When you get lost running

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I did it again!

I think I could have the best map in the world, with pictures and instructions + distance all the way and I would still get lost!!!

I am a lost cause, really!

Yesterday was my day off and so I thought it would be nice to run (well it was more a hike to be honest) up Ben Ledi here in Callander.

So I dropped off the babies at school and drove the 5 minutes over to the small car park where the actual route starts.

Me being me, took the cycle route instead of the route to the left which would have brought me straight to the main route until you hit the little gate up to Ben Ledi.

After 20 minutes of running along the cycle path I decided I should go up left now. I had the feeling I was wrong so I thought I have seen something like a faint trail through the spinney and ended up on a large area with chopped down trees, Ben Ledi to my left.

Bolt as I am I climbed over trees until I finally hit the actual trail.

So up I went the mountain. Believe me guys and girls, though I was in shorts and the temperature around 1C on the lower grounds, my legs worked so hard, I didn’t feel the cold at all.

Occasionally on the lower bits I was able to run a bit.

There where 3 more big climbs and before the last one I was already cursing in my head, saying that there better be the cross when I reach (what looked to me, like the other two times) the summit.

It was already getting much colder and I hit snow, so it was time to put my hood up (my OMM Kamlaika jacket did not let me down and kept me warm with a fleece underneath) and get my gloves (thin merino which was just fine) out of my bag. Warm and toasty I kept on climbing.

Finally while marching up the big rocks I reached the summit and the cross. Unfortunately the sun was not high enough to reveal nice views so all I saw was clouds, but still beautiful enough.

To make matters not worse I retract my steps, had some chats with other hikers until I hit the actual path at the foot of the mountain.

So I thought to myself, lets follow this one which I did but when it kept on turning right and higher and higher I was certain I was wrong- again (it turned out later I wasn’t).

But I also didn’t want to run all the way back. So I did the only logical and lazy thing:

I walked cross country, straight down to where I heard the river and where the cycle path is.

I can’t even tell the amount of times I nearly lost my trainers in the knee deep bog and ice colt waters, not to mention the scratches from the bushes.

If someone has seen me, they probably had a good laugh.

But eventually after I chopped my way through the undergrowth, I reached the cycle path again and when I reached the car park, what did I see?

The path I should have taken instead of the cycle path. The one where I thought was wrong…. unbelievable….

That happens when you get too excited! You just don’t open your eyes…. well at least I don’t.

Happens.

Probably will happen again.

That is fine.

Franky

I lost my way

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I think I lost my way!

I’ve been thinking that for a while now.

When I ask myself where I would like to see myself in 5 years, my answer would be:

In a job I really enjoy. A job which is enjoyable and earns me a bit of money!

The reality might be different though. I might be stuck like I am now. In a job which is convenient and pays the bills.

I am not a dumb person. I studied different things. I have diplomas for two different type of jobs and a lot of knowledge when it comes to other things I did.

I like learning new things and I love physical jobs! Jobs where I almost drop dead by the end of the day because it makes me feel like I actually did something useful!

A few days ago I found a trainee vacancy in Livingston for (I think it was) a ship or boat company. They where looking for someone who would assist with boat repairs etc.

I would have loved to apply for this job, but travel hours would have been too long.

Every week I check the ferry websites for their job offers. I know the seasonal job offers should be out soon and I wonder if I should sign up for a stcw training so I can apply. But I don’t want to pay a £1000 for a course and in the end I don’t get the job. Of course getting this certificate is no guarantee for employment but shouldn’t I do anything to go forward?

I feel lost. So lost! I bet everyone of you felt like this before and if not, well lucky you. It is not a nice feeling.

Well…it is 7:14pm, my uniform is already ironed and ready for tomorrow and I will be off to bed now.

Beauty sleep is essential and tomorrow might be a better day or the job opportunity!

Franky (who keeps her hopes up)

Our very own house

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We made it. Finally!

We finally bought our very own house. We paid more than we intended to. Also it is not as far north as I would have wished to.

We decided against Orkney. We travelled all around Scotland, checked places, viewed houses and eventually settled for a nice cottage in the beautiful town of Callander.

