It Was Completely Unexpected!!!

As you know from a previous post, I mentioned that I joined a dating website, or rather 3 shall I say. The first one was, at it turned out, for much older singles, the second very dodgy and the last one quite decent. I deleted the two first ones for obvious reasons: I didn’t have anything in common with much older guys and I also am not the type to just go meet a complete stranger for sex!

I wasn’t even looking for someone, just wanted to know what is out there. I had lots of messages and indecent pictures.

But one message stuck out. The message, though I can’t even remember the specifics, was so innocent, sweet and nice and I looked up his profile…

His was the only message I replied to. We got talking and two days later (I think), he phoned me. His voice, oh his voice…. it instantly calmed me down and we where talking for ages. It came naturally and was so easy.

We knew we wanted to meet, so we chose a day and time.
And I know it sounds crazy, but even before I met him in real, I knew I won’t go back to that dating website. Or any for that matter! There was something about him….

I couldn’t think about anything but to finally meet him and when I did and he hugged me, everything that was wrong, all my worries where gone and it was like coming home. HE felt like home.

And when he kissed me, my heart stopped and my brain couldn’t comprehend a single thought!

When I left that day to drive “home”, home didn’t feel like home anymore as I left my heart behind.

I am so smitten, I am head over heels!

Who would have thought?!

Franky

Dating Advice For The Ex

It is really funny how my life turned out. I didn’t see myself separating after 10 years of marriage, doing the conscious uncoupling thing and lastly giving my ex dating advice.

Darling ex was married twice before he met me, so really he was never alone and always in longterm relationships. Which means he has no clue when it comes to dating.

How to be flirty? What to say? What not to say? What is appropriate? When to ask to exchange numbers? When to initiate the first date?

So many questions…. the list goes on and on.

However, darling ex told me the other day, he is talking to a lady. At some point he messaged her something he shouldn’t have. So to rescue him from being dumped before it even begins, I told him how to save his backside.

Gentlemen, let me tell what women would want to hear. At least from my point of view:

Be straight with them! Honesty is the best medicine as women are sneaky detectives. If they want to find something out, they will and if they don’t like it, aaaaaall hell will break lose!

Also, tell them what you want from a relationship, but only the important basics. We don’t want to know your whole story!

And if you are just out of a relationship, but still friends with your ex for whatever reasons, let her know and ask her how she feels about it. If she is uncomfortable, ask her what she would suggest! But even if she says, that she is fine with it, never ever tell her you asked your ex for advice! Oh boy she will be so offended, she might not kill you right away, but you will never going to live that one down!

Never, ever slag down your ex- even if she deserves it. If a potential new partner asks what went wrong, begin with “this is my point of view and there are always two sides to a story… she might see it completely differently and I don’t want her to look bad as she is not here to defend herself…” That will give you lots of brownie points! Take my word for it! Plus it is a decent and very adult thing to do!

Don’t try too hard. If she doesn’t reply straight away, she might be busy. You, are not the centre of her world and that is okay- live with it!

Do not try to get into her knickers on the first date, unless she specifically says so! She might be the one, so plenty of time to rip of those panties!

If you think you can impress her with your bank account, think twice if you really want such a shallow person as your partner! A woman who genuinely likes you, doesn’t care about money, a sparkling car or a posh mention!

And when after all the above you really made it to first base, don’t eat her face off and fish for the remaining last dinner! A nice, slow kiss with soft lips and a little bit of tongue action is what women want! So get the lip scrub out and prepare!

And now the most important thing:

Be yourself and make her laugh! If you can make her laugh without playing the fool, you did it!

So darling ex has the most important facts and now it is up to him to score. I don’t mind helping him out as I want him to be happy.

Me? Well, I certainly didn’t look nor did I expect it, but someone special found me. I don’t want to talk about it just yet. Don’t want to jinx it. . . so stay tuned!

