounded like a horde of elephants tramped through my house. Somehow he made it upstairs to our bedroom just to announce, that he is drunk followed by a plunk on his side of the bed. After just a murmur of me, I heard him saying “oh not good” and he scampered as fast as he could in his condition back out of the bed and in the bathroom. And than I heard the well-known sounds of retching which I just  acknowledge with a dry sly smile!

“Serves him right”, I thought while turning around to the other side, trying to find my way back into sheepy clouds of sleep which unfortunately where highly disturbed of my husbands failures to walk:

I heard him fall down the hall, down the stairs and even up the stairs accompanied with the words “fu..ing hell”. Not my words- his words!

He was still wandering around the house, well wandering like an elf wouldn´t describe it at all, it was more like an earthquake until his final showdown:

I heard him running and then a loud splatter. Unfortunately he didn´t make it on time to the loo and specially to open the lid which I found out this morning before I drove Cailleach to school- I only wanted to go quickly to toilet downstairs, opened the door and this smell hit me and the disaster looked me straight in the eye. To his defence, he tried to clean it up as good as a drunk can do.

So when I drove him to work this morning, still drunk, he leaned out of the window like a dog (did I mentioned it was and still is pouring down), trying not to throw up- he also failed that. One hour later I had to pick him back up and now he is laying upstairs sleeping his killer hangover and playing the dying swan!

Well my darling husband, your 20s are long gone, you can´t keep up with those youngsters from yesterday and sorry (not) for saying it:

But I told you so!!!

Oh and please would you care to find your glasses???

Franky

One thought on “You´re drunk you silly old fool!!!

  1. Ah I remember this scene well in my very own household. My husband was a Canadian soldier so we also have the tradition of the men’s mess dinner where it’s pretty much obligatory to get sloshed. This was funny. I laughed (not at the part where you were going to have to potentially clean up vomit though). These poor guys, they don’t learn. I’m pretty sure there’s a way to fake the drunk part.

    Like

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