It was built late 1600s, it has fireplaces, a dine-in kitchen, a big enough garden and the area enough outdoor activities, bigger towns and cities near by for work-

All important factors for us.

Now whenever I have my days off, I start painting rooms. Yes, I know usually you renovate before you move in- we do it in reverse. Plainly because we really wanted to move out of this teeny weeny tiny cottage which was infested with humongous monster spiders!

Unfortunately I haven’t seen much of the area just yet, as I do nothing but work and if I get home early, it is raining. Like hammering down bad rain!

Actually I should be the happiest person alive. I live in Scotland with my family in a traditional beautiful cottage in a even more beautiful area….. but still.

Maybe it is the fact that from now on we just go to work to pay off the house, pay for the renovations (you should see the wall paper which snakes its way to the first floor, roses far as the eye can see), pay this big amount of council tax….

I look at the house and see how it could look like once it is done.

Wallpaper down and nice colours on…

Getting those ugly tiles off the floor, ripping the carpet out replacing all with nice wooden flooring….

At some point install nice new bathrooms (yes, plural. We have 4!)….

Ax two of those awful trees down….

Repaint my poop brown kitchen units, change the handles, install Belfast sink, change worktop for wood……

Sooooo much  to do.

I think the fact that I see how much there still is to do and me being me, wanting to get it done there and then. And the fact that I can’t get it all done straight away as money does not grow out of my pockets does not let me enjoy my house….Maybe I should just sit back and relax….

But for now:

Off to bed.

Nighty night

Franky

 

 

Tattoos at Work

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Since I moved house I started to work in a establishment where the very wealthy and rich walk in and out on a daily basis.

I do enjoy my job and I was well trained by a very nice lady I work with.

My shift starts at 6am, therefor I cycle the 3 miles every morning and leave at around 5:15am, day in, day out.

I am always on time, often even 20 minutes early which I don’t get paid and I don’t mind.

I am polite and helpful to staff and guests, I smile and greet all the time whether I get a response back or not.

I am dedicated and want to give 110%.

I do  all this because I like working where I work and because I need the money.

Now I was told a couple of times that I have to do something about my neck tattoos.

I was actually told at induction, that the employer wants to loosen up a bit and as long tattoos are not offensive, it is okay to have them on display.

Apparently that does not apply to the neck.

I was told to either cover it with make up or put plasters on.

Did I mention that my neck tattoos are hand big on either side of my neck?!

And yesterday it was ordered from very high above, that I should cover it, maybe by keeping my hair open.

It was actually ordered, that I was to be placed out of public eye!!! But my lovely boss wouldn’t have it so today I am having my beautiful locks chopped off to chin length.

The thing is:

However ordered it (I may go back to my boss regarding this matter to find out who it was to consult him/her myself), does not even know me in person and just reduced me to my tattoos which is a very sad thing as it does not say anything about my personality and work!

This goes against my core beliefs:

Do not judge a book by its cover!!!

I thought it is the year 2018 and the society is all open minded. But it shows once more that many people just look down at you and not see you at the same level as them.

I am fully aware that having neck tattoos cause problems in the work world and it isn’t the first time I have to cover them, I just feel insulted, that the person did not contact me him/herself to discuss the matter and find a solution together!

THAT wouldn’t have been a big deal at all.

Sad sad times….

Franky

Being emotional

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It has been over a year since my grandma died.

When my husband told me after I got back from my shift in the evening, I cried.

One of those long, loud, raw heartbreaking cries. It didn’t last long.

I cried it out while my husband held me.

I did not cry at the funeral. I didn’t want to. Didn’t want the others to see me like that.

But every time I see a grandma and her grandchildren together, I have tears in my eyes.

The pain does not lessen. It is a constant ache and I know I will be feeling like this forever.

I am certain it is because I can’t hear her voice anymore, can’t phone her up to ask for advice.

That’s what I miss the most. The advice… Advice how to handle things, to hear her opinion.

I lost the most important person in my life….

But that is life, right? Life gives and life takes….

I will survive this with a sad smile.

Franky