Franky

Dating Websites

I am a very curious person. I love to have a good laugh with my friends. I love to flirt even more, throw in a bit of dirty talk and the day is perfect! Like earlier at work:

*still giggling*: My colleague tripped and fell down in the bathroom, almost covering me (already on the floor), while I tried to catch her. So me, being me, said to her: “I know I am hot, but you don’t need to throw yourself on me like that!” Yeah, innocent flirty dirty talk…

What wasn’t innocent where the pictures I received earlier on a dating website. Naive me thought it is just a dating website, not an instant hook up website!

I put myself on two websites to see what is on the market. Not because I want a new relationship. More because I like to talk to people, maybe even meet for a run, swim, hike, cinema or whatever the situation, without any plans for sex or expectations.

The first one was for single parents as I thought a parent knows what the day and life in general is with a child. So far so good. So there are lots of single parents, but why on earth are there 70 something single guys?!? Surely your children have long moved out! You shouldn’t be on such a website! I thought this is a website for parents who’s children are still at home and actual children, as in at least under 20!!!

And why the heck does a 77 year old guy think, I would go on a date with him??? No offence in regards to the age, but what would we possibly have in common that you think you are my match?!

I might sound shallow now, but I was wondering where the good looking guys are hiding? Probably on something like tinder! So I googled another website. I thought it would be nice to get in touch with other tattooed people, so I googled tattooed singles and something came up.

Oh dear Gods! This is a proper f*cking website. You put any, seriously ANY detail about yourself on your profile. What you look like, hight, body built, if you are pierced, shaved, what sort of sex you like and pictures. NAKED pictures which are blacked out but able to view once you click on it!

And believe me, I clicked!!! Curiosity got the better of me! And I shouldn’t have! Most where like a bad accident you just can’t get out of your head! Once in particular stuck: A 71 year old guy in baby blue suspenders and matching lacy underwear with erect dripping penis…oooooh boy. I mean, I said it before and say it again, I don’t mind a guy in a bit of woman’s clothes every now and again. But THAT?! That looked so wrong…in every way!

Today I received around 100 messages. Many straight to the point, many just a cock picture, some with an at least half way decent attempt of a conversation. Oh and not to forget the “winks”. Why? Can’t one say “hi”?

So I went through all those messages, pictures and winks. I deleted them all but one who doesn’t live too far away. We had a nice conversation and in the end he was very interested in getting it on. But what can I say?! It just didn’t click. At least not on my side. So I told and deleted him as well.

To be honest I was looking forward to meeting someone else, again without any expectations, but that very person does not seem to be interested in seeing me as there is next to no effort from his side. That might also be a reason why I wasn’t interested in any of the guys on above mentioned dating side…

This is a weird world we are living in and I don’t think dating sides will ever be my thing.

Franky

Conscious Uncoupling And Dating

My darling ex and me doing this thing many laughed about back then when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their separation:

Conscious uncoupling. Yep. We talked about what went wrong, we still do. Especially when darling ex feels very down. We talk about it without accusations. Just facts what went wrong and that it wasn’t his fault, maybe not even mine. Our expectations have just changed or even more important, we just didn’t know each good enough to see what we are really like when we met. After all, we got married after 4 month. How good do you know someone after such short time?

We still live under one roof. We want this ship to sail as smooth as possible without hurting each other and more important without hurting the children. We will tell them soon. But first we want them to see, that though we are separated, parents can still like each other and do things together us a family! We want them to see that it is not the end when a couple decides to end things.

So far so good.

But we also want to date! Not that we are already looking. But what do we say to someone who might be interested in us???

“Yes, I am separated, but we still live together under one roof as we decided to be best friends and continue to be a good example for our children…”

No one will believe, that there is nothing going between us! If a guy would tell me something like this, I certainly wouldn’t believe it! My sister recently met one of those twats! After dating for a couple of weeks, it turned out, that he is still with his wife and just wanted a secret girlfriend. He told her that he and his wife are separated, live under one roof in different rooms… only in the end he admitted what was really going on! He even had the guts to say, that maybe one day, he might actually leave his wife for her! Of course my sister has shown him the door!

I also had an encounter with a friend who did not believe that I am separated! Why would I lie about it?!

So yeah, I guess this is going to be a tricky situation.

