Don’t Let Them Dictate Your Looks!!!

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Ever came across an employer who did not like the way you look?

I did! More than once!

Usually I did everything possible to please my bosses. In my case the culprit are my tattoos.

My arms, back, neck and chest are covered but I am still able to hide it under clothes.

When I worked for airports at the check-in and gates I had to wear long sleeved blouses and wear dark tights as I am also tattooed on one leg. I was happy to cover up as despite the bad payment I loved this job!

Every time I go for a job interview I make sure to wear long sleeves and have my hair open so you can’t really see anything.

For 8 months I worked for a very famous 5* hotel here in Scotland. During my induction week we were told, that visible tattoos are no problems as the hotel wants to loosen up.

But 4 months into my job I had several discussions with supervisors etc. about my neck tattoos. In the end the call came from high up, from a person who never even talked to me himself…. he wanted me banned to the back of house, out of guests view! Or to cover my tattoos with plasters. No guest ever said anything, but yes, of course I put a plaster all around my neck! Not that it is unhealthy…. or warm… or itchy….

Instead I cut off my hair so I could wear it without a hair bubble. Yes! That’s what I did. I CUT MY HAIR!!!

But you know what? I am sick of people reducing me to my tattoos!

So many people scream for equality, same wages, acceptance of all sexes, religions, colours, races and so much more.

Everyone wishes to live in a world where people respect each other, so why not tolerate people with more than one tattoo?

If heavily tattooed people keep on hiding their art, they will never get the desired position no matter how suitable they might be. No one will see beyond the colour. No one will see the talented the person.

So I am saying no and stand up for myself. I am a hard worker and if others can’t see that, than they are not the right fit!

Guess there will be a couple of trips to the tattoo shop very soon.

Franky

 

Perception of Joker

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Yesterday hubby and me watched the new ‘Joker’ movie and it was great and sad and disturbing and I could identify with the character in so many ways…

Many of us have seen ‘Joker’ movies before and in general the character of the ‘Joker” is a mental person, a twisted one, an evil persona or so it seems on the first look.

When I watched the movie the person I have seen was a deeply sad person. A man who felt invisible to society, to people around him, to women to everyone really. I felt that people would look down at him, laugh at him and no matter how hard he would try, it would never seem enough to be accepted or appreciated or just be honest with him!

How many of you felt that way before? How many of you felt alone? How many of you thought, you are not good enough…. at work, at relationships, friendships….? How many of you felt mistreated? How many of you felt unloved and not pretty enough only because you do things different or think in an unconventional way? How often have you thought, you will never be better or overcome your ‘working class status’?

In today’s world people look at you and judge you in the first few seconds, they make up their mind without putting the effort in, in getting to know you. What for a sad sad thing to do, I hang my head in shame for everyone who acts this way!

Nowadays the first reaction when people hear that someone has mental health problems like bipolar or a form of schizophrenia, ADHS, anxiety and lots of other things is disgust or comments like “they should get their act together”! Why not show a bit compassion, why not ask the person next to you how he/she is doing? Why not ask yourself if you yourself is right in the head? Aren’t we all a bit mental? Don’t we all have problems? For some their problems might be nothing major, for others it might be the end of the world….

So here I sit now, reminiscing…. and let me tell you the following:

I don’t know you, I don’t know your story but I know you are out there and I feel for you! It might not be today or tomorrow, but the day will come where you see the light in the end of the tunnel and you will feel better! And whoever tries to tell you, you are not right or not good enough, do not listen to them! You are unique and perfect in every way and you are loved and you will be cherished! You might not know it now or not have found the one just yet, but there is someone who can’t wait to meet you and give you what you are looking for and what you deserve! Don’t forget to breathe, do smile, do laugh and make the best of life as you deserve nothing but the best!

Do not give up, ever!

Franky

 

 

The hatred of professional cat breeders

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Recently I was really taken aback from the hatred of some professional cat breeders when I have thrown a question into a Siamese forum on Facebook.

I had a question about cats on heat and mating and the backlash was so bad, I left the group!

Without question me, words like “backyard breeder” and “no clue about anything” or “get your cats neutered!!!”, “they end up in shelters” where thrown right into my face.

To explain: I do have a siamese couple and I would like them to have kittens, once maybe twice maximum before I get them neutered. In the first place to keep one of the babies for myself.

I joined the group to exchange thoughts and help each other but I did not expect people to be so rude and I wonder:

Why? Do only professional breeders think, they have the right to breed because they register their cats?!

Or do they feel threaded because non registered cats sell cheaper and professional breeders might not have a good chance to make as much money?

I am not a thoughtless person, you know?

Of course I read a lot about kitten birth, what and what not to do…. aftercare etc, complications…

Of course I get them health checked, wormed and fully vaccinated! The kittens will be surrounded by family members and toilet trained and once weened off on raw food like their parents.

And most importantly I will have a proper look and check on the people who want them, like, can they afford them, do they know anything about Siamese and so on.

It is truly sad that there are still people out there who are so judgemental…

Franky

When you order gluten free….

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Those with a gluten intolerance will always be wary when eating out, especially eating out somewhere new! ESPECIALLY when it tastes suspiciously good.

Like me!

On our way back home from Loch Ness we stopped at a fish & chips shop in                   Fort Augustus!

Hubby said to wait in the car and I told him in case they do gluten free, I’d like fish&chips as well, please.

While I was waiting in the car (the babies where asleep), he phoned up to tell me, yes, they could do some for me….

Happy me, though at the back of my head I wondered why they “could do some for me”…. if you offer it on the menu it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

So husband returned and I savoured the tasty portion.

Approximately 3 hours later, IT started…. the rumbling of the belly…. the sweats…. the nauseates… followed by…. you know what, right? The run to the toilet which was accompanied with “aua, aua, aua, belly aches, belly aches, belly aches….” over and over again-

FOR TWO DAYS!!! Though the good thing is, when you keep on sh*tting your guts out, your belly looks nice and flat…. just kidding… not worth the pain!

Smart arse husband said, I probably just have a tummy bug, but let me tell you:

Having a tummy bug and dealing with the consequences of an intolerance…. there is a BIG difference, the pain much much higher than just having a BUG!

If you don’t serve gluten free, than just say so! And if you do, make sure to fulfil the requirements:

Have you washed your hands, changed your apron, used a separate fryer…..???

Not nice, Mr or whoever served the goods…

NOT impressed

Franky

You are fake

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I came across many people from different work areas which where nothing but fake!

Why do people do that? Why do they put a mask on and pretend to be something or someone they are not?

Are they afraid that people would not like them? Are they afraid they might not fulfil the requirements? Do they think they are not good enough? Surely they where not told to play an act?!

One person I came across in hospitality said it straight out: “…it’s all a show, an act, nothing is real about what I say to customers…”

Surely customers can’t be that plain to not see this, right?!

Why not be your true self? And if you can’t be your true self, why not at least be what I call ‘business friendly’?

There is no need to fake your laugh, no one wants this.

It’s a thing that really annoys me! I can see straight away when a person is not genuine and I personally don’t want this.

I believe you can make it much further in life, if you are real, if you can cummunicate what you think and believe.

A bit of honesty will not kill, you know?

Franky

Moving to Dublin

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In my last post I mentioned, that I moved to Dublin.

Well I received a job offer for a post in Dublin. If I wanted it, I would have to move within 2 weeks to Ireland.

Of course I wanted this job!!! So I quit my old job and since I was still on probation, they couldn’t say anything regarding my sudden notice! They basically bit their own arse by treating me this way and now being short of staff…

As I was saying… oh yes:

I quit my job, found myself a very expansive room, booked a one way flight and not even a week later I was gone.

The plan was that the whole family would relocate to Ireland as my husband had a job interview as well…

I started my new position and the job itself was okay, nothing special, but the wage and the package that came with it was very appealing.

But as for Dublin itself:

No offence, dear Dubliners and everyone who grew fond of Dublin, it is not for me!

My assumption was, that people who lived there are either very rich or very poor and that you would only go to Dublin for work. Work either to get richer or purely to try to survive.

I mean, I booked a room in a landlords house for €850,- per month! And though the landlords where lovely, their house was filthy! Toenails on the living room floor, kitchen tiles, floors and jalousie caked with fats, huge full ashtrays all over the place and 24/7 smoking in all rooms with closed windows. What a delight.