I wonder, should we wait with dating until I have moved out?

Should we put our cards on the table right away, explaining the situation and offer, he/she can contact me/darling ex? Wouldn’t that be a bit awkward???

Never been in such a situation. Guess time will tell.

Franky

When Is The Right Time To Move Out???

Though our separation is still quite fresh, darling ex and me where talking about moving house. Not that he wants me to move house or is rushing me. Not at all. But we both know, we can’t live under one roof forever, especially when we start dating again.

But when is the right time to move out and separate the family?

Where will I go?

Will I find somewhere affordable? Will it be a nice area?

How far away will I move?

Will I buy or rent? And if I rent, will I be able to take my kitties? And if I plan to buy (which I would prefer), would I be granted a mortgage???

How sad will my babies be to “live” in two places from now on?

Will I find work in the area?

The last one is the most important one! Since I want to go up north, how are the chances to find a job nearby my new place and will it be manageable with the children and school???

Will my darling ex, the babies and me, still be a tight knitted team?

Can I even afford to move, as in new furniture etc. At the current moment the answer would be “no”.

So many questions, so little answers…

Franky

Penis Pictures

The other night. It is around 1am. My bestie sends me a text with a picture. A guy she met online month ago and was chatting with back then, send her a naked full on penis picture!

She then sends it to me, asking a pained “why?”. I tell her to ask him what you are supposed to do with it, so she did. The guy’s answer: “Oh it wasn’t meant to be for you”.

Yes, riiiiight. Wenn a woman shows no signs of interest, it wasn’t meant to be for her.

To be honest, I wasn’t impressed either! If I was him, I would have chosen a nicer and more important, tidier background. Also after closer inspection of his, what he thinks, best part, I must say his penis looks like a long branch with dips down somewhere in the middle despite the fact that “it” was erect!

My bestie told me it happens often that she is talking to guys she meets online, everything is nice and bam, out of the blue she gets hit with a cock picture!

And I wonder:

Why do men do that? Do they really think, that is the right way to charm themselves into a woman knickers???

Or are they aware of the fact that their intellect is that low that they have to compensate with a penis picture? I mean it is a totally different thing when you are in a relationship. I’d like to believe we all send some naughty pictures somewhen in the past. I certainly did, would never ever if it wasn’t my man!

Also:

If my bestie gets those pictures on a regular basis, does she save them in a folder and if so, does she plan on creating a collage and publish it online with the caption “How Not To Get A Woman!”?

I shall ask her.

Franky

Ideal Day After Work

My ideal day after work looks like this:

Often I come home from work late. I bash through the door growl at everyone, waiting for my dinner to be served, whinging why the house is a mess…

Straight after dinner I jump under the shower and freshly polished right into my pyjama! I grab my kindle or an actual book (“Porno” by Irvine Welsh will be next), turn on the radio in the kitchen (right now it is The Teskey Brothers) and snuggle into bed. Sometimes accompanied by a glass of whiskey.

Sigh… what a bliss…

Have a good week everyone

Franky

Ghosts In The Morning

That’s what you look like at around 5 in the morning

Like ghosts… wild hair, not fully dressed and still half asleep- off at 5:30am for a morning run with darling-ex!

Forward 1 1/2 hours later, I am sitting here, freshly showered, exfoliated, creamed and polished, perfumed and ready for work, “Footloose” soundtrack on full blast on the radio!

Good morning and have a great weekend everyone!

Franky

Accusations Of A Cat

This is my lovely cat Belle. She is the queen of the house:

Now for those who don’t speak cat, let me translate what she is communicating here:

Belle: You are not a very nice human, in fact, I might reconsider, having you for my mum!

Me: Why? What is wrong??? What did I do?

Belle: *fuming* You bought the wrong cat food! On purpose!!! I am not amused and will be on strike for as long as it takes!

Me: But there are around 15 packets of very good frozen cat food in the freezer, which cost a lot! What am I supposed to do with it?!

Belle: *hissing* If it is so good, why don’t you eat it?!

This is the life of a cat person!

Franky