I was viewing other properties closer to my work location for €450,- per month but one of the rooms for example, was shared with 3 (!) other girls without a proper cupboard or opportunity to hang up your clothes…. Sheer madness!

And it seemed to me, that there where more foreigners in Dublin than Irish. And I didn’t like the city at all, there was not much nice architecture, not much greenery or maybe it is because I am spoiled by Edinburgh and it’s beauty.

Also, I was constantly on my own. Even during my lunch breaks as my two new lovely colleagues had other lunch schedules.

I have been living in Scotland for a year now and I love running here in the mountains…. I thought we could do much better, find a better job, better opportunities….

But the reality is, you have to loose something in order to realise how much you miss it.

In my case:

I just missed my family and Scotland.

So one morning when I was packing my things to move to another room, I thought:

I am constantly on my own, the people around me at work are so loud, I can barely concentrate, I hate all this tarmac and the hectic of this city, my children are crying after me, my husband missing me as well-

It’s not worth it! I quit!

So I phoned up my husband and said “how would you find it, if I just quit my job and come home?”

And that’s what I did! Without further hesitation I cancelled the new room, emailed my notice and booked the next flight back home.

Yes, we lost money and it was probably stupid to quit a job without having a new one but you know what?

You can’t buy happiness and where is the point dragging yourself to a job you don’t fully enjoy in an area you dislike so much?

But I needed to do this as otherwise I would have always asked myself ‘what if?’

I’d rather spend my time playing house wife, taking care of everyone and everything, but hey how, news, we need the money!

So I applied for some jobs and just wait and see what happens.

Franky

When your boss pisses on your leg…

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My apologies for the bland statement, but that is exactly what has happened. Not literally though:

I don’t know if I have mentioned it before, but we where thinking in relocating. But I will get to this a bit later.

The story goes like this:

In my previous job we had our “probation chats” at 1, 6 and 12 weeks.

The first week was just how I feel basically, the 6 week talk was about how I can improve and the 12 week if I have improved and whether I passed the probation.

So I was asked into the office by my manager. She couldn’t praise me enough about how hard I am working, that I work on own account and how massively I have improved! So all was positiv!

And than she said, she heard that we want to relocate and I explained that this was just a thought, a thought that would involve Orkney island. And if you know Orkney island you also know that it is not very large and jobs, well good paid jobs are sparse. I also mentioned that I would like to be able to provide for my family incase of unforeseen circumstances…

So after that she says, she would like to extend my probation and if that was okay with me?!

“No, that is not okay”, was my answer! She looked very taken aback, I guess she didn’t expect me to disagree with her.

So I asked if it was because about us relocating and she vehemently denied it, saying that she wouldn’t be allowed to use that as it would be illegal.

So I asked her again for a reason and than she did THE FACE! The face she always does when she is caught lying to customers or grasping for excuses!

First she says that it happened before that I have left the cafe when customers came in… which is rubbish and I could give her a good reason why I might have left the shop! After that she says, that often I only focus on one task and forget everything around me. She tried to explain and explain and explain so I cut her short by saying

“So basically you want me to work on my multitasking skills?” And she was so relieved, she nearly shouted “yes”.

Excuse me? I am the queen of multitasking and even if that was not the case, that is no reason for extending my probation!!!

She went on that she really like my professional and privately and that she would hate to see me leave….she doesn’t want nor does she have the time to train someone new…. bla bla bla….

I can work very well with feedback, good and bad, but the crap from her?! No Missus! She was just annoyed that I don’t appreciated the job as much as she does, but that doesn’t mean, I didn’t do a good job!

From that moment my mind was up and the second I received another job offer, I was gone!

I am at a point where I think, that if you don’t appreciate my hard work, I just turn around and leave!

And it wasn’t only the fact, that she wanted to extend my probation, no, things like constantly working late though I was promised to only work late twice per week, never a full weekend off and always doing the same work despite the promise I would do lots of other things, placed a major factor in my decision as well!

So I quit! And I don’t regret it!

Oh you want to know about my new job? I moved to Dublin!

Read my next post if you are intrigued!

Franky